JWs Depression and Suicide (page 2)

NewChapter

I personally have not had to be treated for depression or panic attacks since walking away. Within a year of my baptism, I was put on anti-depressants, had my first panic attacks, and regularly experienced suicidal feelings. I remained that way for 20 years. I never did enough, was never assured of god's love, every decision, every action, every word had to be scrutinized for motive. Was it good or evil, had I committed an unforgivable sin, woud I make it all the way to armegeddon only to be told "you didn't do enough!" When I should have been resting, I was in service. When I should have been recharging, I was forced out after a long day of work, into the snow or whatever to sit in a room full of people with a program that constantly reminded me how far short I fell.

Miserable. Today, no anti depressants and no panic attacks. I am so much calmer, it's amazing. Every pioneer I knew was either on antidepressants or expressing deep depression, anxiety or obsessive compulsive behavior. I was so used to seeing pioneers with tears in their eyes, I just accepted it as normal. Proof that we were in the last days.

Bastards.

NC

TheClarinetist

I have met someone who while they were in experienced hallucinations to the point that at one point they thought that they had murdered their entire family. They were diagnosed schitzo-affective, or whatever they call it these days, and shortly after leaving the Lie the symptoms disappeared entirely.

3rdgen

To NC, I always enjoy your posts and as usual agree 100%. I'm looking forward to being able(like you) to ditch the anti-depressants. To Ndrew, My young adult son died a few years ago in an accident. My daughter is now an only child. She left the Org before I did and lives a long distance away. She was a mess while in but now is happy and succesful. :)

N.drew

I'm sorry (((((((3rdgen))))))) But I'm happy about your daughter! And never forget we all are or were a mess sometime in our lives. I can't prove it, but i think it is true!

Found Sheep

Well... the last sad story I heard was in my brothers hall. A MS with a wife and kids. They never did know what made him get that depressed. He wasn't being treated for depression. One thing my brother said that really made me mad!!! I said I feel so bad for HIM. Can you imagine how horrable he must have felt to do that? My brother said I don't think about HIM at all how selfish to leave his family that way...

On the same topic a few years ago there was that awake on suicide and I made a coment that it said "seceed" suicide and it should always say "complete" suicide. He just said what are you questioning the GB?

And I will add most of the time I was 1/2 suicidal - happy to say since I left my demond left too

Chemical Emotions

Although I know more JWs than nonJWs, and although I have met a few nonJWs who have had depression or seemed depressed, I have known, or at least met MANY JWs who were depresses, uch more than nonJWs, it seems.

A few weeks ago I heard a talk at my KH. It wasn't a great one, of course, but I noticed that the speaker emphasized that 1) a lot of JWs get depressed and 2) it doesn't mean that Jehovahs doesn't love you or that you're doing something wrong. Apparently many JWs tell depressed JWs that they don't have J's holy spirit. I think I recently read an article that breifly mentioned that too. They still tend to accuse the depressed, but they're being more subtle about it.

I haven't heard a lot about JWs being such "happy people" recently!

And I was depressed. Suicidal. I'll tell my whole story on here one day, but for now, suffice to say I'm much happier knowing that I'm not a bad person for thinking that hitting kids (even on "acceptable areas") is wrong, that nonJWs (and especially not their children) don't deserve to die horribly, etc. I don't live in fear of not being good enough for god. I don't worry that I'll get raped and will have "asked for it" just because I wore a low-cut top, or that I'll have committed fornication and no JW man will want me because I'm damaged goods. I now fully admit to myself that I believe in feminism without any guilt. I don't feel the need to have any respect for abusers, no matter what their age or reltaion to me, and I can stand up for myself better than I used to. I still get bouts of semi-depression for a few hours or days, occasionally, because I still haven't disassociated myself just yet. But I've finally gotten a taste of what life outside the WTS cult is like (mentally and partly physically), and I'm NEVER going back.

NewChapter

To NC, I always enjoy your posts and as usual agree 100%. I'm looking forward to being able(like you) to ditch the anti-depressants.

3rdgen, I hope it works out for you. Depression is complex, so use a great deal of care. Leaving doesn't always mean the depression leaves completely, but I believe it gets at least better for many. Please promise you will work closely with a doctor. That's what I did. We monitored my progress very closely. I just want you to have happiness and fullfillment now that you have taken the steps, and I don't want you to fall into depression.

NewChapter

or that I'll have committed fornication and no JW man will want me because I'm damaged goods

Chemical, I had to smile at this (ironically). A friend who was a single JW woman with a great job was very angry about a talk at her hall. The speaker had set up a scenario where a young sister left the "truth" and lived a worldly life. She got pregnant and had a child and came back. A bit later, a man who had been raised "in the world" and had all the sex he wanted, got baptized. The sister was interested in him, but he was not interested in HER because he wanted a virgin!

On the plus side, my friend was so disgusted she was almost spitting. On the negative side, many young women internalized that bullshit message that day. Please pass the Prozac.

NC

flipper

OODAD- Hey OODAD , I'm back ! Got back online , after a day off ( thanks to wifey's checking account ! ) LOL ! My wife & I enjoyed talking with you this morning !

I knew a young man in his mid 20's who was married with a young wife and children who committed suicide in the hometown I told you about I grew up in. He had depression and due to experimenting a little with drugs, got DFed. Not long thereafter he committed suicide. Awful , sad situation. I also knew plenty of people who suffered serious depression in several congregations I attended and they were treated like they had a disease . Pioneers would avoid working in field service with them and many times when hands were raised and asked if they needed a partner at meeting for service - depressed JW's hands would go up.

I also studied with a man in his late 20's when I was in my mid 20's who was paranoid / schizophrenic. He had multiple personalities and would often go off of his medications for depression. Very sad. This guy would go out wandering in the streets and got hit by a vehicle as well as tackled by a cop in a bank once after he tapped the cops gunholder. Eventually he got baptized , but due to his anger management problems towards his JW mother he lived with - the elders found him a halfway house to live in . After I moved from the area I heard he had had a drug overdose and committed suicide. Extremely sad.

Bottom line is this dangerous JW cult does NOTHING to offer serious emotional and physical support to depressed/suicidal people. They'd rather stick them in a corner out of the way and tell them to do more " personal study " to " snap out " of their depression. In my opinion because the WT society instructs elders to NOT recommend seeking psychiatric help professionally for depressed ones- it makes them culpable and liable for the outcome to depressed people. ! It's a sin of omission in not helping these people

3rdgen

Dear ChemicalEmotions (Boy your name is right on topic) Good for you!

JWs Depression and Suicide

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