Buttons, are they necessarily dangerous?

by White Dove 24 Replies latest jw experiences

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Or do they have some kind of benefit to us, such as self-preservation?

    I learned that I had another button to add to the two I already had.

    My buttons are:

    Questioning in a judgmental way my parenting methods

    Attempting to control me in a patronizing manner concerning Deaf issues

    and, apparently, attempting to shame me into going back to meetings.

    Oh and another one: standing me up when we had plans.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I'm thinking from a mental and physical standpoint that some buttons protect us, while others give us ulcers and make us crazy.

    I wonder why I feel so intensely emotional on some issues.

    Why can't I just let some things go?

    Some of those things seem to just keep coming back over and over again, like JW issues from well meaning people.

    I don't like some of my reactions to them, yet I feel that it will never go away unless I push hard the first time.

    I am hungry right now, so maybe it's just low blood sugar talking.

    Still, I desire to be a nice person.

    But heaven help the button pushers.

    Isn't there some kind of balance to be struck here?

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Okay, stupid thread.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    LOL!!@White Dove..

    You have to be patient..

    It`s not a real good Idea to push peoples buttons..

    In real life..

    Once I`ve been pushed past a certain point..

    Things can get interesting..

    ...................... ;-)...OUTLAW

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    That's what I mean.

    I was recently pushed and just exploded.

    Everyone has them, right?

    I mean, they protect us from invasion of the mind snatchers.

    I am trembling from responding in such a harsh way.

    Thing is with JW's, they are so clueless about others' buttons.

    What I resent is being pushed that far and, it seems, being forced to react in such a way.

    But, doggonit, they just don't stop.

    So, I feel good and bad about my reaction to her.

  • zoiks
    zoiks

    In my experience, JWs often feel like it's their god-given right to push your buttons, or that pushing your buttons will not produce an adverse reaction simply because they are JWs and they are 'right'.

    But lots of them simply don't realize they're doing something dangerous. They get desensitized to people's ire because of the door-to-door work. They become clueless and unable to pick up on the obvious signs that it is time to stfu, NOW.

  • Shador
    Shador
    Still, I desire to be a nice person.
    But heaven help the button pushers.
    Isn't there some kind of balance to be struck here?

    Y'know, I have, over time, explored many philosiphies, beliefs, and worldviews. A lot of times I will take away from them various points I agree with - sort of an "a la carte" approach to a belief system. I mention this to say that, during my explorations, I pulled the following good rules on dealing with people from one of the many viewpoints I have explored:

    • When in another's lair (territory, turf, etc.), show him respect or else do not go there.
    • If a guest in your lair (territory, turf, etc.) annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
    • When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

    Which is to say, if someone is "pushing your buttons" - if you are on their turf, leave. If they are on your turf or neutral ground (public, etc.), feel free to rip them a new asshole and feel no guilt or shame about it.

  • N.drew
    N.drew

    I have some. "they are so clueless about others' buttons"

    I had a situation at the kingdom hall. There was a sister there, pioneer and married to an elder. He was the one who gave the oral sex talk at KH LOL. She was one crazy bitch sounds perfect, but i shouldn't call her that. She was in the habit of interfering in other people's business. She said something not kind to me and I snapped and gave her a little slap. That was a button. I have another. Then I got in trouble, but she didn't, which is not fair. I called the sister who studied with me before I was baptised and told her about it. All she needed to say to make me feel better was something like "You know her, please don't feel offended, she doesn't know what she does". Instead she said "well I can't help you, I don't know both sides". She knew her, she knew me (I was much quieter then), but she wouldn't help me. That was the beginning of getting out, so I have all the button pushers to thank for my freedom. Which isn't so bad.

    Are buttons dangerous? Not if they don't take over the person. Sometimes they're fun, aren't they?

    It's not a stupid thread.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    LOL to this thread. Ahhhh buttons! There was this sister that used to push mine, and seriously, I would feel absolutely violent. I would have to hold myself back from reaching over and physically hitting her. I'm not a violent person. I don't consider physical aggression a reasonable option. But she would talk to me in such a demeaning way, AND ALWAYS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, which is where the button really is. My heart would pound, my hands would shake, I'd grit my teeth and start breathing hard. It was crazy. I was as close to hitting her several times than I ever was with anyone anywhere.

    AND THEN the bitch would start cyring and apologizing in front of EVERYONE putting me in the awkward position of offering her comfort! God I wanted to rip her hair out.

    Even looking at what I just wrote kind of shocks me. I am so against violence, you'll never know. And of course, I never DID hit her. but she came close---real close. LOL

    NC

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Shador,

    You Satanist, you!

    I love it!

    N. Drew,

    That "bitch" lol was self-righteous to say that. Or, it was a SR thing to say. Or, both.

    Thank you, both.

    Zoiks,

    Yes, that's true. They are such social-tards, aren't they?

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