I just wasnt to start off by saying sorry for trolling you guys so hard with this thread title. haha.
Heres kind of my backstory: http://jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/229414/Kinda-new-here-A-Backstory
This letter from my mother has been eating at me ever since I found it in my email. She sent it to me on my birthday. It was the only real correspondence that I have had from her since she kicked me out of her house. She notified that she sent me an email via text message on that day but I didnt think about it honestly until I saw it on my computer email about month later. I was shocked with how riduclous it was. It starts off telling me about how certain family members feel about me. Funny because the only ones she mentions are the ones that I know are against me, the manipulation begins... She ends it with a fun ol term of endearment! ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE TO CHANGE. I could go on and on about the manipulations in this letter, and straight out lies. LIke the one where she says that this letter is from her alone but I know for a fact she had shown MANY people this letter and asked for their input.
Anyway, I know this is long but I just kinda wanted to post this because she really did cut and paste almost all JW thoughts on homosexuality. And I would love some input, even if you guys could just skim read a couple parts. Thank you guys so much! :)
(Sorry the documented is a little messed up with long pauses but I couldnt fix whatever she did to the documnent.)
Son: Something very special happened (aka SVSH) 22 years ago today at 3:43 pm. One of the best days of my life!! Dad said to tell you "Did I ever tell I am glad I had a son (OOPS) I mean I was glad to have YOU as a son!" The birds are chirping here at PW. Spring has sprung. No baby quail yet. We miss you so much by Dad, me, Grandma, Grandpa, Annie, Jon and the kids. Nobody loves you as much as we do and care what happens too you. At the Kingdom Hall, it is like this illustration that I heard "You work a beautiful puzzle, (like the ones we did with those round under the sea puzzles) and at the very end you realize that the last piece is missing. If people come in to the house and see the puzzle on the table, they don't say "oh what a beautiful picture", they notice the missing piece. That is the way we feel in the congregation, there is a missing piece, You. There are a lot of the friends who ask about you and tell us to tell you they love you and miss you. We love you and are begging you to reconsider and come back.
Don't ever feel you can't go back. We were all born in sin, thanks to Satan, Adam and Eve. We are all victims and have sinful tendencies that we have to fight. Was a thief, an adulterer, a fornicator, a pedophile, born that way and can't avoid the act and has no choice but to act on it. When you said you born gay, I started thinking about that statement. The loving God, Jehovah, that I worship, wouldn't put that upon a person, have them born that way, and then tell them that he will destroy you if you act upon it. We have choices as to whether we will fight the sinful tendency or act on it. We use self-control. It is not how we were born, it is behavior on our part whether we choose to act on it. We think of the consequences of our actions and hopefully it deters us from acting on something that will not bring us any lasting benefit, in this life or bring approval from Jehovah. It has even been said that a person is hard wired to be an adulterer. That is total crap. Can you imagine me or Dad getting into a situation where there is some interest in a person and we just decide, oh well, I guess I was hard-wired to commit adultery, so there is no point in fighting, it. For a person to think that they have no choice but to act on something that is sinful and hurtful to those we love and that love us is what Satan would like us to believe. He wants us dead! Either by destroying our own life now, by our bad choices or by being destroyed at Armageddon. He just doesn't care, either way, he is happy.
Jehovah is a forgiving God. Think of David who committed adultery with Bathsheba, murdered her husband and because David was so remorseful, was forgiven and loved again by Jehovah. His conscience tormented him. Just like David, I know you don't believe homosexuality is okay, you just feel you have no control of it. We all feel that way at times in our life. You are very young, you will learn to develop self control. We all have to work at that. It is like Dad, when he was in the world, young, he had to come to the point that he had a bad taste in his mouth for his way of life and he changed, never to return to it.
If you really don't want this kind of life, you can change. I am enclosing some articles that show how people have changed. These are articles that show that there are many people who struggle with this as you have. If you really want to change, it can happen. We will help you. I know in the past, your conscience was torturing you , because you know the difference from right and wrong so don't think you can't change. When you were at home, Dad and I didn't know what we were dealing with, now we do. We will help you!
We are concerned that you have an eating disorder. We are so worried about you. You threatened suicide . You can't believe how all of this causes Dad and me such unbelievable worry and anxiety. I feel this is all connected to your bothered conscience. Seth, don't continue with this life, try to change, please. We will help you. You can do it, I know it. You were always the sweetest, kindest and most loving person I knew of and hated anything wrong, especially if it had to do with the underdog, someone being mistreated. I know it is still in your heart. I just can't believe that this life you have been leading is bringing you joy, happiness and contentment. You said you wanted therapy. Dad and I are willing to help you get that if you still want it. We will pay for it and help you fmd a therapist. You were always concerned about your health and now it seems you have put your health in such danger.
Jehovah never forgets the good you have done and I have watched you for 22 years and can't express all of the good you have done You are a really good person in so many ways. Don't let this one thing ruin your life and alienate you from him and from your family, you have so many good qualities. I know you remember Jehovah and your family and will come back to us. We love you more than you will ever know and will help you to get healthy again. Dad and I want to talk to you whenever you want. Mama
Young People Ask .. .
Is There Something Wrong With Me?
The rapid spread of AIDS has focused world attention on the subject of homosexuality, bringing into the open many questions and fears among youths relative to their own sexuality. This article serves to address some of these fears in a dignified, helpful way.
