I really can understand that, what I would really like to know from you, and I mean this respectfully is do you feel a more complete person now in your conclusion
Absolutely. I can accept all of me, instead of trying to suppress who I am. There is no cosmic balance sheet, or person in my brain weighing my every motivation. In fact, this is the most complete I have felt in my entire life. It took a lot of work to suppress my curiosity and critical thinking. Now I've given myself permission to experience all of me, and it is a great relief.
I sometimes feel when I read your posts that you are very angry at what some posters believe,
Sometimes there is anger, but maybe not for the reasons you think. I had just watched several friendships (real friendships) be torn apart because of the way that believers were motivated. It did make me angry. I also get angry because I live in an area where religious people are gaining political power and trying to enforce their moral code on all, while denying civil rights to others. I also get angry when I witness children being held in ignorance because of their parents. It angered me to watch the video of that Muslim woman being shot to death for 'adultery' (details unclear) while the crowd smiled and praised their god. I see an awful lot of negatives, even among the more liberal believers. But watching friendships disintegrate put me in an especially bad mood.
I also got irked when some very personal things were said about me, to make points, and to watch other defend that. If God speaks---no holds barred.
I guess I just find aetheists to be very confrontational and accusing - quick to condemn, did you change once you realised/accepted/reasoned there was no god, or did it make you a more in a way angry because of your conclusion.
I'm sure there is some of that. Impatience maybe. But the narrative seems to be that atheists are always the aggressive ones, and the believers are the vicitims of our wrath. This simply is not true. I have been called quite a few names by believers, but this is brushed off. I don't call names. Many insults are delivered in a candy coated wrapping---passive/aggressive---which gives the other person plausible deniablity. I do tend to be direct, and that can sound hostile. But you don't have to guess. I say what I mean, and I accept it can put some people off. I will not wrap up like a gift and then demand you thank me for it. Take some time---break down some of the comments---reevaluate them. I think you may learn some things that you didn't see at first. I see them, because I am often on the receiving end so often---you kind of develop a sense. Anyway. It's there.
And also---I have been told by a number of people, in RL, that I am going to burn forever in hell. Even strangers, empowered by their beliefs, feel they have the right to threaten me, a stranger, with eternal torment. So I won't deny the anger---but take a look and see how it is playing out.
I'm not sure how an atheist that speaks out can avoid confrontation. Think about it. People were much happier when we stayed quiet---because our ideas ARE confrontational. There is no way around that. We are 'confronting' the beliefs of the majority. Because we tend to be direct (at least from what I have seen) it can feel like an attack. For a believer, they are emotionally married to their beliefs---confront their beliefs and you confront them.
But there are times when some things can be toned down, and I and others don't always choose to do it. Frustration is my prevailing emotion--not anger. I'm sure they sound the same in a post.
NC
