Despite being in a major metropolitan area with numerous congregations, even multiple congregations sharing KHalls, there is a shortage of men willing to reach out and "serve". I repeatedly see young guys (can't really call 'em men) in their late 20s being appointed as elders. Then the WT Study tells pubs to seek out these "older men" with years of experience for counsel about life's anxieties and struggles. WTF?
A 27yo new elder's life experience:
Birth to 3 -- sucking tit, potty training, crawling to walking, being lugged out D2D
5 to 10 -- A,B,C's, multiplication tables, riding a bike, taking out the trash, D2D, unbapt pub
11 - 13 -- GENITALS and the opposite sex, (there ain't nothing else he's gonna notice now), D2D as long as it's not in territory with school friends
13 - 18 -- masturbation, downloading porn, and the opposite sex, (feeling up some chick if he's not too goody goody, hiding the sausage if he's naughty naughty) and getting dunked at some point of time in there, walking the mics, D2D as long as it's not in territory with the girlie he's doing the nasty with, getting driver's license (decision on 4-door junker for service appearance or 2 door chick magnet), sneaking Dad's booze and getting shit-faced first time,
19 - 21 -- walking the mics, recommended as MS, masturbation isn't satisfying anymore, esp if he's been doing the naughty naughty already, so he finds some starry eyed JW girl to marry, and typically knocks her up the first year, if not the first night (with that 2 second premature ejaculate if he wasn't in the naughty naughty world already), D2D even tho he hates it and is tired on his @$$ on Sat morning after the cleaning job late Friday night and drinking a 12-pack of cheap beer out fishing or hunting if he can justify missing D2D
22 - 25 -- walking the mics, dumped on with more BS MS assignments, downloading porn and masturbating since his wife is too tired taking care of the 3 kids (2 more as a result of the anniversary boinks he got), tired of hearing the complaining that they need some place bigger than this apartment or mobile home, not as much D2D since he can count 4 hours with the kiddos, and blame them for being sick and/or cranky on Sat morns
25 - 26 -- walking the mics, excels in MS assignments since there is no other reward in life, plus wifey often says home with kids since she's tired of taking care of them all by herself so he can run the mics or the sound or check the parking lot or stand in the back of the KHall a schmooze with elder that uses him to sub for parts he cannot get up, so he has more freedom to do things at the KH, and spends a lot more time "studying late on the computer" since wife goes to bed dead@$$ tired anyway and has put on 50 pounds anyway, love D2D on Sat mornings just to get out of the f&%$ing house and get away from the bitchy wife and whining kids, that plus the exaggerated 10-15 hrs spent in FS (at Starbucks) makes him look like a spiritual Giant
27 -- Dear Brother Exemplary, is there any reason why you cannot serve as Elder in the Congo?
27yrs 10 minutes -- Every other burnt out Elder tries to unload something onto him and he cannot and will not say NO
27yrs 1 month -- Head gets huge, ego out of control when he reads WT article cited above reinforcing how wise and experienced he is.
28 -- Cir Assm parts (if he has ANY speaking ability whatsoever), otherwise just sits jealous and disgruntled that all he gets is parking lot attendant responsibility and everyone else gets speaking assignments
30 -- Dist Conv assignments (if he has ANY speaking ability whatsoever and has sucked up enough to CO -- helps if he gets money from family inheritance), otherwise just sits jealous and disgruntled and bitches with other Class II Elders about only getting parking lot and bathroom cleaning assignments while the Golden Boys get all the Limelight
It's a Spiritual Paradise.
DOC