'I AM a girl and I have a funny feeling about one of my teachers. I am afraid I might be in love with her or something.' So wrote one 13-year-old girl. Her predicament is not unusual. The book Adolescence notes that the subject of homosexuality "arouses considerable anxiety among many adolescents . . . It is not uncommon for adolescents to wonder if they themselves are homosexuals."
Alan, now a young adult, recalls: "Mark was my first real friend. Prior to this, I had been the oddball in school, shunned because of my interest in the arts and a lack of interest in sports. Mark's friendship stirred in me warm feelings of admiration. I loved him in the sense of wanting to be with him and in wanting to be just like him. But I worried if these sudden strong feelings could be a manifestation of latent homosexual tendencies."
Where do such feelings come from? Are they necessarily evil? The Origin of Same-Sex Crushes
There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel close to others. "There exists a friend sticking closer than a brother," says Proverbs 18:24. A number of close relationships, free of homosexual overtones, are thus highlighted in the Bible; for example, Jesus and the apostle John, Naomi and Ruth, and David and Jonathan.-Ruth 1:16, 17; 1 Samuel 18:1; John 13:23.
Same-sex crushes, however, differ from mature relationships based on friendship or respect in that such crushes are mere infatuations that usually are one-sided. The object of the crush is often an older youth or adult (such as a teacher) who may be virtually idolized.
Most experts believe that such a crush is little more than a short-lived growing pain, "more of an indication of the developmental process of adolescence than of homosexuality." (Coping With
Teenage Depression, by Kathleen McCoy) Youths are groping for identity, acceptance. As writer Sally Helgesen put it: "We often turn to older [youths] who appear to represent what we would like to become and try to pattern ourselves upon them."
Infatuation with members of the same sex may also develop because of loneliness, a lack of self-esteem, or a need for emotional support. Recalls Alan: "The main factor was my emotional instability and self-alienation from my parents. Not feeling I could communicate with them, I confided more and more in Mark."
Dr. Richard E. Kreipe says that "crush relationships should not be considered 'homosexual' since they rarely result in intimate contact. Likewise, such behavior does not predict future homosexual orientation as an adult." (Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality) Alan thus says: "My fears concerning my feelings toward Mark were eased. I realized that there really wasn't anything 'wrong' with me after all!"
Nevertheless, same-sex crushes often give birth to depression, jealousies, possessiveness, and virtual obsession with the one idolized-unhealthy emotions, indeed! How can , you rid yourself of such feelings? Begin by taking a cool, objective look at the person you so idolize. Is it not true that he or she is just human, subject to all manner of frailties and shortcomings? (Romans 3:23) Fortunately, teenagers usually outgrow such crushes as they mature and begin to feel secure about themselves.
A Need to Keep on Guard
What, though, if the crush includes erotic thoughts or dreams about someone of the same sex? Remember, you are in "the bloom of youth"-the time when you are subject to an onslaught of new desires and feelings. (1 Corinthians 7:36) Until you learn how to handle these impulses, you may be subject to unwanted sexual arousal. And while it can be distressing to feel attracted to someone of your sex, it does not mean you will become a homosexual. Most youths outgrow such feelings.
Still, there is a need to guard against becoming ensnared by homosexuality. The Bible warns at 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10: "Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, ("homosexual perverts," Today's English Version) . . . will inherit God's kingdom."-Compare Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:26, 27.
A youth who dwells on immoral thoughts runs the serious risk of having fantasy become reality. (James 1:14, 15) Surveys reveal that especially among preteenagers, "sexual play" among youths of the same sex is alarmingly common. True, most experts agree that this seldom leads to a life of homosexuality. Nevertheless, such "sexual play" (though perhaps done without a real comprehension of its moral implications) is unclean and could even amount to pornei'a-the Greek word used in the Bible to describe immoral sexual conduct with another person. (Jude 7) Such conduct not only is displeasing to Jehovah but could lead a youth into homosexual acts and leave lasting emotional scars.
So if erotic thoughts about others of the same sex occur, work hard to keep your mind on things that are 'righteous, chaste, and lovable.' (Philippians 4:8) Avoid things that arouse immoral desires, such as certain TV shows, pornographic films, and perhaps even some fashion or bodybuilding magazines featuring lightly clad models. Dave, who was plagued by homosexual fantasies and dreams when he was a teenager, admits: "I'm sure that both masturbation and pornography directly contributed to these dreams because the things I would see in erotic literature and movies would oftentimes be relived at night." Only by filling his mind with proper thoughts was he able to curtail the lewd fantasies.
Jason, now a Christian elder, likewise felt a sexual pull toward members of his own sex when he was younger. He admits: "I think masturbation intensified my problem with same-sex fantasies. It produced in me a daily thinking along grossly immoral lines. This built up a strong appetite for further unclean desires." You need to 'deaden your body members as respects fornication.' (Colossians 3:5) Masturbation only feeds wrong desires.*
Confiding in your parents or a mature Christian also helps. Such ones may have practical advice to offer and can also monitor your progress in overcoming these feelings. Jason confided in a mature Christian and later in some congregation elders. (Proverbs 11:14) He recalls: "[My friend] told me to enlarge my circle of friends, both males and females, not always spending my time with the same ones."
Until Jason gained control of his sexual feelings, further precautions were deemed prudent. He recalls: "I also had to learn to exercise care not to be affectionate with people of my sex who I found aroused me sexually. By affectionate, I mean by light horseplay and hugging." Such self-discipline harmonizes with the apostle Paul's exhortation to 'punish your body, treating it roughly, training it to do what it should, not what it wants to do.'-l Corinthians 9:27, The Living Bible.
