New member - my story

by Millions 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    MILLIONS:

    Welcome to the Board. I enjoyed your very well written, detailed posts.

    I was struck by what you wrote about not seeing the necessity to research every one of the religion's teachings once you decided you wanted out. I totally agree with you. I have to laugh about the word 'research' though when used with regard to this religion. To me, research implies looking for something substantial or academic and as far as I am concerned this is a joke when applied to the JW religion.

    You are also right about how the type of life as a JW is testimony enough that something is seriously wrong.

    Once I found out the dirt on the religion in 2000 and all my doubts and suspicions were confirmed, there was no need to 'research' anything. I headed for the door.

  • Thor
    Thor

    Hi and welcome millions!

    My husband and I just read your story and comments, and watched some of your videos.

    We found ourselves nodding along in agreement with so much and enjoyed hearing about you!

    Life is looking great!

    Mrs. Thor

  • Millions
    Millions

    Thanks for the welcomes Bangalore, Joliette, cantleave, Franklin Massey, Thor, I do appreciate each one of them a lot. And thanks for the people who thought the posts were well written, I am hoping to study English Literature/Language and/or Linguistics soon, and I would love to write for a living one day, so fingers crossed.

    Farkel - I was going to mention about the way everyone would pick out their huge great houses for the new system while on service. I had a hard time reconciling the cover of the Look! brochure with this landgrab mentality amongst the brothers.

    I think this is a very important factor, the difference between the written theology of the Watchtower, and the actual day-to-day beliefs of the average witness. So many things are accepted practise amongst the brotherhood, yet you won't find it corroborated in the literature. People having a Bible study get the squeaky clean, sanitised, perfectly wonderful utopian view of the organisation; once you get into the heart of it though, you see the reality, even without the sinister side of things, and there are so many unofficial rituals and habits and sayings that exist within the 'tribe'. Eg did anyone seriously believe the thing about resurrected ones not being able to marry? Most JWs I knew were simply waiting for a clarification on that teaching. Or the way people behave during the C.O. visit. It's like the difference between written tradition and oral tradition. It would make a truly fascinating study for anyone that was still inside.

    2pink - these comments were just brilliant: IF they are right (they aren't) and Armageddon does come (it won't) and only JWs survive (bahahaha), then I will gladly accept death that day with a smile on my face because I made the most of my life while I had the chance.

    This reminded me of how, at the start of my fade, I made a chart which listed all the things that would need to be satisfied in order for it to be worth my while carrying on in the JWs. Things like: God actually existing; him actually inspiring the writing of the Bible; the original text of the Bible being written down correctly; the New World Translation being accurate; the interpretations in the literature being right; the brothers teaching it correctly; me actually living up to what was being taught and not being marked for destruction without realising it; and so on. It ended up being such a small chance that everything had been done correctly, that it certainly helped me convince myself that it was a total waste of time EVEN in the unlikely circumstance of them being right.

    And honestly, thinking of my life consisting of eating watermelon and grapes while listening to elders bullsh*t for eternity gives me an eye twtich. Eff that!

    What a freaking nightmare - a vegetarian brainwashing Groundhog Day. Again, the difference between the written tradition and the oral or ACTUAL tradition - look around you at the assemblies and the meetings - THIS IS YOUR PARADISE. Eternity with these social outcasts! Maybe a little harsh, but true of so many. And the good friends I did have would only end up getting their souls sucked out a little more each year. Once you realise with a jolt that the routines and the people that your life entirely consists of as a Witness, are what's being planned for eternity by the Society, that is kind of a turn-off. Where are the great thinkers and creatives? Where is the colour and diversity and richness of life in the Society? International conventions and the Awake magazines are wonderful for one reason only - a tiny bit of world CULTURE is allowed to infiltrate our consciousness. Once everyone is in GB-approved beige slacks and print dresses you can forget all that stuff.

    LongHairGal - I totally agree about their concept of the word 'research'. For just about any problem anyone ever had, the answer would be 'Do some research in the Society's literature'. Doctrinal questions, personal matters, organisational procedure, the same answer. 'Re-indoctrinate yourself brother. We can't tell you anything different, because that's all we know!' In fact I can remember giving items where sometimes I had *shock horror* used the Internet to get some up-to-date stats or a different example or whatever, and not only did I feel a bit worried about how it would be received, there would often be a confused look on the brothers' faces - 'but this wasn't in the talk last time...' or 'the paragraph has statistics from 1983, not 2001... I'm not sure I can trust this information!' The continual reapplication of the same old stuff just made everyone feel better, like putting on an old pair of comfortable shoes; the slight doubts submerged again, the disconcerting feelings buried under an avalanche of Repetition For Emphasis. Repeat after me. Repeat after me. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

  • wobble
    wobble

    Yup, it's a cult , it's a cult it's a cult !

    The constant dissonance I had to carry over the years became too much, I realised for a long time they were full of bulls**t and their "advice" consisted of some homespun theory devised by a GB member, or writing dept. member who had never been in the real world.

    The problem I had was, as a born in, I still felt that "Jehovah" had an interest in the Org.and therefore it was in my best interests to stick with it.

    You,Millions, my dear young fellow , have woken up in time, I wish you well with your further education, my son No. 1 read English at Uni. so if you need any pointers, P.M me, I will give you his E-mail addy etc.and you can talk, it may be useful ??

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