JWs through the eyes of an eight year old

by maksutov 24 Replies latest jw experiences

  • maksutov
    maksutov
    My wife is a JW, and is teaching our eight year old daughter JW beliefs. I am trying to teach her about evolution and critical thinking skills. Here is a conversation we had today (as best I can remember it):

    Daughter: "Why do bad things happen?"
    Me: "Why do you think bad things happen?"
    Daughter: "I don't know, I've only heard one opinion so far, that Satan causes them."
    Me: "So do you think an invisible person goes around making bad things happen?"
    Daughter: "Well, he's not a person, he's an animal, and he sends his demons to do bad things."
    Me: "An animal?!"
    Daughter: "Yes, I saw a picture of him as a lion, laughing while he made a man look at people having sex on the computer."
    Me (wondering how on earth she knew what the man in the picture was looking at on the computer): "I see, so that's one possibility I suppose - invisible people or animals go round forcing people to do things. But how do we know whether that's true? There is no way to test for sure whether they really exist."
    Daughter: "Well why do people get cancer?"
    Me: I explained basics of cell division and that it sometimes just goes wrong - "it doesn't need an invisible person to make it go wrong, things do just go wrong sometimes."
    Daughter: "Why do people grow old and die?"
    Me: I explained about telomeres, likening them to the ends of shoelaces, and that when they get too short the chromosomes unravel and can't be repaired, again pointing out that it doesn't need an invisible person or animal to come along and make it happen, it is just part of how our bodies work.

    We then got onto talking about evolution, and I said that unlike these invisible people there is lots of evidence for evolution. She then put on a defensive playground voice, saying "yeah? Prove it! You have to prove that we're wrong and you're right."

    I pointed out that JWs have to prove these invisible people are real, I don't have to prove that they're not, and then explained some of the evidence for evolution (bacteria, viruses, fossils, Italian wall lizards, even geographical distribution). I don't know how much of that sank in. Then she asked (again with the defensive playground sing-song voice): "Where did the first human come from then?"

    We have discussed that several times before, she knows about gradual evolution, and the common ancestry of apes and humans, but I showed her one of those pictures where a gradient goes from red to blue and pointed out that there was no single point where the colour changed from red to blue. That jogged her memory ("oh yeah, I forgot about the apes") and hopefully gave her a way to visualise gradual change.

    Now I'm questioning whether I handled it well enough, or what else I could say. She's very bright, but she is still only eight! Even though she rarely goes to a meeting, she identifies strongly with JWs because I am the only member of her immediate family who isn't a JW, and most of her school friends are muslim, so she likes the idea of belonging to a religion. How would you answer questions like that in a way an eight year old can understand?
  • cappytan
    cappytan

    This video may be above her head, but if she's as bright as she sounds, she may get something out of it:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIEoO5KdPvg

  • cofty
    cofty

    Maksutov - I think that was brilliant. Teach her how to think.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    When I was younger than your daughter, I asked my dad (while we were standing outside at night before getting ready to get into the car to go to meeting) 'Daddy, what is the moon made out of?' I sincerely wanted to know. He looked at the moon, then looked down at me and replied, 'Blue cheese'.

    That was when I knew my father was s-t-u-p-i-d. lol I would much rather he took the time and told me something worth while and professional, even though it would have been over my head at the moment.

    My belief is that your daughter will not forget the sincere questions she asks and your doubly sincere answers that you give her that no one else will.

    You are doing a wonderful job trying to gently get her to think and reason. As a born in myself, I wish I had had a father like you.

    All the best to you and your little family!

    LL

  • fulltimestudent
    fulltimestudent

    Good enough, or not good enough, is of no importance. Your daughter is on her own road, she has to travel it for herself, enjoying some beautiful things and weeping over the inevitable tragedies.

    All we can do as parents is to attempt to outfit them with the best strategies - and I would assess your effort as helpful to her emotional and intellectural growth. But time will tell.

  • maksutov
    maksutov

    cappytan: This video may be above her head, but if she's as bright as she sounds, she may get something out of it

    That's a great video, thanks, I will bookmark it. She won't understand all of it yet, but every little helps.

    cofty: Maksutov - I think that was brilliant. Teach her how to think.

    Thanks - it was the best I could come up with at the time, but I'm always on the lookout for new ideas and ways of teaching critical thinking skills.

    LoisLane: You are doing a wonderful job trying to gently get her to think and reason. As a born in myself, I wish I had had a father like you.

    All the best to you and your little family!

    Thank you for your very kind words! I was born in too, 4th generation JW - I am sincerely hoping there won't be a 5th generation JW in my family!

    fulltimestudent: Good enough, or not good enough, is of no importance. Your daughter is on her own road, she has to travel it for herself, enjoying some beautiful things and weeping over the inevitable tragedies.

    Yes, she has to do her own thinking, but I am the only person she has at present to offer a rational and scientific viewpoint (even her school teacher is a muslim who won't let the kids use the word 'hell', and changed a recent school topic from 'witches and wizards' to 'imaginary places'). As her only ambassador for rational thought, I'm keen to represent it in the best and most persuasive way I can. I am not a naturally good teacher, so I will greedily steal any ideas I can in furtherance championing rational and critical thinking, and am always on the lookout for ideas, advice or teaching techniques, or even just reassurance that I'm doing OK.

    Thank you very much for all your replies.

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    I think your answers were brilliant. Children just need their questions answered at that age and you did that. Even though I had my daughter after leaving the cult she still had teachers at school talking about Bible stories. I just answered each question, made her think as you have and let her form her own belief system.

    She is now an atheist but when she was small she believed in Jesus because that's what she was taught at school. I never forced her to stop believing in something she liked at the time. Young children can be very stubborn. I think you are doing great just answering her questions.

  • done4good
    done4good

    Great post. My very first "doubts" came about the time I was 8, asking probing, (but different), questions of my JW parent at that age.

    Unfortunately, I had no reliable non-JW sounding board to ask the same questions of, and it took another 24 years to leave after that. You did a great job in helping her to develop her critical thinking skills.

  • Brokeback Watchtower
    Brokeback Watchtower
    I like the way you reason with your daughter your a really good parent.
  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Your daughter will appreciate that you treated her with dignity and respect...not in a dismissive or stupid manner like the witness teachings encourage.

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