Easing Guilt Feelings
Some youths are afflicted with feelings of guilt and with doubts long after their infatuations have cooled. Some are also tormented by memories of having, as young children, unwittingly engaged in sex play of a homosexual nature.
Little would be accomplished by fretting over the distant past, especially when one has long since outgrown any attraction to the same sex.* After all, Jehovah 'forgives in a large way' and takes into consideration how limited one's understanding of sexual matters was as a child. (Isaiah 55:7) We can thus 'assure our hearts before God whenever our hearts condemn us, because God is greater than our hearts and knows all things.' (1 John 3:19, 20) Still, talking matters over with one's parents or with Christian elders may prove helpful.
Having a crush on someone of the same sex may be an embarrassing and distressing experience. But it need not leave a lifelong scar. It is yet one more youthful trial that can be overcome with self-discipline and the help of Jehovah God.
[Footnotes]
See the articles on masturbation appearing in the September 8, 1987; November 8, 1987; and
March 8, 1988, issues of Awake!
If those feelings of attraction to the same sex have persisted, or if the acts of sexual misconduct occurred after one's baptism as a Christian, it is imperative that the youth seek the help of Christian parents and congregation elders.-James 5:14, 15.
Why I Gave Up a Lucrative Career (June 2010) I cannot express how grateful I am to you for this article! I am 39 years old and raising three children alone. In the area of Russia where I live, it is very hard to find work. But the example of Martha Teresa Marquez moved me to action. The article said that in order to support herself in the full-time ministry, Martha made tamales at home and sold them on the street. So I decided to follow her example and make small Russian pastries called piroshki. It worked! Now it's our family business. Because of this, my children are learning practical life skills and are be coming more responsible.
How to Cope With Stuttering (May 2010) Thank you for sharing accurate information about stuttering. We are working hard to. let those who struggle with stuttering know that there are many effective options for help.
J. F., president of The Stuttering Foundation, United States
Young People Ask :.. How Can I Explain the Bible's View of Homosexuality? (December 2010) I have been married for ten years, and I have one child. I struggle daily with my "thorn in the flesh." I have ho mosexual desires. Marriage did not change that. I had truly been in the depths of despair because I couldn't seem to win my fight against my desires. However, after read ing this article, I no longer feel like a lost. cause. I have been able to accomplish the reachable goal of not acting on those desires. -2 Corinthians 12:7.
Name withheld, United States
I have dealt with homosexual urges from as early as five years of age. I am now 61 years old, and the urges have not subsided. I especially liked the points that stated that even heterosexuals must flee from fornication and that there are "many who are sin gle with little prospect of marriage and many who are married to a disabled partner who is unable to function sexually," yet they are able to live happily withoutfulfill ing their sexual urges. Therefore, those with homosexual inclinations can likewise lead moral lives if they truly want to please God. So I thank you for encouraging those of us who deal with this circumstance:
Name withheld, United States
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Young People Ask
How Can I Explain the Bible's View of Homosexuality?
The awards ceremony erupts into a frenzy when two popular actresses greet each other with a passionate kiss! Onlookers gasp in shock and then cheer in support. Gays call it a triumph. Skeptics call it a publicity stunt. Whichever it is, video clips of the kiss will be aired repeatedly on TV newscasts-and elicit millions of hits on the Internet-for days to come.
AS ILLUSTRATED in the above scenario, few events create more media buzz than when a celebrity comes out as being gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Some people praise such ones for their courage; others condemn them for their debauchery. Between the two extremes, many view homosexuality as nothing more than an alternative lifestyle. "When I was in school," says Daniel, 21, "even straight kids felt that if you had a problem with the idea of homosexuality, you were prejudiced and judgmental."*
Attitudes about homosexuality may differ from one generation to another or from one land to another. But Christians aren't "carried hither and thither by every wind of teaching." (Ephesians 4:14) Instead, they adhere to the Bible's view.
What is the Bible's view of homosexuality? If you live by the Bible's moral code, how can you respond to those who label you prejudiced, judgmental, or even homophobic? Consider the following questions and possible responses.
What does the Bible say about homosexuality? The Bible makes it clear that God designed sex to be engaged in only between a male and a female and only within the arrangement of marriage. (Genesis 1:27, 28; Leviticus 18:22; Proverbs 5:18, 19) When the Bible condemns fornication, it is referring to both homosexual and heterosexual conduct.*-Galatians 5:19-21.
If someone asks: "What's your view of homosexuality?"
You might reply: "I don't hate homosexuals, but I can't approve of their conduct."
? Remember: If you're guided, by the Bible's moral code, then that is your lifestyle choice, and you have a right to it. (Joshua 24:15) Don't feel ashamed of your view. -Psalm 119:46.
Shouldn't Christians treat all people with respect, regardless of their sexual orientation? Absolutely. The Bible says: "Honor men of all sorts" or, as Today's English Version renders it, "Respect everyone." (1 Peter 2:17) Therefore, Christians are not homophobic. They show kindness to all people, including those who are gay.-Matthew 7:12.
If someone asks: "Doesn't your view of homosexuality encourage prejudice against gays?"
You might reply: "Not at all. I reject homosexual conduct, not people."
? You could add: "To illustrate it, I also choose not to smoke. In fact, I find the very idea of it repugnant. But suppose you're a smoker and you feel differently. I wouldn't be prejudiced against you for your view, just as I'm sure you wouldn't be prejudiced against me for my view-am I right? The same principle applies to our differing views of homosexuality."
