by liz_south 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
palm
'I was forbidden to speak to him or help him out in any way.
I couldn't do it. I secretly gave him money, bought him stuff he needed, gave him a job when he needed it.'
What you did is a mothers job, imo. If a mother doesn't run interference for her young, who will?
S
Satanus.....exactly
c
I am one of these damaged ones. My mom has been out of town visiting my aunt this past week, and it's allowed me the privacy to be able to do my research. This is the first time I've come to these realizations and been honest with myself. But at the same, I can't accept this new reality. It's so earth-shattering, as if my previous existence never was, as if someone just pulled the carpet out from under my feet. I feel like I'm drowning.
And I'm seriously contemplating suicide. If I'm going to die in 50 or 60 years anyway, and there's no life after that, then what difference does it make if I die now or 50 years from now? I can't imagine a life without my mother. And I can't tell her all that I know, because if she heard it all, even she might be "stumbled" - aka - leave the org. But then she would have no comfort, no hope. I think I'm better off leaving her to her delusion. This is the first time I've truly understood the old cliche that "ignorance is bliss". Her life has been a series of tragedies, and if she knew that this was all there was, she might very well lose her sanity.
But on the other hand, if I don't tell her why I left, she'll just think it was because I wanted to go off "into the world" and have fun and have sex for the "temporary enjoyment of sin". And she'll never know the real reasons why. That will cheapen her idea of me. She'll think me traitorous, weak, cowardly, and debased. And she'll abide by the disfellowshipping doctrine and refuse to speak with me.
I have two mid-terms tomorrow that I was supposed to spend the last 5 days studying for, and I haven't even cracked the books open, because I've been on this forum and online researching night and day. I haven't slept in 36 hours, and I feel such inner pain and anguish, and yet oddly I haven't shed a tear.
I'm giving serious thought to suicide. This isn't a cry for attention. I doubt I'll really go through with it, but it seems like a very viable option right now. I'm broken. I'm afraid.
Doubtful - suicide is not an option at all. The JWs have forced an unnatural mindset upon you to believe that your life is only valid/valuable if you spend it 'waiting' for a paradise to live in. Please believe me/us that it isnt the case. Life can be pretty wonderful however long we live, we can love and laugh and even cry and we can grow in experience and maturity.
I still believe in my God and a life after death but even if I didnt, having battled a small cancer I learned that life is very precious. Please think about seeing your doctor maybe and getting some counselling?
Finding out that the 'truth' isnt what we thought is very shocking and painful - I was told I was suffering from PTSD because it is such a major blow to us. So I do realise how bad you feel. And JWs do not have the only rights to a relationship with our creator so hold onto to yours.
Keep coming here and sharing these feelings and distress , you will receive lots of comfort and support.
Recently a family member committed suicide and the shock and devastation it brought was truly horrific. Dont do that to yourself and your loved ones.
Please ask for help. Hugs.
Loz x
liz-south - I am so sorry to hear about your nephew, its good he has you to turn to, the JWs have so damn much to answer for.
Loz x
... if I don't tell her why I left, she'll just think it was because I wanted to go off "into the world" and have fun and have sex for the "temporary enjoyment of sin". And she'll never know the real reasons why. That will cheapen her idea of me. She'll think me traitorous, weak, cowardly, and debased. And she'll abide by the disfellowshipping doctrine and refuse to speak with me.
Don't tell her anything, doubtful.
Only ever ask a question then insist on an honest answer. Make her feel guilty for any ruse she uses to weasel her way out of answering your question.
Control the topic at all times.
They are the ones that need to grow a pair and face up to the tough questions that they should have asked/answered themselves years ago, before they took the decision to raise us in this cult. Why should we pay for their mistake?
Chris
Its amazing that so many JW's don't see the absolute immorality of thowing a minor out of their house and making them homeless with no means of support. Not to mention that it is actually a felony for a parent not to support their minor children and the law/welfare can go after the parents for support.
doubtful and liz's nephew
If you've got no place to go just ignore your parents if you can. Start living your own life. Say you are trying to be intellectually and emotionally honest. I find this a good notion to keep in mind to encourage myself and also to rebut emotional blackmail. it works - JWs stop in their tracks and I quickly move on. However as you guys are very young it may take some practising.
doubtful its hard not to be discouraged when you are faced with a pile of books you have not read or studied. Tell your teacher about your situation or get a doctors note to say how you are feeling. This will also document the pressure you are experiencing.
Those old goats in Brooklyn have a lot to answer for. Encouraging parents to shun their children for the sake of this worn-out religion that should have folded up decades ago! The GB just add to the chaos and suffering in the world.
He will end up so damaged by all of this even if he stops now.
liz_south... when I was a teen, I realized it was not for me. I knew I had to wait things out. So I went to my "Happy Place". My mind started designing, planning for my future. I got real busy too with school and part-time jobs to start saving for going to College.
If you can, and he hasn't already done so, encourage your nephew to not get baptized but to focus on and plan for his future. He needs to get his driver's license and then move away to go to College after graduating high school.
If he is a visual kinda guy, get him to create a dream board. This is a collage of pictures on a board that represent goals and aspirations he has. Ask him to start thinking about how he will fulfill his Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual needs. Here is an example of a dream board:
