I either didn't let them in or didn't stay home when I knew they were coming. YOU are coming to MY house unannounced or without my express consent. I don't have to let you enter, nor do I even have to be there.
Quick, the elders are coming to the house! Hide that!
by bronzefist 26 Replies latest jw friends
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tresdecu
I'll never forget being a young MS back in the early 90s, I had a little "get together" at my house and 1 of the elders who was there (young-save the world type guy) was snooping in some cabinets in my living room...I remember walking in and seeing him thinking WTF? I didn't think much of it at the time, just that it was weird. Anyway he saw a VHS tape of a Harrison Ford Movie (Presumed Innocent) that happened to be' Rated R'...oh the horror.
So later on that evening when he was leaving, he pulled me aside and informed me it was "grounds for removal" (meaning my MS'ship) to watch rated R movies. I humbly took the counsel and said sorry...I wanted to ask him where that was specifically written so I could see it myself. I figured it was a letter or CO instuction, but I didn't ask...just took my whoopin' like a good little elder-pee-on (aka MS)
It didn't stop me from watching "evil" R rated movies though...just got better at hiding them. And didn't invite holier-than-thou elders over to my house anymore.
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PrincessCynic
I once had an elder use my bathroom and then criticise me for having some toiletries that had come from a hotel room.
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00DAD
This thread really emphasizes the bizarre "reality" of JWs!
The fact that some of us hid things proves that being a JW crushes (or at least attempts to) your true, authentic self.
The fact that some of us felt justified to snoop and intrude in the private lives of others is an outrageous boundary violation.
And yet we went along with it because we were convinced that this completely inappropriate and unacceptable behavior was somehow "appropriate" and "acceptable". Crazy, seriously, insane.
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Rant done, now time for me to share:
When I was a True Believer TM I never had to hide anything because I had nothing to hide.
About 10 years into being an elder I started seeing that not all was right with the Good Ship WT! Then I started having to hide my thoughts.
As time progressed and I struggled to find a way to get out of the Insane Asylum known as "The Happiest People on Earth!" I started having to hide my actions and some of my friendships.
For about 2 years after I was disfellowshipped, I was still somewhat "under the spell" so to speak. For a while I even toyed with the idea of getting re-instated, not that I believed any of the shit anymore, because I didn't. Once you've learned TTATT you've rung a bell that can't be un-rung.
As I gradually started sorting out a new life I took up several "forbidden practices". I watched "R" rated movies sometimes (GASP!) would occasionally have a cigar (Oh my!). So I (felt I) had to hide those things just in case some elder would stop by like they are supposed to once a year.
Ironically three years went by with no call from the elders. (Way to obey the F&DS guys!) It wasn't until I wrote a letter requesting a meeting to have my disfellowshipping rescinded that someone finally came to call. He was a tool. I've lived in the area where I live for 50 years. Was a JW for over a quarter of a century and an elder for 20 years. So who do they send? A new guy that I'd never met before. And he came alone. (Way to obey the F&DS guys!)
Well, they decided I wasn't repentant because I don't go to meetings. Never mind that I don't do and haven't done what I was DF'd for for years. Never mind that I DID attend meetings religiously the first 2 years I was DF and then I just got so fed up with the WT lies and they abusive shunning that I just said "Enough!" Never mind that I humiliated myself by confessing "my sins" to the elders 3 years ago and turning myself in like a good little Elder (no one knew what I was doing). Never mind that I apologized to everyone that was affected by my actions. Never mind that I made very sure that those needing to be taken care of as a result of what I did and did this a great personal expense. Never mind any and all of those things.
In there minds the fact was clear. Since I hadn't been to a meeting at a KH in a year I was evidently not repentant. End of discussion.
So here I am once again in the unique position that I no longer hide anything because I have nothing to hide.
The irony is that I can clearly see that most, if not all, of those still in are hiding ... hiding in plain sight because they have much to hide.
These days when I see one of my former "best friends" I feel both sadness and amusement in the knowledge that no matter where you are you cannot hide from yourself.
They see me and turn their "Shun Gun" on me imagining in their self-righteous way that I'm the sinner. Yet the irony is that it was when I was still serving as a elder that I was the hypocrite hiding who I was right in front of them. All was pretense then. Now that I am no longer a hypocrite pretending to be something I am not they can't stand it. It is them. They are the hypocrites still pretending to be what they aren't. They think (as I too once did) that as long as they pretend no one will know. But when I see them, I know. I know what they are. I know who they are.
They don't fool me even if they fool themselves.
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King Solomon
They don't fool me even if they fool themselves.
Yup, one of my favorite childhood stories was The Kings New Clothes, about the little boy who dared to state the obvious truth, which no one else could do, fearing what everyone else would say. It's classic mind control, and you are free of it. Congrats!
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Conan The Barbarian
MY policy for sometime has been not to let them in the house. When someone visits unannounced, I open the door, say hello, explain that my wife cannot receive company right now, step outside on to the front porch, close the front door behind me and chat a little bit standing outside in the front. When at the meeting, if one of the Elders asks if he and another Brother can speak to me for a few minutes, I ask if it is a judicial matter. When they reply no it isn't, I smile and say, I would prefer not to have any private discussions. It usually ends there and has seemed to be working for quite a while.
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Band on the Run
This thread made me recall a striking memory. When I was about eleven and my sister was in first grade, we posted school work in our house. No other Witnesses lived near our neighborhood. The suburban KH was much closer than the one to which we were assigned. My mom let us post our school work as long as we removed it temporarily when my gm or aunt visited. They always telephoned b/c they knew what they would find. One day the overseer just showed up to get money from my father. My first grade sister ran in a terror and removed a Pilgrim lady she had made. She whisked it off the wall before I could grab it.
The image of this little girl knowing the situation, the absurdity of it, and what values it must have been taught us about self-esteem and believing in morals was etched in my mind forever. I felt so sorry for her.
I always saw more clearly how bad the Witnesses were through how my siiblings were affected.
People made moral compromises or sneaked behind backs in the Resistance to the Nazis and the American Revolution.