Need some advice

by craigulous 13 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  HayDay

  I was in the same situation, although I'm not married. I faded for about 2 years then I had a burst of philisophical inspiration and decided to tell everyone whom I was friends with as a JW what my new goals and identity were. I did. I've never felt so good and complete, and most importantly honest with myself. I've been shunned and even understood by some of my past associates and I feel liberated and free to live my life. You will see where your true friends are. It takes guts and a strong resolve to do it.

  "It's better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you're not" -Curt Cobain
• 

  mind blown

  I have empathy for you..

  I personally believe senior JWs have believed for so long, it would shatter them not to live the lie, and or not associate with their child (unless they are easy going) which I don't think they are becasue of your fear of losig them.

  Many families even in the world as Billy X mentioned stay away from certain topics for family peace, it's worth it. Unless you're involved in a project that could potentially out you.....why do it if the sacrafice is that great? If you can reason with your self you're side stepping out of love for your parents, it's easier to deal with.

  The only true freedom is being away from that nasty WTS who enslaves people.

  But if you must, I'd DA yourself, for some reason I personally feel it's better for two reason. DF always has a more negative connotation and when you DA you did it on your terms.

  I still say mums the word, sometimes we are our own worst enimies......
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  craigulous

  Thank you everyone for the words of advice and wisdom, it is appreciated. My parents and brother are they only ones from the JW'S that I am in association with. I have been away for over twenty years, so mine is not a recent fade, nor one in progress. My situation is that I feel that I still have to live a lie around my parents, I must stifle my true self. I struggle with the fact that it is ok for them to talk about there spiritual life, but mine is offensive to them. Mine must be squashed in order to not offend there faith. I have a lot to think about.
• 

  mrhhome

  I am curious. What did you decide to do?

  My question is this. Why are you still playing by their rules? If you DA, you are still just playing by their rules.

  My advice: Just ignore them.

  I suspect that your parents do not want to shun you. They probably suspect the truth but are looking the other way.

  I'll use this anology. When I was in college, I came home for a Holiday. My Baptist mother found a condom in a jacket pocket and confronted me about it. I told her that I was holding it for a friend at a bar who had no pockets and forgot about it. Lamest lie ever. She knew it was a lie. I knew that she knew it was a lie, but truth-be-told, she didn't want to hear the truth anymore than I wanted to discuss my sexual relationships with her. Of course, I also asked her why she was going through my pockets, and she dropped the subject quickly.

  I can assure you. The DA issue has caused my wife and her family a great deal of pain over the years.