Should i break up???

by Dudu 34 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Silent_Scream

  They finally broke up after years of dating. He soon met another and married her. Why? Because she gave him an ultimatum. People will take as much rope as you give them.....it's human nature.......

  I do not agree. Ultimatums are BAD.

  1) Humans are prideful creatures. Not always bad, but in this case it would be. No one likes being forced to go one way or another. (Like when you were young and about to wash dishes and your parents yelled "Go wash the dishes!")

  2) Being "forced" to choose likely will put him against you, even if he really is into you, because of pride OR if it goes your way, he may resent you or the decision he made.

  So, simply talk, like NC advised and find out whats going on. Then proceed to allow him to exercise his options as he please.
• 

  Dudu

  well, he called me while i was out having dinner with friends, to tell me that one of his friends is going to travel and thats why he is going to the beach with them instead of being with me, he said he is sorry he didnt explain me this when he called me at noon but he was in a lunch break so he didnt have much time to explain , funny thing is i didnt ask for an explanation instead i got mad and angry at him not knowing the reasons ..... i think for today im gonna enjoy the rest of the night with a movie.... i know ive been childlish
• 

  juni

  After contemplating on information being said here, go with your gut. If something doesn't feel right in the relationship; it isn't. A relationship does go through different stages. The only way it will work is if both people respect the other. Neither should give more than they are getting.

  Have a face to face with him - IF HE WILL COMMUNICATE. If he doesn't want to talk, starts blaming you/or others for why he acts a certain way, or gives excuses that are just cop outs, don't waste more time with him. The longer you stay to try to figure him out, the harder it is to leave.

  Remember this: When you're with a loser; you miss opportunities with those who do respect you. The best to you!

  Juni
• 

  juni

  Just wanted to add this:

  Sounds to me like he wants a relationship/companionship when HE wants it. We all need our own space and have our personal close friends which in healthy relationships should be honored by both people. But, if one person starts wanting to be by himself/herself A LOT or having minimal conversation or little affection shown... basically living a single life once again or wanting to spend a lot of time doing things w/only his/her friends...... then it is time to let go.

  If he can't "man up" and talk to you straight about what he wants, then move on. Also, look for actions; not just good talk.

  Let me also make a correction with my last post:

  If you're with THE WRONG PERSON, you miss the opportunity to be with the RIGHT PERSON for you.
• 

  jamiebowers

  well, he called me while i was out having dinner with friends, to tell me that one of his friends is going to travel and thats why he is going to the beach with them instead of being with me, he said he is sorry he didnt explain me this when he called me at noon but he was in a lunch break so he didnt have much time to explain , funny thing is i didnt ask for an explanation instead i got mad and angry at him not knowing the reasons ..... i think for today im gonna enjoy the rest of the night with a movie.... i know ive been childlish

  I hope you learned a lesson from his explanation. If you would've exprssed your disappointment when he called you at lunchtime, he would've taken the time to explain the situation about his friend leaving town. Be honest and expect honesty from him. Things should work out fine.