IT'S OFFICIAL - I LEFT THE BORG!

by doubtful 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    You are doing this at 19, no JW wife, no JW kids or grandkids. It might seem tough now, but it could have been a nightmare at some time in the future.

    So...now I feel horribly guilty because I've alienated the only two people who really matter to me in life..the only two people I truly love...and I've brought them such grief and misery..


    Don't blame yourself for their pain. You did nothing wrong. You didn't ask to be raised in a Jeckle & Hyde cult that treats it's members badly when they leave. You didn't ask to be taught lies. The 'grief and misery' are the result of the cult's teachings, not you. Your mother and GF need to get their shit together and confront their cognitive dissonance, not you.

    Welcome to the real world

    Chris

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Welcome!

    Loz x

  • 3Mozzies
    3Mozzies

    Welcome Doubtful

    Thank you so much for your story, which was written extremely well by the way. Your story touched me.

    It's been a year for me as well, things are better and other things need time to settle down. So you’re only 19... well well what can I say but 'I ENVY YOU', to find this all out so early is beyond words. I wasted 30 years in the cult (I'm 40). Your whole life awaits you. In years to come you'll look back and realise what a turning point in your life it was to have awakened from this religion! All the best :)

    Glad you found us here.

    3Mozzies

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Congrats on your awakening at such a young age! Counseling would probably be a good idea. In the meantime, don't waste your time on guilt. The grief of your mother and girlfriend is caused by the Watchtower's evil empire. And their saddness is nowhere near the suffering that this organization has caused all of the innocent children who have been sexually abused, battered spouses who are forced to stay in damaging marriages, men who have been imprisoned over the neutrality issue, and people who have died denying blood and political involvement.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Such a long post.... so much you have been through...

    You said you think you need counselling - I recommend it. It'll be rare to find a counsellor/psychologist who knows all about cult exiting but it is possible to find someone who at least has the experience to get you through the emotions you are going through.

    Hang in there, you WILL get through this - eventually.

  • MrMonroe
    MrMonroe

    What 3Mozzies said. Another month, another year in that organization is a waste of your precious life. Why pretend, why suck up to those people, bow down to that organization, when you can plainly see it's a lie? I came to many of the same realisations as you did, but fortunately I didn't have the terrible dilemma of losing friends and family. But you CANNOT, must not, sacrifice your own honesty, peace of mind and future prospects for the sake of people who are trapped in a cult. That's their choice to stay, their choice to shut out your explanations.

    Be assured that you will find much better friends OUTSIDE the organisation. You will enjoy a sense of freedom you've never had.In years to come you will be greatly relieved you too this step now.

    My wife went to some counselling sessions after we left (it was three years ago this month) and benefited greatly. Her counsellor was very familiar with issues arising from the JWs; she said her clients included current and former JWs.

    All the best for the future. It will be much, much better.

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