by DesirousOfChange 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • finallyfree!

    advantage of being a jw: you can sail through life ignoring truth and reality

    disadvantage: its all a big fat lie

  • Retrovirus

    This is an interesting subject; I'll try for a more focussed post this time . . .

    But, all things considered, are there more advantages than disadvantages?

    There are aspects that would feel like advantages. The satisfaction of belonging to an elite group, the security of clear rules and regulations (at any one time), the comfort of routine and community. Misery's posts in particular give a warm picture of the jw community.

    The big disadvantage I see would be the doubts. I cannot imagine that any jw with a reasonable education wouldn't have them. Answers like "wait upon Jehovah" and "more meetings and service" couldn't wipe them out. It would be like seeing things out of the corner of your eye but being forbidden to turn your head and look.

    Young people most of all would be hampered by never being allowed to test their own judgement and initiative. And if for any reason you finally could no longer live by someone elses' rules, well, those are covered every day in the forum. The choice between living a lie and losing family, friends and community to live in a world you have been taught to fear.

    I am in awe of the courage of those who take this step.

  • freedomisntfree

    advantage-amazing food at witness get togethers and being part of a larger community

    disadvantage- its all conditional and cramped seats at assemblys lol

  • DesirousOfChange

    The choice between living a lie and losing family, friends and community to live in a world you have been taught to fear.

    I am in awe of the courage of those who take this step.

    Courage is surely an understatement. Someone who has been in for decades feels like they have nothing else to turn to. It's all they know. If you're a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th generation JDub, surely much/most of your family is also "in". All of your friends are other JDubs. You have built a life revolving around JDub tradition. You have taken a stand on things with all your "worldly" peers at school or work or non-witness family. Maybe you have "recruits" in that respect you for "all that you are" in the Truth.....

    Then BAM! Something awakens you.........you start looking at things critically (oh, oh, the WT warns about those who are critical -- it's the first sign)..... you take off the blinders and.........(that's where I am).......

    .............well you know the rest.

    How long does this period of denial last?

    How long before you get over the concern that everything bad happening in your life is divine justice?

  • clarity

    Hello Wasblind - you're so right about jw kids being afraid to 'open up' to their parents. Any wrong doing will be reported to the "leaders" and this fear interfears with the natural family communication. To confess to this bunch is like slitting your own throat lol!

    Doc ......"How long before you get over the concern that everything bad happening in your life is divine justice?"

    How long is a piece of string?? It all depends on you. Good luck.


  • LongHairGal


    Your post says it all for me. As far as I was concerned, the benefits to me of being a JW were that I stopped smoking and lived a moral lifestyle. I didn't have to worry about pregnancy or disease because I was practicing abstinence. You are right that it is about high control. Even though a person could achieve these benefits in another religion, the JWs are very intrusive and make a person's life miserable.

    But, this doesn't make the JWs the 'truth' because they supposedly have 'high morals' and look clean (well, on the surface anyway). I consider myself fortunate not to have been raised in the religion. I came in as a young adult and already had an education and career. It is a sobering thought to imagine how damaged I could have been if the story were different.

    If a religion is built on a faulty foundation the whole thing is to be discarded as far as I am concerned.

  • wasblind

    " I felt as if I had to make up my rules as I went, and that I had little or no authority as a parent."


    I know what you mean, one thing I noticed while I was attendin' the hall was that the

    Elders wives felt that they had the authority to tell you how to parent. Mind you now

    me and my daughter were worldlies comin' into this religion. My duaghter was the one

    who gave me the scoop on how some of the JW kids act diferently in school than in the hall

    she said if she didn't know them from the hall. she would not have known that they were


    Before I up and quit that mess, I took notice of the school children my daughter knew

    in the hall, they were actually zoned out durin' the meetings. if they had parts they would

    do their parts well, and they would answer questions. It seemed mechanical, not real

    I'm speakin' bout the teens.

    younger children would seem to thrive off of the praise

    they would get from answerin' canned questions, and the toddlers who couldn't sit

    still were carried to the back. From what I seen the parents would quiet the child down

    without spankin' them. not sayin they didn't spank, I just didn't see it, from where I was sittin'

  • punkofnice

    There is so much pent up frustration in the JW's. This is why you'll see insulting and rude comments from them on youtube beneath the vid.

    Encourage = Thou shall not!

    A JW wastes their lives pounding the streets 'placing' dublications, trying to start 'Bible' studies, attending meetings that are not worship based but sales orientated.

    It's a very hollow life of delusion and disappointment.

    I've seen this in my own family and thru' all the disappointment there is this illusion that god will make it all right in the end so let's keep pretending, holding on...the big 'A' is VERY close....please, let it be very close........

    Many 'worldly' people live more moral lives and do not tell lies to entrap people into their cult.

    As for having a good 'social network'..........nah! Smoke 1 cigarette and you'll see them turn on you like wolves!