Didn't Jesus preach tolerance? If so, shouldn't Christians take a permissive view of homosexuality? Jesus didn't encourage his followers to accept any and all lifestyles. Rather, he taught that the way to salvation is open to "everyone exercising faith in him." (John 3:16) Exercising faith in Jesus includes conforming to God's moral code, which forbids certain types of conduct -including homosexuality.-Romans 1:26, 27.
If someone says: "Homosexuals can't change their orientation; they're born that way." You might reply: "The Bible doesn't comment on the biology of homosexuals, although
it acknowledges that some traits are deeply ingrained. (2 Corinthians 10:4, 5) Even if some are oriented toward the same sex, the Bible tells Christians to shun homosexual acts."
? Suggestion: Rather than get ensnared in a debate about the cause of homosexual desires, emphasize that the Bible prohibits homosexual conduct. To make a comparison, you could say: "You know, many claim that violent behavior can have a genetic root and that as a result, some people are predisposed to it. (Proverbs 29:22) What if that was true? As you might know, the Bible condemns fits of anger. (Psalm 37:8; Ephesians 4:31) Is that standard unfair just because some may be inclined toward violence?"
How could God tell someone who is attracted to the same sex to shun homosexuality? That sounds cruel. Such reasoning is based on the flawed notion that humans must act on their sexual impulses. The Bible dignifies humans by assuring them that they can choose not to act on their improper sexual urges if they truly want to.-Colossians 3:5.
If someone says: "Even if you're not gay, you should change your view of homosexuality."
You might reply: "Suppose I didn't approve of gambling but you did. Would it be reasonable for you to insist that I change my view, simply because millions of people choose to gamble?"
? Remember this: Most people (including homosexuals) have some ethical code that causes them to deplore certain things-perhaps fraud, injustice, or war. The Bible prohibits those behaviors; it also draws the line at certain types of sexual conduct, including homosexuality.-1 Corinthians 6:9-11.
The Bible is not unreasonable nor does it promote prejudice. It simply directs those with same-sex urges to do the same thing that is required of those with an opposite-sex attraction-to "flee from fornication."-1 Corinthians 6:18.
The fact is, millions of heterosexuals who wish to conform to the Bible's standards employ self-control despite any temptations they might face. Their numbers include many who are single with little prospect of marriage and many who are married to a disabled partner who is unable to function sexually. They are able to live happily without fulfilling their sexual urges. Those with homosexual inclinations can do the same if they truly want to please God.-Deuteronomy 30:19.
More articles from the "Young People Ask" series can be found at the Web site www.watchtower. org/ype
[Footnotes]
Names in this article have been changed.
The Bible term "fornication" refers not only to intercourse but also to acts such as masturbating another person or engaging in oral sex or anal sex.
TO THINK ABOUT
- Why does God impose moral laws on humans?
- How do you benefit from adhering to the Bible's moral laws?
[Box on page 24]
WHAT ABOUT BISEXUALITY?
Although it can be found among both genders, it seems that bisexuality is becoming increasingly common in girls. Consider a few reasons.
- Attention "Boys openly admit that they think lesbians are appealing. Girls who lack self-confidence will do almost anything to make a guy like them."-Jessica, 16.
- Curiosity "When you put something out there in movies, TV, and music that promotes girls kissing girls, teens will be tempted to try it-especially when they do not consider it to be wrong."-Lisa, 26.
- Attraction "I met two bisexual girls at a party, and later I found out from a friend that they liked me. Eventually I started texting one of the girls, and I started developing feelings for her."-Vicky, 13.
If you want to please God, you should avoid experimenting with conduct that the Bible describes as unclean. (Ephesians 4:19; 5:11) But what if you're really drawn to both sexes? Many would urge you simply to embrace your sexuality and come out as bisexual. However, you should be aware that same-sex attraction is often nothing more than a passing phase. That's what Lisette, 16, found. She says: "Talking to my parents about my feelings made me feel better. Also, through my biology classes in school, I learned that during the adolescent years, hormone levels can fluctuate greatly. I truly think that if more youths knew more about their bodies, they would understand that same-sex attraction can be temporary and they wouldn't feel the pressure to be gay."
Even if your feelings are more deep-rooted than a short-lived growing pain, realize that the Bible presents you with a reachable goal: You can choose not to act on any wrong desires.* [Footnote]
For more information, see "How Can I Avoid Homosexuality?" in chapter 28 of the book Questions Young People Ask-Answers That Work, Volume 2, published by Jehovah's Witnesses.
[Picture on page 23]
When it comes to popular opinion, Christians have the courage to walk against the crowd
The Bible's View
Can You Change Your Personality?
"SORRY! But that's the way I am and I can't change. You'll just have to make the best of it!" Expressions such as these have been made time and again by one member of a family to another as an excuse or in justification of displaying certain personality traits that irk, or may even severely try, others. In particular is this likely to be the mental attitude of those addicted to alcohol or who follow a homosexual way of life.
But is it really so that personalities cannot be changed? The Bible indicates that they can be. For example, the apostle Paul wrote: "For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me." (Phil. 4:13) For one thing, he was able, by virtue of this power: to put up with all manner of circumstances; he knew how to get along with much or with little. And, as we examine his life, we find him serving faithfully as an "apostle to the nations," although often experiencing beatings, once being stoned, three times being shipwrecked, spending a day and a night in the deep, as well as having undergone or faced all kinds of dangers.-2 Cor. 11:22-27; Rom. 11:13.
