Hilarious C.O. analogy!!

by DavinciCodeBreaker 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • DavinciCodeBreaker
    DavinciCodeBreaker

    Our C.O. really put his foot in his mouth last night. He went to illustrate how we should be diligent and unwavering in our ministry and used Luke 13: 6-9 where it says;

    “Then he went on to tell this illustration: “A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came looking for fruit on it, but found none. 7 Then he said to the vinedresser, ‘Here it is three years that I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree, but have found none. Cut it down! Why really should it keep the ground useless?’ 8 In reply he said to him, ‘Master, let it alone also this year, until I dig around it and put on manure; 9 and if then it produces fruit in the future, [well and good]; but if not, you shall cut it down.”

    He said Jesus represented the vinedresser and the Master was Jehovah. Three years into Jesus ministry Jehovah was ready to throw in the towel to the despondent Jews but Jesus pleaded with his father to give him more time. So Jehovah did just that-six months to be exact.

    Today we are like the vinedresser that needs to work even harder to cultivate our territory and as it says in verse 8 to “fertilize our territory.”

    I laughed out loud because for the first time this C.O. nailed it as verse 8 says the vinedresser used MANURE-more precisely SH_T! How true - our preaching work was referred to as spreading crap-finally they got it right!!

  • sir82
    sir82

    He said Jesus represented the vinedresser and the Master was Jehovah. Three years into Jesus ministry Jehovah was ready to throw in the towel to the despondent Jews but Jesus pleaded

    with his father to give him more time.

    I don't believe I've ever heard that interpretation before.

    Which verse in the Bible describes "Jesus pleading with his father to give him more time"? Which verse indicates "Jehovah was ready to throw in the towel"?

    Anyways, yeah, that illustration about the fertilizer is more apt than they realize.

  • DavinciCodeBreaker
    DavinciCodeBreaker

    sir82, I agree the illustration was bogus, however I could not focus on anything but the "manure application". Still makes me laugh-I love it!

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    When it comes to spreading manure, most COs are experts.

  • Vachi 8 He Is
    Vachi 8 He Is

    I really hate that "today we are like" BS. We aren't anything like those in the bible as we are more advanced in damn near everything we do compared to them. These are people who probably would claim we are gods because we have a device that let's us talk to people on the other side of the planet. These are people who would label us as witches and sorcerers because we have an instrument in the palm of our hand that produces fire. Oh, and don't you dare moonwalk or breakdance! You'd be nothing short of Beelzebub himself.

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Yeah they really spread it around!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPWcV9KMIEU

  • sizemik
    sizemik

    God help me . . . give 'em time and they could turn the whole friggin' Bible into a whip-cracking exercise.

    How did we ever put up with that "shit"

  • JWJunky
    JWJunky

    Shitlock solved the mystery again!

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    Knock knock

    good morning, we are Jehovahs witnesses and this morning we are offering free bags of manure to people... perhaps i could interest you in a sample?

    oz

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    The Watchtower and Awake! are horse-sh*t and cow-sh*t respectively.

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