by marriedtoajw 25 Replies latest jw friends
The chapter "Interacting with Dual Identities" in "Releasing the Bonds" is a MUST read, and MUST understand, and MUST use.
It would explain the inconsistency and damage to mental health caused by prolonged "cognitive dissonance".
To find peace she has to change either her behaviour or her core beliefs so that they are again in sync.
Check your PM's marriedtoajw!!
My Dad was never a JW ,but my Mom was ..... He allowed her to teach the children her religion, and to indoctrinate us even though he thought it was a cullt .
He now blames himself for being weak, and allowing this religion to break up his family . He has seen the harm the Jehovah's Witness religion has caused his own children over the years .
His oldest son was baptised at 16 ,then at 18 lost interest and joined the Military . The Elders announced at the Kingdom Hall that this son was 'Disassociated' .The internal newsletter called the Kingdom Ministry counseled members to sever ties with such ones even with in your own family to shun them . This meant my Mother cut her own son off from normal family activity . This tore her up inside ,but she believed it was what God required of her to be loyal . This shunning policy does not have a time limit it goes on for life ! My Mom missed her sons wedding , birth of her granddaughter and other major events because the Watchtower corparation said it had authority from Jehovah God to lead and feed his people . My Mother died at age 72 ,my brother was 52 at that time .....he felt his REAL mother had died yrs ago . My Father watched the aftermath as I came to my senses and left the religion a few yrs ago . He has seen as my other Brother a baptised JW stop associating with me or my children because I walked away from his faith . We can not have a family dinner because this son and his family will not eat with my family or my disassociated brothers family . My Dad has seen my lifetime of 'friends' turn away from me because I no longer wish to attend the Kingdom Hall . My non Witness Father who is in his 80's cares for my disabled sister who has lived with him her whole life . She also is a baptised JW . Now that she is homebound her Witness "friends' have dried up and seldom come to check on her . She will not sit in on family gatherings with my older brother still to this day . Even though she is not active the inculcated JW teachings continue to poison her natural ability to persue family affection . My Father staed to me not to long ago he wished he had put his foot down years ago when my Mother first got involved with the Jehovah's Witnesses . He wishes he could turn back time and save his family the heartache it has indured because of this religion . PLEASE SAVE YOUR FAMILY THIS KIND OF FATE ........YOUR CHILDREN DESERVE TO BE HAPPY MAKE SURE YOU ALLOW THEM TO REMAIN FREE
Troubledmind, your story is so sad. And altogether too familiar amongst ex-Witnesses. The boyfriend of a friend of mine (Rob) has an ex-wife who became a Witness and is raising their two young kids to be Witnesses. Rob's ex moved 100 miles away with the kids so he only sees them every other weekend. I'm thinking of talking to him about trying to get them more often because the poor guy has no idea that his ex will be raising those kids to see their father as 'part of Satan's world' and will probably have very little to do with him when they grow up.
When Gumby's hypocritial family helped him get re-instated, (even though they knew he was an 'apostate'), they assured him that once in, he could do The Fade again, and they would still be able to socialize with him. Of course, once he was back in, their story changed and his creepy son-in-law told him to his face that they only said that because they figured he would re-embrace their bullshit once he was back in and under no circumstances would Gumby be allowed to see his grandkids if he stopped attending the meetings. The lot of them make me sick.
Mouthy does not see her daughter, her granddaughter or her great-granddaughter who are all in Montreal (I think). Even though the granddaughter got pregnant out of wedlock (still a big no-no in WT world) and is living with a guy, she also won't have anything to do with her grandmother because she's an "apostate" (although she has no problem accepting $$$ from Mouthy).
What a screwed up cult.
I think that this book has been recommended many times on this site as a useful tool to help strengthen one's children against cult indoctrination...
http://books.google.com/books/about/Teach_Your_Child_How_To_Think_Rei.html?id=s3hnPgAACAAJ
And speaking of cult indoctrination...
Depending on the childrens' ages and comprehension levels, you might suggest that they check out some books on cults.
Better yet, read up on the subject yourself and then if they are interested in your reading matter, suggest the books that you found most helpful.
A few quiet discussions about the damage that cults can do to peoples' lives, after said books are read, could be in order too...
Of course, wifey will have to be kept in the dark about the new reading matter - initially.
People have given you some excellent advice here. Please don't throw out the "baby with the bathwater"; no one literally suggested - or is suggesting - that you advocate a lack of respect for your wife...
However, I wouldn't be surprised if your respect for your wife has diminished over the years as you've watched her 'flip-flop' behavior and cyclic loyalties to the cult...
Zid
Coming back here once in a blue moon, there'll be a post or thread that will catch my eye. This one certainly did. The follow-up messages are great, supportive and informative.
Forums like this, are certainly helpful and come from people who KNOW! the JW mindset in all its complexities. We should be grateful that it exists, regardless of its friends and enemies.
My only hope is that this person gets the information necessary to combat this 'temporary insanity'; or long term insanity depending upon how long this activity continues. If anything, it's the children that really suffer; as I have seen from the follow-up posts and stories. So heartbreaking.
Nice to see such enthusiastic support.
