The biggest difference for someone to consider if they are torn between DA/DF or just FADING is that when DA or DF, then (to play by the rules) R&F MUST SHUN or they risk being DF themselves (exceptions allowed to family memebers). However, if you FADE and stay under their radar, it is a matter of individual (conscientious) choice of each R&F member as to how much they choose to associate with a fader.
Fading vs. D'F'd
by Band on the Run 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
-
-
nugget
This is a very personal choice and what is right for one may not be for another. We started off as faders because we wanted to keep our family relationships intact but as time went on and we realised how profoundly damaging this organisation could be we moved towards allowing things to take their course and when Df'ing came accepted it pragmatically. Whilst fading you have to be so concious of what you do and how things appear. You cannot openly celebrate anything and Df'd people visiting your home feel awkward and self concious. You cannot shake off the shakles that bind whilst fading for fear of discovery.
For our family Dfing means great loss of relationships. But if you don't stand up for something what example do you offer your children. We could not live a life of fear and could not allow them the stress of worrying that they may say or do something that would get the family into trouble. Outside we are a place of sanctuary where people can come if they change their mind, inside we could do little good.
-
Inside Man
If you want to celebrate the holidays, vote, gamble, have sex outside of marriage, smoke or do many other things JW's dont do with peace of mind you must DA or you will get get caught or ratted on by some other witness at some point and they will DF you on the spot. If you want to fade in peace and can stay away from watchtower defined sins just keep playing by there rules and be miserable, but at least some will still associate with you if you are not DF or DA. You will just be viewed as a weak publishers in strong witnesses minds. 1 Cor. 15:33
-
MrFreeze
I chose the direct route of telling them how I felt about the JW's. I haven't had a JC but I have had countless visits from "concerned" ones. Probably the hardest thing I ever did in my life.
-
breathing
it isnt logical, it does depend on the cong and elders you are around, thats my opinion
i faded and 12 years later have gotten away with it in the way of still being able to speak to my elderly family, and care for them, whilst living my own life for the majority of the time,
i moved away when i faded, so that helped alot,
obviously when i come across those from my old cong, they look at me as though i have 2 heads most of the time, although there are those that are genuinely pleased to see me BUT i never get invited to anything socially of course, so its like a 1/2 shunning really,
sometimes i have wished i had got dissed, cos then i would have had a clean break and would have been completlely free in one way, but then i would have lost my family, who i love dearly and who were brought up in it too,
when my family are passed on, i might tell them the truth of what i think of their religion!