OMG shunning story

by man in black 27 Replies latest jw experiences

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  man in black

  My wife and I went to FedEx / Kinko's this afternoon and ran into a girl who was df'ed several years ago, (her parents are quite the rabid jw's.)

  They have two daughters, and the younger one recently got married at the kh.

  The older one who we were talking to proceeded to tell us that she decided to attend her younger sisters wedding ceremony which was fine despite the fact that nobody talked to her.

  But after the wedding she was basically ushered out of the hall. She was not allowed to participate in any pictures, or allowed to speak to the new couple. She was not allowed to attend the reception either.

  I know,,,,, this subject has been discussed thousands of times on this forum, but actually hearing it from a young girl, who is working, and supporting herself is astounding. Her only crime is that she does not want to be one of jehovahs witnesses.

  How in the HE (double hockey sticks) is this supposed to encourage this girl to come back into the religion ? Unbelievable !
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  Found Sheep

  that's just plain SICK!
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  Magwitch

  It is nothing but heartbreaking.
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  Bella15

  My niece, who is not a JW anymore because she was sexually abuse by a female pioneer almost 7+ years, was told by her family that she couldn't see her nephews unless she attend the meetings. Yeap. That's my LOVING JW family. They could care less about how my niece might feel after years of abuse, her case was diagnosed as cronic sexual abuse, yet my own sister, her mother, is worst than a beast and will give her support only if my niece return to the congregation. Very sad. My niece just turned 21 and I am the only one who supports her 100% emotionally. I wish my sister sees the light one day. My niece needs her. She needs her mom to comfort her without strings attached.
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  TotallyADD

  I know what you mean Bella15. I remember serveral years ago I told a CO about how a PO abuse me as a child. After giving him the dirt of the story all he could tell me was It would make me a better man. It's a cult and a unloving one at that. Totally ADD
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  noni1974

  I had almost the exact oppistie happen to me at a cousins wedding. She made a point of asking my mother to ask me to come to the cerimony just so I could be in the pictures on stage at the KH. My aunt, her mother, supported her wanting this and I decided to go. I got there and I was talked to and in the pictures and even went to dinner with my parents who skipped the reception to go to dinner with me. I'm one of the lucky ones though. It really makes me sad when I hear stories like this one.
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  NewChapter

  I know of a jw woman who planned her wedding very poorly. Her DF'd father got there and saw there was not enough food, so he ran out and bought a bunch of party trays and drinks. She accepted all the help but wouldn't allow him to be in the pictures. It's an evil pracitce.

  NC
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  mummatron

  That's awful but sadly very common. I wasn't even invited to my sister's wedding and she had a civil ceremony!
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  flipper

  MAN in BLACK- It is the utmost barbaric, reprehensible behavior of this woman's JW relatives to treat her this way. Did this young DFed lady sound sad or upset that she was treated this way ? Or did she just accept it as " oh well " these are my JW relatives it's how they are ?

  I was NOT allowed to walk both of my JW daughters down the aisles at their JW weddings ! Even though I'm just inactive and fading for 8 years. I questioned the elders and they copped out and said they didn't see any reason I couldn't walk them down the aisle . But it was my daughters husbands JW family who had made the big issue out of it. I decided to just attend the wedding and not make an issue out of it as to not spoil my daughter's special day. It ended up that nobody walked my daughters down the aisle. Just themselves.

  Point I'm making is not only DFed people are experiencing the bitterness of this shunning, but many who are just inactive or not attending. It seems depending on which fanatic Witnesses we deal with- some shun in a harder core fashion than others. Really sad
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  ReallyTrulyAthena

  man in black - it truly is, as flipper says - BARBARIC...whether for DFd individuals or inactive ones. (Flipper - that's just BS about you not being allowed to walk your daughters down the aisle). Barbaric. And heart-breaking. And all shades of WRONG. I've been out since '92 and hearing these kinds of shunning stories still rile me up

  As I was reading this string, I recalled that while I was allowed (as a DF'd person) to attend my younger JW sister's wedding, I wasn't allowed to attend the reception, nor be in any family pictures either. Later, when wedding pictures were shared with me by an insensitive, on-the-fence/unbaptized family member (another story for another thread), I thought how thoughtless and hurtful and agonizing the whole thing was. We are cast aside without a care on their part and yet expected to NOT FEEL. But, oh how I did feel...........................................

  Scrolling my memory banks tonight, I don't recall much of ANYTHING of that day (like I "blacked out"; gee, but supression of one's feelings is a funny beast), other than my brother telling me on the front stoop of the KH that I "wasn't allowed to do this or that, as I was out" and that I needed to understand. Funny, that - understand the hurtful ones. Disregard the ones hurting.

  It's a snapshot in time of a time I wish I could blot out entirely...the snippets of memories are what kill you inside.

  My thoughts to the DF'd girl in your opening comment...

  RTA