More than that, Paul was able to make a radical change in his personality. Before he became a Christian, he had been a "blasphemer and a persecutor and an insolent man." Because of this, he speaks of himself as having been the 'foremost of sinners.' (1 Tim. 1:12-16) However, upon becoming a Christian he became so exemplary that he could write: "Become imitators of me, even as I am of Christ."-1 Cor. 11:1.
No, this was not an easy thing to do. Paul had internal conflicts, so that at times he did the
things he wished not to do and did not do the things he desired to do. But his weaknesses never got the upper hand. That is why he could exclaim in this connection: "Thanks to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Rom. 7:13-25) Yes, great as were his responsibilities and privileges in being the apostle to the nations, he had a struggle. That is why he also wrote: "I pummel my body and lead it as a slave, that, after I have preached to others, I myself should not become disapproved somehow." (1 Cor. 9:27) There is no question that, by 'virtue of the strength God provided,' Paul was able to change his personality.
And not only could the apostle. He tells of the changes in personality made by some at Corinth who had been indulging in fornication, idolatry, adultery, homosexuality, thievery, and so forth. What enabled them to change? Their newly found religion. "But you have been washed clean," says Paul, "but you have been sanctified, but you have been declared righteous in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and with the spirit of our God." (1 Cor. 6:9-11) Similarly, the apostle Peter writes of some who had left off such bad habits. These Christians, too, had made changes in their personalities.-1 Pet. 4:3, 4.
Then again, it is common knowledge that there is very little unselfish, self-sacrificing love shown by people in general, little even by those belonging to the same religion or "church." But Jesus said that this quality, genuine love, would mark his followers. (John 13:34, 35) For that to be true, his followers have to make changes in their personalities, from selfishness to unselfishness.
But today there are some who do not agree. For example, there is a certain clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of British Columbia. To a leading "fundamentalist" magazine, he wrote a letter that was published under the heading "No Help On Homosexuality." In it he objected to an article that had previously appeared in that magazine to the effect that homosexuality was not compatible with Christianity. According to him, it is too much to expect conversion to Christianity to effect a change in sexual orientation from homosexuality to heterosexuality. He referred to some who insisted that, at best, only 25 percent can change, and he quoted the evangelical British psychiatrist whose experience with 50 homosexuals caused him to conclude: "If anyone believes that the experience of conversion will take away sexual desires and lead to a normal attraction toward the opposite sex, then he is mistaken. . . . I have met no single case of a man being set free from them by spiritual measures."
Why the contradiction? Who is mistaken? It could not be the apostles Paul and Peter, for they
were not only intelligent and honest men but they wrote under divine inspiration. The only conclusion
we can come to is that those who insist that conversion did not result in a change of personality did
not use the right kind of "spiritual measures." In other words, the professed believers were not converted to true, genuine, apostolic Christianity.
Why can true Christianity cause a change in personality regardless of the nature of the flaws? For one thing, because true Christianity inculcates strong faith in the Creator. He made us and he has the right to tell us what we may and may not do. Moreover, being the all-wise, just and loving Sovereign of our lives, he knows what is best for us. Faith in him will enable us to take his view on this matter, and his Word makes it very plain that he considers homosexuality a gross sin.-See Genesis 19:1-29; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; 1 Timothy 1:8-11; Jude 7.
So, from the first step onward, there must be an accepting of God's view that this practice is bad and an obeying of God's command to "hate what is bad." (Ps. 97:10) Even as an ex-alcoholic must try to "hate" the inebriating effect of liquor if he would remain free from his addiction, so must the one who once was a homosexual "hate" his former sexual orientation. To be able to do this, he needs to heed the advice: "Quit being fashioned after this system of things, but be transformed by making your mind over, that you may prove to yourselves the good and acceptable and perfect will of God." (Rom. 12:2) This requires feeding the mind on God's Word and thinking the right thoughts. (Matt. 4:4; Phil. 4:8) Yes, with the help of God's Word and holy spirit, persons can strip off their old personality and "put on the new personality which [is] created according to God's will."-Eph. 4:22-24; Col. 3:8-10.
God has also provided the avenue of prayer. Jesus told us that, if we pray in faith, our prayers will be answered. (Matt. 21:22; Luke 11:13; Zech. 4:6) Further, God's Word also makes provision for the elders in a Christian congregation to help.-Gal. 6:1; Jas. 5:14-20.
The facts show that these "spiritual measures" have helped men and women to get free from homosexuality today, even as they did in apostolic times. True Christianity provides both the motivation and the aids that enable persons to make changes in their personalities, all to God's glory and to the blessing of themselves and those with whom they associate. Is Change Possible for Homosexuals?IT IS true that the Bible shows clearly that homosexuality is wrong. But Jehovah, the God of the Bible, is considerate of mankind's weaknesses. He is a God of love. So he does not cast aside as totally irredeemable any person-as long as that individual strives diligently to conform to His will. The Scriptures show that the homosexual, to gain God's approval, must make a change. But the Bible also reveals that such a change is possible. The apostle Paul refers to some persons who had been homosexuals and then says, in 1 Corinthians 6:11: "And yet that is what some of you were. But you have been washed clean." They had changed!
