I have elders wanting to meet with me, too. I'm dodging. I was going to send a letter, but after posting it here and getting opinions, I realized all I'm doing is playing by THEIR rules. Part of the reason I left was so I didn't have to! And here I am feeding into it again! So, I decided I won't send it. I won't meet with them, I won't speak to them when they stop by (which I'm expecting soon, considering the annual Reject Jesus Party coming up), I have nothing to say to them whatsoever.
As for family in, most who know me know that I have a lot of family in as well. But at least I know some of them are waking up, even if they aren't leaving right away. And if they never leave, at least I know they KNOW, ya know? lol.
As for your marriage, well, sometimes that ends up being destroyed. It goes along with the JW's version of love. I hope this isn't the case for you and your wife. I know for my marriage, my apostasy was the straw that broke the camel's back and contributed to our separation...and my cheating to get out of the marriage completely is what ended it eventually...In that sense, I played by their rules. But maybe your wife will become more open to listening to things. There will be a rift. From my case and many others, your spouse will look at you like they don't even know who you are. Might withhold sex, might be cold and indifferent toward you. The thing to remember is this: YOU are not ruining your marriage. Your spouse is by their reaction to the choice you have made and CHOOSING to not display unconditional love toward you.
Please keep us updated!