  • wasblind

    you know what Punkof nice,

    You just reminded me of somethin'. I have a cigarette lighter

    that's mainly used for decoration cause I don't smoke, it doesn't even

    have lighter fluid in it. And when I started studying, they did mention

    something about it, and I told them it was decorative I didn't use it

    They were feelin' me out , and I didn't even have a clue

    Control Freaks

  • punkofnice

    @Wasblind - I have shown you fire! (or was it a ciggy lighter?)

  • watersprout

    ADVANTAGES??? Seriously what advantages are there to being a dub??? THERE IS NONE! YOU ARE HAVING A LAUGH!

    I knew soo many dubs who DID NOT lead a ''moral'' life! You name it i knew someone who had done it or had done to them! The majority of them had family that had some authority. Disgusting the lot of them! Then they had the cheek to look down upon everyone else!


  • wasblind

    Ciggy Lighter wit no fire

  • punkofnice

    @Wasblind Ah, well, that's the bitter irony. Like a pub with no beer or a watchtower with truth in it.

    Going off topic I remember a black sister who had a glass fish ornament which stood on it's tail mouth in the air. An elder seriously made the comment after seeing her: 'Do you think she worships Dagon?' I kid you not. But then this is on topic as ......there are NO advantages in living in such a misguided mentality

  • wasblind

    " there are NO advantages in living in such a misguided mentality "

    I say your whole post is on topic

  • Quendi

    Interesting thread. By the way, Wasblind, I have sent you a PM.

    I had an interesting experience yesterday (my birthday, by the way) while shopping in a local market. I noticed one of the shoppers continually staring at me. There was something vaguely familiar about him but I didn't know what it was. Eventually he came up to me and introduced himself. It was then that he identified himself as a member of one of the local congregations. We had attended meetings at the same Hall years ago. I smiled, reintroduced myself, and we shook hands. He then revealed rather timidly that he was no longer going to meetings. I didn't tell him that I had been disfellowshipped, but I did tell him that I had stopped going to meetings as well. The relief on his face upon hearing that spoke volumes.

    We then talked about why we had both left. He told me something I am hearing from others: he was tired of waiting for false promises to be kept, false prophecies to come true, and false teachings to be corrected. He was tired of all the demands being made on his time and energy that left nothing for other worthwhile pursuits. He told me that not only had he left, but that his entire family had left with him. I told him how fortunate he was that the organization had not destroyed his family. He acknowledged that.

    I asked him if the elders had called upon him and his family in an effort to bring them back. He told me that they had made one half-hearted attempt, but otherwise had abandoned them to their own devices. He has no intention of ever returning. He also said he wished now that he had never got involved with Jehovah's Witnesses, and that association with them had denied him and his family many opportunities and much happiness they could have otherwise had. The hardest part now was rebuilding their lives since all their friends and close associates had been Jehovah's Witnesses. I told him not to give up, and that he and his family would be successful in rebuilding their lives. I made the suggestion that he might want to join a volunteer organization where he could meet new people and give his life some focus again. He told me that he and his wife were already considering that and thanked me for the suggestion. We then exchanged contact information and I hope we will get together soon for we had had a good relationship in the past.

    Naturally, you won't read an experience like this in the Society's literature or hear it conveyed from the speaker's platform. The chauvinistic thinking the organization advances and cultivates among its members is that only Jehovah's Witnesses can be genuinely good human beings, and that only by associating with them can anybody get the best out of life. This philosophy denies a basic Bible truth that comes from the book of Genesis. There we read, "And God went on to say: 'Let us make man in our image according to our likeness.' And God proceeded to create the man in his image, in God's image he created him, male and female he created them." --Genesis 1:26, 27

    So any human being, regardless of ethnicity, national origin, or creed can reflect God's image and glorify him. All human beings can be altruistic and display the very noblest of qualities. Yet the Watchtower Society inculcates the belief that only members of its religion can do this. This kind of chauvinism isn't Christian at all, and is but one more crime this religion has committed in the names of God and Christ. My old Witness acquaintance told me he is happier now than he has been in years and is looking forward to getting to know his fellow human beings better. I was very happy to hear this because he now knows that the "advantages" of being one of Jehovah's Witnesses are not real. True advantage comes with realizing our humanity by reflecting God's image and acting on it as God intended us to do.


  • wasblind

    Got it Qeundi, I sent you one back

  • Finally-Free

    Advantage: You can buy cheap polyester suits that even the moths won't eat, and find outlets that sell ties by the pound.

    Disadvantage: You go through life looking like a loser.


  • jookbeard

    some of the very worst examples of alcoholism from the very top down to the R&F come from years of observation from being in the WTS, smoking continues, as does huge problems with immorality,fornication,drug abuse and gambling, TBH the WTS may have a monopoly on this type of wrongdoing. That 5th paragraph from the OP is typical WT bullshit and propaganda as Mad Sweeney rightly noted.


    There is Nothing in Watchtower World..

    You can`t learn,somewhere else..

    Why would you eat a Bucket of Shit,because..

    There`s a Few Kernels of Corn in it?..


    ........................ ...OUTLAW

  • wasblind

    Why would you eat a Bucket of Shit,because..

    There`s a Few Kernels of Corn in it?..


    That should most definitely go down as one of the world's greatest quotes

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