Suicide yes, I have concidered it.

by Shane 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Shane
    Shane

    Why would I want such a thing:
    I am lonely, and I know that most of the women who are JW's are concerned with them selves they want rich men with flashy clothes.
    Women who want prestige in the congregation saying look I got an Elder for a husband see how he is taking the lead in my family in all things and giving talks at the assembles, I show him respect as man only because he has earned it in the fashion of a bride price.
    Thus the above relates to me to the extent my ex-wife got me to believe in all this negative crap, that I as a man was unworthy of God and my fellow members if I don't size up to all the religious do's and Don'ts.
    Depression oh yeah I am that just like Toy's R. US, traumatic brain injury then my a wonderful wife in good standing in the holy witness congregation of twenty-one years, dumps my sorry ass saying Gee you have changed too much. Like Duh, you have large portion of your brain stabbed and gouged from skull fragments and see if it does not confuse you or contribute to depressing you dear, of course no response she just goes and marries a known child molester of the congregation who then attempts it on my twelve year old daughter.
    Oh there's is much more so crazy you would think I was making it up, but who gives a flying crap, huh.
    ~Shane

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Life isn't always fair, nor is it perfect. I have gone through several traumas in life, most of which I haven't shared on this board.

    I don't have any words of wisdom to say just now, but if you need to vent or just have a shoulder to cry on, my email is open.

  • avengers
    avengers
    see how he is taking the lead in my family in all things and giving talks at the assembles, I show him respect as man only because he has earned it in the fashion of a bride price.
    Thus the above relates to me to the extent my ex-wife got me to believe in all this negative crap, that I as a man was unworthy of God and my fellow members if I don't size up to all the religious do's and Don'ts.

    Sounds like my situation. Wear a suit, hold speeches, hang out with the elders, then you're respectable. Can't do it any longer.
    I did have the thought of suicide in mind when I was a J Dubb. Since I left this despicable (b)Organization, all suicide tendencies flew away. Sound familiar? I know of more similar situations. This borganization should be fully investigated for inciting to suicide?

    Truth cannot be changed. Man's understanding of truth however, can!

  • DazedAndConfused
    DazedAndConfused

    I will admit that while I "was in" the Org. I never considered suicide. However since being ousted and shunned I have been hospitalised at lest 3 times for attempted suicide. Now many JW's that read this may think to themselves ... "See, there is nothing that can make you happier than being in "God's true Org". But I beg to differ.

    First off...of course being in "the Borg" suicidal thoughts would not be a consideration since we were taught that ANYONE considering this would NOT be resurrected. OK, with this in mind, who is to say who truly considered suicide or not? I mean, I MUST have thought about suicide otherwise the thought of no resurrection for those that did commit suicide would not attain everlasting life or resurection for that matter. Funny how the mind works.

    After being "ousted" and having, what I thought were good friends, being totally denied as a good person I did try to commit suicide. In fact it has bee at least 3 times. I say at least because it was at least 3 times that I was hospitalised for it.

    What I have learned is that if anyone that has half an ounce of what is called "life preservation" rather than the thought that our lives are dictated by the thoughts of others...we can overcome this.

    What happens with a "cult" or organization that makes us believe one way, despite rationale, we tend to lose ourselves in the process.

    DON'T LET THEM DO THIS TO YOU!!!!!

  • patio34
    patio34

    Hi Shane & Dazed and Confused,

    I'm sorry for the pain that you have. But i saw a saying recently in a book that meant a lot to me so i hope you don't mind my sharing it. Nor do i mean to be trite and glib.

    Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

    This seems to be true in most instances. Things change. I know i've been thru traumas where suicide occurred to me unbidden. But either my attitude changed or the situation eased up.

    All the best,
    Pat

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Universal truth #1:You can't truly escape unless you can enjoy the fruits of freedom afterwards.

    Get counseling, and find a friend who lives close to you. Go back to school, and improve your lot. It always gets better.

    ashi

  • Celia
    Celia
    she just goes and marries a known child molester of the congregation who then attempts it on my twelve year old daughter.

    Is your daughter safe now ?
    Gosh as a mother I would dump the sob so fast, and also go to the police...
    Did your ex do that ?

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy

    Hi Shane, Glad you didn't.
    I'm glad I didn't either.
    I was once in a frame of mind that believed I didn't because I was to weak.
    I convinced myself I wasn't worthy, allowed myself to believe it, andthought it was weakness that kept me from going through with killing myself. Bad frame of mind to be in. The fact is I didn't kill myself because I am and was a whole lot stronger then I gave myself credit for and so are you. You have to weed out the negitive crap and tell yourself every day you are a worth while person. And for Gods Sake Stay Away From Negitive People Whom Ever They May Be!
    Best wishes to you. plmkrzy

  • Frenchy
    Frenchy

    Both my father and my younger brother committed suicide, both died younger than I am. I have fought that feeling, that urge for quite some time now.

    I have never been a happy person and find little joy in life. I do have people who depend heavily on me and that has been a great deterrent in dealing with my urgings.

    So many times there is really little that can be said but I wish only to point out what has worked for me. Find a reason for continuing.

    Life is far too wondrous and complex to be without purpose, there has to be something to all of this. Ride it out.

    I was vacationing in Jamaica one year and we took a ride on a raft and the guide began pitching his gourds. He told us that the company allowed them to do this as part of their compensation. When I asked him how much he wanted for them he smiled and said: "Whatever you wish. I know you will take care of me at the end of the ride." As soon as he said it I had a strange feeling that he had touched on something far grander than a raft ride or the sale of gourds. I cannot forget that humble man's words.

    So I will stay for the ride until it is over or at least until it becomes so unbearable that I can no longer take the pain. I believe there is something at the end of this life.

  • tyydyy
    tyydyy

    I know there are clinical reasons for depression but there are things you can do for yourself too.

    Our society shows us that people become famous and accomplish great things at an early age. Almost all famous people are young. It's easy to buy into that and think that you have wasted your youth and it's all downhill from here. Wrong!! When you think about the greatest people in your life most likely you'll think of someone older than yourself. Do you know everything that happened to them or that they did to others when they were younger? Probably not. Keep in mind that the feelings you have now can help someone else. Someone who can help someone else. Keep in mind that you have a unique perspective that most "successful" people don't. You have the ability to reach people and help them that even the best psycologist doesn't.

    All of you who may be suffering from depression or feelings of worthlessness.....Stick around....we really do need you.

    TimB

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