If you were raised in a home with a JW parent and a non-JW parent: a few questions

by Lady Lee 43 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Lady Lee

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  I resent that my JW parent used this religion as a way to control me, while at the same time some how pacifying their gult for being a lousy parent - if they force their kids to be good JW's this will somehow be their golden ticket with Jehovah and make all their bad parenting okay.

  Wow I could have easily written that. I know many here can relate to it very well.
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  celticdog2569

  After reading this thread it opened my eyes to something I never thought of before.I realized that my daughter(who is 7years old) is feeling sad that I wont make it through amagedon.Thanks ,now I will have to play it smart when she gets older and starts to ask questions.My parents and my brothers kid of fell away at the same time so I never really thought of this issue.Cheers
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  Heaven

  I apologize Lady Lee as I had not seen this thread until now.

  Neither one of my parents were technically JWs until well after we kids all grew up but it was my Mother who was interested in it as her Father had converted from Catholicism to JW in the 1950s. I am not sure if you can consider my answers because my parents were not baptized until after we children had grown up and moved out. My Mom did not really go out in service nor did they attend the Kingdom Hall regularly. When I was little, the book studies were done in our home on Sundays. Mom used to also do readings with us after lunch on weekdays, before we went back to school for the afternoon. When I was little, my Dad did not like religion.

  At any rate, for what they are worth, my answers are:

  1. Was your non-JW parent ever a JW? Yes, my Father decided to get baptized after he retired. This was after I had grown up and left home. My Father actually got baptized before my Mother. But she was the one who brought it into our family and kept at it.
  2. Who was responsible for your religious upbringing?The JW or the non-JW? The 'JW' (my Mother).
  3. Did they argue about it? Not that I am aware of. Although, my Mother did tell me that my Father told her when I was very young that her place was in the home with the children and not at the Kingdom Hall. She wanted to attend the meetings and he did not allow her to. I think he saved us children.
  4. Were you forced to go? No.
  5. Did the non-JW parent have any real say in how the family celebrated holidays? At first, yes. We used to celebrate the holidays and birthdays when I was younger. As we got older, these gradually stopped.
  6. Over all what impact did this split household have on your childhood and even later in life? I believe that my Father's dislike of religion actually helped to save us children from getting sucked in. My Mother also believed we were to be adults, like Jesus, before we should make any baptismal decisions. My parent's marriage began to have problems as I moved into my teen years. My older brother turned to substance abuse. I learned to keep things from my parents. In later years, after our parents got baptized, they became increasingly hostile and mean-spirited towards us. My Mother had smoked herself into the chronic health condition called COPD. She died about 11 years after her initial collapse. My Father alienated himself from my younger brother and his family due to a disagreement about moving my ailing Mother, with 20-30% lung capacity, into a dirty, dusty, moldy, musty old farmhouse. My brother would not allow it and my Father was very angered by this.
  7. What would you want therapists to know about your situation? I am not exactly sure. I must struggle every day to not be a judgmental person. I have enormous trust issues and I feel disconnected from everything much of the time.
  8. Any other thoughts? The JWs in my family are on my Mom's side. As far as I know, there are none on my Dad's side. The JWs really have nothing to do with those of use who are non-JW except at funerals. I would like to see the legal system remove the destructiveness of groups like the JWs.
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  Tylinbrando

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