However, many homosexuals argue that they cannot change. They are, in effect, saying that the Bible is wrong. Some assert, "I cannot help it; I was born a homosexual." Or, they may say that homosexuality is the result of their rearing. There are, no doubt, many social and emotional factors involved in a person's turning from heterosexual to homosexual relationships, and the root causes of homosexuality may not be known. But no one should fatalistically argue that 'I cannot help it.' Why?
Because the bulk of available information agrees with the Bible: Homosexuals CAN change. Nothing but the person himself forces an individual to remain homosexual. Does that statement sound too strong to you? Well, consider the evidence.
WHY THEY DO NOT CHANGE
As one reads material on the subject or talks to homosexuals, one is struck by this fact: Homosexuals want to be homosexuals. An article largely sympathetic to the homosexual movement appeared in the Minneapolis Tribune, May 14, 1972. Notice the writer's observations:
"Behind all of this, one senses the unspoken fear that some factor might be found in research that would make it seem possible to change a gay into a straight. They wouldn't want this. They are happy in their gayness. They don't want to be straight.
"Lena Hardin, who is coordinator with Mike McConnell of Gay House's speaking bureau, put it this way: 'The only advantage to being straight is that you no longer would be different. Other people's concepts and considerations of you would be altered. And, to tell you the truth, it's not all that valuable. I still want to be what I am."'
Notice, no appeal to being 'born homosexual' or with a 'poor family background.' The individuals involved just plainly say: "I still want to be what I am."
THINKING TRANSFORMED
Since a person chooses to be homosexual, it is his thinking that has been affected, urging him to make that sexual preference. Reasonably, the Bible agrees that this is at the base of the problem. Paul writes about homosexuals, that "God gave them up to a disapproved mental state, to do the things not fitting." (Rom. 1:26-28) Such individuals have come to reason from the heart in a wrong way, developing perverted desires.-Matt. 15:18-20.
What the Bible says in this respect accords with the facts revealed by homosexuals. Thus an American explains the process by which his reasoning was won over to the homosexual viewpoint: "Homosexuality is the product of very complicated conditioning over an extended period of time .. . [Homosexuals] deliberately go through a brainwashing experience-'I'm gay and I'm proud. I'm beautiful.' This is reverse therapy."
This thinking is at the core of the homosexual problem. One could stop being homosexual only if one no longer thought like a homosexual and no longer had their desires. The Bible, in 1 Corinthians 6:11, shows that such a change in thinking is possible. Then why is it that more do not change?
An interviewer for the Long Island (New York) Press asked a converted homosexual this same question. In answer, the man said:
"In the first place, there's the widespread belief that it's impossible. Second, thousands of unhappy homosexuals have no resources to get into expensive therapy. Third, fear of exposure inhibits a lot of men."
The man accepted the challenge to change. In time, he took the step that the Bible recommends as proper for those who lack sexual self-regulation, namely, honorable marriage. (1 Cor. 7:1, 2, 9) However, no homosexual should think that marriage of itself will solve his problem. There are many so-called "bisexuals" who, though married, also carry on secret affairs with persons of the same sex. A "bisexual" is still a homosexual and needs to make changes.
Similarly, sometimes married or single men will tell counselors that they are no longer homosexuals since they have left off actual physical contact with others. But they should examine themselves honestly and fairly. The New Encyclopedia Britannica defines a homosexual as "a person who in fantasy or reality habitually prefers sexual relations with a person of the same sex." Thus, a male who regularly harbors desires for other males is yet a homosexual in his heart. (Compare Matthew 5:27, 28.) That is what he really wants. He must yet work to elevate his thinking.-Phil. 4:8, 9.
But, as noted in the experience related above, no one should think that he can make a complete change to a Christian way of life in his own strength. He must look to Jehovah God for help. Jehovah has given the Christian congregations of his Witnesses to assist any person who genuinely desires to lead a morally upright life. At no charge they will teach any sincere person what the Bible says and provide personal help that such ones need to make adjustments.
God has also given his holy spirit for those who want to clean up their lives. Even if on occasion a person has a temporary setback in his struggle to overcome a habitually ingrained practice like homosexuality, we have God's assurance that His spirit will sustain him if he honestly keeps trying to do what is right. Like the sinner David, who was a king of Israel, such a person can pray, confident that Jehovah hears him: "May you purify me from sin with hyssop, that I may be clean; may you wash me, that I may become whiter even than snow. Conceal your face from my sins, and wipe out even all my errors. Create in me even a pure heart, 0 God, and put within me a new spirit, a steadfast one. Do not throw me away from before your face; and your holy spirit 0 do not take away from me."-Ps. 51:7, 9-11.
As a person works to change his thinking, he will want to show good sense and make certain practical adjustments in his way of life. For instance, depending on his case, he may choose different employment, or a new location in which to live. He may also find it advantageous to adjust his clothing and grooming as well as the way he acts, talks and walks.-Ps. 119:66.
In some cases, owing to the nature of a person's past, it is conceivable that the total emotional, physical and social effects of homosexuality will not be wiped out for many years, maybe not ever in this present system of things. But a person should never give up his fight. If progress sometimes seems slow, persist and rely on Jehovah's spirit; this will in time yield good results.
Therefore, the real question before those faced with the problem of homosexuality is not, 'Is the Bible's view reasonable?' The Bible's view is indeed very reasonable. Rather, the potent question before them is: Do I really want to change and will I accept the challenge of doing so?
The Bible's Viewpoint
Should Christians Hate Homosexuals?
