by Diest 15 Replies latest jw friends
After I read this article on Slate.com about a dating coach for ex-hasidic women, I thought this would be a great job for ex-dubs. I see a lot of the same dating issues in the posts I read and even in my own life.
I don't know who would take up the job but it seems like it could be interesting. Help born-ins understand the intracacies of dating and relationships in the real world.
Tell me your thoughts on the article and a coach for the dubs.
I know sparlock is exciting, but I thought this was interesting.
JW men are in desparate need of coaching in the art of.....talking. The sisters used to ask me to give lessons. I rememeber walking around at Dodger stadium for the DA. Usually a few of us young single brothers. If we saw some sisters I would walk over and introduce myself. The other bro's would practically pee in their pants. I never understood it but I wasn't born in
This was so neat to read! I need one, even thought I'm married, so I can learn how to small talk.
Wha happened - that is so cool you'd go introduce yourself to girls. None of the guys around here would do that, the girls had to pursue them. We're socially stunted.
A girl I am dating told me about my misteps that I was making in the dating process....ie sharing too much info about past dates and a few other things. When I explained that I never dated until my early 20s it started to make sense for her. She had been dating since 13 so the mistakes I was making were still ameteur mistakes.
| A girl I am dating told me about my misteps that I was making in the dating process....ie sharing too much info about past dates and a few other things. When I explained that I never dated until my early 20s it started to make sense for her. She had been dating since 13 so the mistakes I was making were still ameteur mistakes. | |
| Diest |
I believe,that horrible, Watchtower-sponsored dating arrangement differs greatly from those not part of them. Thus, when Ex-JWs leaves this cult, its all like starting from zero, learning all those new dating tricks, texting, email, calls, visits, as well as kissing. Its kind of new experiences in a free, non- Watchtower controlled world. I would not be surprised, misunderstandings are an unvoidable part of that social interaction.
Scott77
In some ways haveing been a JW helps as we are used to talking to strangers and drawing them out.
Ive been on a dateing site for a while and have no problem talking to women i meet ,co's lets face it did'nt we do that all the time talk to strangers?
Karter.
Talking is very different from interacting on a social level. Not to mention all I did when I went out in service was try to avoid talking.
Talking is very different from interacting on a social level. Not to mention all I did when I went out in service was try to avoid talking.
I was also a quiet JW who avoided talking too.
This weekend I went to a bar with some friends and totally froze when a guy started talking to me. It was like I went back to the JW mentality of avoiding talking with worldly men in case they're trying to get in my pants or something. Totally clueless and socially awkward.
How does one improve their social skills? I feel like I missed out on 15 years of crucial social development!
You just have to actively try to change your thinking. When you have that thought of...oo I cant talk to them, go a head and and go the other way and have a nice converstion.
I remember being outside on the streets during the new years count down a few years back and I got grabbed by the back of the neck by a girl and I automatically pulled away. It was untill later that I realized she was going in for a kiss and I was just a dumb ass.
