In love with a JW...

by CuriousUK 156 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  jamiebowers

  Here is an experience of a man becoming a jw in order to marry the so-called love of his life...I'll let his story speak for itself:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/222940/1/My-Experience

  I also got baptized in order to marry a jw man who seemed so sweet and caring. We weren't married a month before he started hitting me. Eventually this evolved into kicking, strangulation, him driving into oncoming traffic...anything to terrorize me. As a jw woman or child, you are strongly discouraged from involving the police in cases of domestic violence and even child molestatiom...I can cite cases to you if you can't find them with Google. But my jw husband was so crazy that his doctors had him forcibly committed to mental wards twice throughout our six and a half year marriage. Despite the rulings of doctors and judges that he was a real threat to my life, the elders insisted I either stay in the marriage or stalk him long enough to determine whether he would commit adultery or murder. You see, there is no remarriage in the Watchtower cult unless adultery is proven; therefore giving the abuser continued control over his victim. I made a false confesson of adultery, divorced him and was disfellowshipped for my trouble. As a result, with the exception of a few requests for family medcal history, I've been shunned by my jw mom for almost 25 years. My brother shunned me for 18 years, but we reaquainted after he too left the cult.

  Is this really the type of thing in which you want to be involved? Run, don't walk, my dear. If he wants out of the cult, he needs to take those steps himself. If he does leave, require him to get specialized therapy. Even then, if I were you, I'd also have him sign a pre-nup regarding finances and custody of any future children. Instead of thinking about what you would have to do to be with him, start thinking about the things he should be doing to be with you.
• 

  Black Sheep

  Another odd thing I saw a few times while in the organization. Sometimes a young man leaves the Org, too hard, to many rules, likes the world. He finds a girl he likes, marries her, goes back in the Org.

  This is very common. The return to the church is often triggered by the thought of their offspring being killed at Armageddon.

  The doctrine has it that at least one parent has to be a practicing, preaching, JW in good standing or their loving god, Jehovah, will kill them at Armageddon, which is coming SOOON, like within the next few months, maybe years, but certainly not decades.

  If you marry a JW, but are not a believer, you are a threat to their children's survival into everlasting life in a paradise of vegetarian lions.
• 

  mind blown

  First off welcome and hello

  CuriousUk, you have gained a lot of interest by authentic concerned ones! Within 18 hours, 5 pages 1372 views, should tell you something!

  You will be expected to go door to door talking about the Watchtower, and if you don't, you will be viewed as a loser/weak witness and the other snobs in the congregation will look down on you and not associate with you (until you make, what the call progress). Then you will have to study for all your meetings, so forget extra fun time. Then you will have to sing lame songs at the Kingdom Hall. OMG I remember that song "From House To House, From Door To Door" ...blahhhh....I used to hate that song!!! But most of all mouthy gave the best info of all, FORGET HAVING AN AWESOME SEX LIFE! You will eventually get bored and most likely disfellowshiped, then your huband will give you grief because you don't believe as him anymore. Oh and you'll have to dress like a stepford wife.
• 

  dm6

  www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw1Vg8HsMK4&feature=endscreen&NR=1

  Here is everything you need to know.
• 

  Chariklo

  Oh and you'll have to dress like a stepford wife.

  Well done, Mind Blown. I thought of Stepford wives last night. JW women don't just dress like them. They behave like them. Their houses are purr-fect. Gardens too. Right down to the plates of cookies and the "yes dear, no dear". I could name you several here.

  DM6, that's a wonderful video, says it all; I especially enjoyed the glee on Jesus' face as he reclines on his throne at the end, revelling in all that lovely justice and destruction he meted out, remembering the screams of terror. They deserved it, right?
• 

  CuriousUK

  Hi all - back again! Again, many thanks for the fascinating replies...

  Can't find the exact post, but I just wanted to clarify that I am completely genuine in my question here. I know it may seem odd that I describe this man as my soulmate, and that I love him so much, after such a short time together. I am a sane, rational human being that never would believe in love at first sight, but that is what happened. I knew within five minutes of meeting that I needed this guy in my life, somehow... I hope that helps to allay any fears that I'm not being real about this. It's hard to explain, but we never really left each other, despite the no contact. And for those three weeks, I had an amazing non JW time with him.

  So, to update, I have sent him an email with my more practical questions, about my job and how he sees our life together being practically... I'm going to build up to the more spiritual ones once I get his first replies....

  I've got 9 more posts today, and I am amazingly appreciative of all the advice and help so far - I am amazed that so many people have read this topic and been willing to share their stories.

  Regards
• 

  sammielee24

  Just an add on - when you ask a JW why or if they shun disfellowshipped ones - they will often look you in the eye and lie and tell you they don't. One Sister actually told me that she had never even heard of the word - gasp. Now considering who she was at the door talking to, I called her out on it and she took the hand of her other Sister and ran down the hill.

  As for the comment from a poster about people not committing to a marriage - I say that's bunk.

  The problem with a great many people who remain in bad marriages, is the fact that others judge or condemn them if they leave or entertain the thought of leaving, when in reality, you have A LIFE. That life is not for the person on the corner to judge - it is yours to live. You may marry in sickness and in health - and I think those words should be taken out of a committment ceremony - but if one person in the relationship is a sick abusive person, you have no obligation to sit with them for the next 50 years trying to fix them or prop them up. There is far too much judgement passed on people who leave a bad relationship...those people who believe judgement is their fundamental right, should move to support and help those left behind who very well might be the root cause of the problem. sammies
• 

  N.drew

  May I speak on the posters behalf? I understood his post to mean do not go into the marriage with the thought of separation. And I agree. I do not think it is fair to assume he meant to stay in a marriage that becomes hurtful. If a relationship becomes hurtful then it is time to think about a separation, not before. The freedom to separate carelessly can become a power to cause one to stray, imo.
• 

  blond-moment

  I would rather marry a drug addict, they only have a monkey (singular) on their back. JWs have gorillas (plural).

  With a drug addict, they are the problem, with JWs YOU are the problem, and these gorillas, will do whatever it takes to make you NOT the problem any more. Either push you out, indoctrinate you, pressure pressure pressure. Either run now, or cave in, suffer, lose years of your life, and run later, either way is gonna hurt.

  I personally prefer the, rip the band-aid off quickly route myself.
• 

  james_woods

  I would just like to say that I think CuriousUK seems like a very nice person.

  Unfortunately, I am getting a very bad feeling about what is going to happen with this relationship.