IN 1969 a word describing an irrational fear of or aversion to homosexuals was coined in the English language. The word is "homophobia." Many languages do not have such a specific word, yet for thousands of years, people of many nations and tongues have evinced a dislike for homosexuals.
In more recent times, though, homosexuality has been widely promoted as merely an alternative form of sexual expression. Historian Jerry Z. Muller recently wrote of a "rising demand for public recognition and respect for homosexuality as such." He explained that homosexuals "have increasingly banded together to proclaim their practice as praiseworthy, and to demand that others do so as well." This is seen especially in Western countries. However, in most parts of the world, even in so-called liberal lands, many still condemn and spurn homosexuality.
Homosexuals and those suspected of homosexuality are often singled out as targets of scornful remarks, harassment, and violence. Even religious leaders have manifested such hatred. Some have started what may seem to be their own private wars against homosexuals. Take, for instance, the comments made by a bishop of the Greek Orthodox Church that were broadcasted recently on Greek national radio. He stated: "God will burn homosexuals forever in the fiery pitch of hell. The screams of their filthy mouths will resound to all eternity. Their perverse bodies will experience unbearable torment." Is this really true? How does God feel about homosexuals?
God's View
The Bible does not call particular attention to homosexuals as a group to be ostracized or hated by Christians. Moreover, it does not teach that God will punish homosexuals-or any of his creatures-by burning them in a fiery hell forever.-Compare Romans 6:23.
However, the Scriptures do set forth the moral standards of our Creator, which oftentimes run counter to modern-day mores. Homosexual acts, heterosexual sex between unmarried persons, and bestiality are all condemned in the Bible. (Exodus 22:19; Ephesians 5:3-5) God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of such sexual practices.-Genesis 13:13; 18:20; 19:4, 5, 24, 25.
Regarding acts of homosexuality, God's Word pointedly says: "This is a hateful thing." (Leviticus 18:22, The New Jerusalem Bible) God's Law to Israel stipulated: "When a man lies down with a male the same as one lies down with a woman, both of them have done a detestable thing. They should be put to death without fail." (Leviticus 20:13) The same punishment was prescribed for those committing bestiality, incest, and adultery.-Leviticus 20:10-12, 14-17.
The apostle Paul was inspired to describe homosexual acts as expressions of "disgraceful sexual appetites" and as "contrary to nature." He writes: "That is why God gave them up to disgraceful sexual appetites, for both their females changed the natural use of themselves into one contrary to nature; and likewise even the males left the natural use of the female and became violently inflamed in their lust toward one another, males with males, working what is obscene and receiving in themselves the full recompense, which was due for their error. And just as they did not approve of holding God in accurate knowledge, God gave them up to a disapproved mental state, to do the things not fitting."-Romans 1:26-28.
The Scriptures offer no apologies, no concessions, no ambiguity; homosexual practices, adultery, fornication, are all repulsive in God's sight. Accordingly, true Christians do not water down the Bible's position on "disgraceful sexual appetites" merely to become more popular or more acceptable to modern culture. Nor do they agree with any movement dedicated to the promotion of homosexuality as a normal life-style.
"Hate What Is Bad"
The Bible admonishes: "0 you lovers of Jehovah, hate what is bad." (Psalm 97:10) Hence, Christians are expected to hate every practice that violates Jehovah's laws. Some people may even react with stronger feelings of aversion or disgust toward homosexuality than toward other types of immorality, viewing homosexuality as an unnatural sexual perversion. However, should Christians hate the individuals who practice such things?
-Romans 5:8. [Footnote]
See the article "How Can I Make These Feelings Go Away?," in the March 22, 1995, issue of Awake!
[Blurb on page 14]
Christians do not water down the Bible's view of homosexuality
[Picture Credit Line on page 13] Punch
The psalmist sheds some light on this issue at Psalm 139:21, 22: "Do I not hate those who are intensely hating you, 0 Jehovah, and do I not feel a loathing for those revolting against you? With a complete hatred I do hate them. They have become to me real enemies." Our loyalty to Jehovah and his principles should generate in us a strong dislike of those who deliberately revolt against Jehovah and who take a stand as God's enemies. Satan and the demons are among such confirmed enemies of God. Some humans also likely fall into this category. Yet, it may be very difficult for a Christian to identify such people from outward appearances. We cannot read hearts. (Jeremiah 17:9, 10) It would be wrong to assume that one is an unreformable enemy of God because he or she is practicing wrong. In many cases wrongdoers simply do not know God's standards.
Hence, generally speaking, Christians are slow to hate fellow humans. Even if they have strong feelings of abhorrence toward certain life-styles, they do not seek to inflict injury on others, nor do they harbor spite or malice toward them. Rather, the Bible counsels Christians to "be peaceable with all men."-Romans 12:9, 17-19.
"God Is Not Partial"
Jehovah will grant forgiveness to the person who truly repents, no matter what immorality that person may have been committing. There is no evidence that Jehovah views one form of immorality as worse than another. "God is not partial." (Acts 10:34, 35) Consider, for example, the case of the first-century congregation in Corinth. The apostle Paul wrote to them: "Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God's kingdom." Then Paul acknowledged that some former fornicators, adulterers, homosexuals, and thieves had been accepted into the Christian congregation in Corinth. He explained: "And yet that is what some of you were. But you have been washed clean, but you have been sanctified, but you have been declared righteous in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and with the spirit of our God." -1 Corinthians 6:9-11.
