by MsGrowingGirl20 34 Replies latest forum tech-support
@heartofaboy
back in my day the unwritten "rule" about courting in the troof was---no sexual intercourse. i know several of my peers who engaged in heavy petting-as indeed we did. it was only at a big assembly in the UK--in 1968--we were on our honeymoon---there was a major talk--and a drama--about premarital "fooling around". red faces time.
i know many jw marriages that failed in the early years--but to be honest--probably no more than average.
Designs, you always conflate Christianity with JW-ism. I think that's unfortunate.
My regret? Mostly that the arc of a family, beginning with an immigrant on a hardscrabble farm 100 years ago and advancing pretty well until some knucklehead joined the JWs, was set back by a generation. I'm living now the way my father should have been living and providing the educational and social opportunities for my children that he should have been providing for his. Most families don't have so many sons that they can afford to have them opt out of the entire project of living.
My deepest regret regarding JWism is how long I stayed in out of fear and guilt. I converted (as an adult) around 1992 and by 1996 I was burnt out on it completely. But I also had completely internalized their 'if you struggle or doubt anything, you're the problem' line. I stayed in until 2002, and by that time I was a complete freaking mental case from it.
Learning from every experience in life-good or bad- is my goal. But.... I find that there are a few things that I just can't take back from those days:
1. Told on some friends who were engaging in 'immoral conduct' that resulted in one of them being disfellowshipped. At the time, it was 'keeping the congregation clean'. I feel horrible about that now-still.
2. Didn't get a college education. My oldest son is in college now and the younger one will go also. It's a requirement of ours as their parents for them to do better then we did.
3. Shunned my aunt who had left and joined a new religion. We have since reunited and put the past behind us but the time we were apart can't be returned to us. Damn, Stupid JW's separating families. Shameful!!
4. Can't share with my mom why I left because it would force her to choose the JW's or me. I would NEVER want to put her in that position.
Having now to play "catch up" in preparation for retirement and old age. Should of went to college, should of worked at my career as if the future depended on it, should of stayed with a worldly girl that I was crazy about, should of, should of, should of.......all we can do now is move on making the best of and improve if we can whatever circumstance we find ourselves in. Enjoy life.
