How do you work through the Anger

by jworld 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jworld
    jworld

    The gay issue is part of it. But for my parents that is not their issue. My sister is not gay and they have continually walked in and out of her life.. In an especially hyporcitical move they shunned my sister for several years after she got divorced even though both of them have been divorced.

    I would say what makes me more angry is they have no ability to reason things out or be objective. Sometimes I wonder how I ever came from them. Both my sister and I grew up in a cult and overall I think we have been successful in life.

    Today it came to me they are like addicts. Addicted to religion like its a drug. Just like a drug, there are ways to safely use religion to better your life (if you are predisposed to believing in god etc). To much though has very serious side affects. My parents have overused religion for years in ways even their peers have not. There are so many ways to look at it that is just one of mine.

    I feel better about it today atleast. Everyone here always has great insight on how to deal with issues.

  • Carl8119
    Carl8119

    you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. i know it's terrible when you can't help someone you love no matter how you explain it they always come up with some screwed wts bull shit answer that involves the most obvious circular logic I know from when i used to try to help my mum get out of the jws it was like banging my head against a brick wall and its so hard not to be angry and it only makes us angry because we care about our parents.

    i just don't bother anymore if i see or talk to my mum, which is hardly ever, its never about anything spiritual or the "state that the world is in" the anoying thing is that talking to any jw is like walking through a mind field you have to be constatly on guard not to trigger any of their pre-set buttons which initiates their pre-progamed self rightous bull shit responses and assertions all of which can be very insulting.

    I think that unless a person wants to leave sadly theres no point it trying to help them but also they should really want to be able to think for themselves because thats what we get back when we leave most of those people will never get to experience free thought they'll live their entire lives without a single original thought that blows me away and its kinda sad really.

    For me not being able to contemplate the possibilities makes my life meaningless

  • harleybear
    harleybear

    OODADD: Boundries is a great book. A must read for anyone even remotely involved in the org. When my Mom was alive she did not shun me but I was then and still am not DFed. My father on the other hand would look for a reason to shun me so I have saved him the time and effort and divorced myself from him over a year ago. anger is an emotion that is wasted on the org. I get piss off more from reflecting on the time I wasted than any lost relationships because of my fadeing.

  • perfect1
    perfect1

    I have moved on from being mopey, to being quiet fury.

    I really want to hurt the JW family the same way they hurt me. Though thats impossible.

    I want to cut them off and make them feel terrible for their ignorance and apocalypse nonsense. That they are ready to die for, let me die for, or even worse, live for at the expense of life.

    Some of you start websites and some of you picket, some of you send postcards I am not sure what I will do yet, but I am raging.

  • 144001
    144001

    I use physical exercise to exorcise the anger demon from me. It starts with playing Slayer on my car stereo during the drive to the gym, then more Slayer on the Ipod when I get there. On days when I'm really pissed off, I lift heavy weights. While straining, I think of whatever it is that pissed me off and harness the energy that comes from that anger.

    After the workout, I tend to be a lot happier and more pleasant for people to deal with.

  • nuthouse escapee
    nuthouse escapee

    As harsh as this may sound, we either choose to remain angry or we choose to let it go. I think you made an excellent point in your opening post about bringing balance back into your life. When I left I wallowed in pity at the loss of contact with my 2 adult children. I wasted time dwelling on the if onlys. If only they would see through the BS, if only the Wt would crash and burn, if only...Well after wasting considerable time (approx. 4 yrs) I realized that my anger/grieving over this whole mess was allowing the Cult to rob me of my well-deserved happiness. They had already taken the bulk of my life and I wasn't letting them have any more! Sometimes you just have to let it go and realize you will most likely not change their mind.

    The organization likes to point at the ex-JW's and say, "see how unhappy they are since leaving". As one poster remarked during my pre-posting on JWN, the best example is to live life well. At least this way at least we will be happy and who knows this in itself may trigger them to think. Just my .02 cents.

    All the best to you, and things will get better! Leslie

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