Of course, Jehovah does not tolerate any continued and persistent violation of his perfect moral standards. He definitely hates the obstinate disregard of his principles. However, he keeps the door for reconciliation open. (Psalm 86:5; Isaiah 55:7) In harmony with this, Christians do not make homosexuals, or anyone else, the target of ill will, ridicule, or harassment. True Christians view their fellow humans as potential disciples of Christ, treating them in a respectful and dignified manner. The Bible says: "This is fine and acceptable in the sight of our Savior, God, whose will is that all sorts of men should be saved and come to an accurate knowledge of truth."-1 Timothy 2:3, 4.
Christians Welcome the Repentant
Time and again, the Bible declares that God is forgiving. It describes him as "a God of acts of forgiveness, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abundant in loving-kindness." (Nehemiah 9:17; Ezekiel 33:11; 2 Peter 3:9) The Bible further likens him to the father in Jesus' parable about the prodigal son who had squandered his inheritance on debauchery in a distant land. The father waited with open arms to welcome back his son when the son finally came to his senses, repented, and returned to his family home.-Luke 15:11-24.
Yes, it is possible for a wrongdoer to change. The Scriptures acknowledge this by encouraging people to strip off the old personality and put on the new one and to 'be made new in the force actuating the mind.' (Ephesians 4:22-24) Those who practice what is bad, including homosexuals, can make radical changes in their pattern of thinking and behavior, and many have indeed been successful in making this transformation.* Jesus himself preached to such ones; and on showing repentance, they became acceptable to him.-Matthew 21:31, 32.
Christians welcome repentant people from diverse walks of life. After leaving behind immoral practices, whatever they might have been, all can enjoy the full benefits of God's forgiveness because "Jehovah is good to all, and his mercies are over all his works."-Psalm 145:9.
Christians are ready to offer the needed spiritual support, even to those who are still struggling with homosexual inclinations. This is in harmony with God's own manifestation of love, for the Bible says: "God recommends his own love to us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Though many psychiatrists and others have given the impression that a person cannot change,
this man's experience shows otherwise. He admits to knowing six other men who have also changed.
Such adjustments admittedly are not easy to make. Why? Because not just one's pattern of thinking has developed in a certain way, but one's body has come to crave something abnormal. As a person's pattern of reasoning is adjusted back to that which is entirely natural, so must his whole way of life. Slowly, the old ways must be replaced with new ones.
HOW ONE HOMOSEXUAL CHANGED
A homosexual male, an actor, who eventually settled in New York city, tells how he made the change. This man was thoroughly homosexual. Let him explain the about-face he has made and the effort on his part that has been involved:
"I had been a homosexual since the age of eight; by the time I was twenty-three years old I came to be in absolute, unquestioned servitude to my flesh. Like many homosexuals I tried to salve my conscience and the seriousness of my immorality by saying, as do many sophisticates of this world, that I was 'gay.' But the simple truth of the matter is I was a pervert. I can still recall at least 150 males with whom I repeatedly engaged in every kind of sexual perversion. I do not say this to try to excite or 'turn on' anyone who may have homosexual tendencies but to illustrate the level to which I had fallen. Actually, by the gay world's standards, I might have been considered only a moderate homosexual since I engaged in immorality with less than three different men each day.
"Secretly I knew that my homosexuality was wrong. And when, a few years ago, I was invited to a meeting of Jehovah's witnesses, I began to reinforce this conviction about the error of the homosexual course. Additionally, I liked what I heard from the Witnesses. The idea of living forever in a paradise earth really appealed to me. It was so pleasant, so relieving. I had always wondered why the world is the way it is, with so much hate, greed and selfishness in it. I wondered what hope there was for the future. Jehovah's witnesses gave me the answers. But even at that I did not immediately change my homosexual way of life; I knew that would be difficult, as I enjoyed it very much. Further, I was continuing my acting career, including taping my TV shows. I was making a lot of money and that, too, would not be easy to give up.
"However, in 1969 I was working in New York city and went to the 'Peace on Earth' Assembly of Jehovah's witnesses at Yankee Stadium. During the concluding remarks I was really brought face to face with reality. The speaker directed his remarks to those who were not Jehovah's Witnesses, saying: 'You know you want to be in God's new order. So why don't you come along with us, and gain life in that new order?' The simple truth of those words hit home. I did want life. I did love Jehovah's people. From that moment on I began to make changes in my life. It was a question of either serving Jehovah and living or staying `gay' and dying.
"To say that from then on I never had a homosexual experience again would really sound nice. But, unfortunately, it would be a lie. I did slip after that. But I did not give up. I detested what I had done and made a firmer resolve that I would not repeat the immorality again. Few persons probably can ever appreciate the fight I had-the terrible agony, day and night, as the 'flesh' cried out for satisfaction sexually. In time I won the fight, but not in my own strength. Continually I went to God in prayer and asked for his help, and he did help me. However, I took action in harmony with my prayers.
"I resigned from all acting engagements, even though it meant giving up many material comforts and much public exposure as an actor. I realized that the atmosphere in the field of acting is simply not conducive to practicing true Christianity or any decent morality. In time I completely left off all homosexual practices and was accepted for baptism by Jehovah's witnesses.
"In the meantime I have married a fine Christian woman, and we enjoy true happiness and contentment in Jehovah's wonderful marital arrangement. Also, I am a ministerial servant in one of the congregations of Jehovah's witnesses. But particularly what brings me pleasure is that I now have a clean conscience, and I know that I am living a life that is pleasing to Almighty God."
ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE TO CHANGE