by lydia 13 Replies latest jw friends
With so many having been raised in the Truuf...
do any of you now feel that due to the abuse and horros of being raised that way that you now need to work at building positive memories of things..Like Christmas??
Do others accuse you of going overboard with the Holiday celebrations??
Do you look for opportunitys to have a party??
Has it helped??
I'd love to hear of some who also do this...
I have a hard time getting into the holidays or birthdays.
I have never had a birthday party. I was 5 when my Mom was baptized, so, that ended when I was about 3 1/2. My husband and I have moved around so much in the last 12 years, we make friends, however, not good enough to invite for a b-day party. When I turned 30 we were in a great neighboorhood in Ohio and my husband got transferred about 2 months before my b-day. The neighbors were going to have one.
Christmas....I do gifts for my husband and his mother and relatives. None of my relatives-they are all dubs on my Mom's side and I never see my Dad or his side. My JW Mom will accept b-day, x-mas and any other holiday gifts when I have gotten up the emotion to send them, however, she has never sent me anything (which I understand).
I just do not get into it. I try to put on a front for my husband, however, he understands and does not push.
We did purchase a christmas tree this year....we just did not decorate it! It was a major start in celebrating the holidays.
My answer is Yes to all of your questions.
I am enjoying building these new memories and I really don't mind if others think I am going overboard.
I just tell them I have a lifetime of making up to do and I am enjoying my freedom.
They all seem to understand this.
I may balance out someday and then again maybe I won't.
As long as I'm happy,who cares right?
Ranchette
Hi lydia,
I think I definately have been trying to make up for lost memories associated with holidays and family traditions. There usually isnt a holiday that goes by, no matter how small, that I dont have some little reminder in the house of it.
I love making sure my boys get to enjoy all those wonderful treats of childhood; altho' I think I'm probably doing it as much for myself as for them.
We have Valentine's day coming up and I just love going shopping for the cards my 6yr. old will hand out in class and putting little candies inside the cards, etc. And at breakfast on Feb.14th, I place a special candy by their breakfast bowl in the morning......OK, so Im kind of corny that way!
As zealous and strait-laced a Witness as I was growing up, I still secretly wished I could have a part in all of the holidays; Christmas esp. I would just squelch those desires as much as possible and suffer the guilt that came with knowing I was wanting a part of the world that Jehovah was going to destroy and me along with it if I didnt watch it.
Sincerely, Windrider
I feel the exact opposite:
I was brought up JW so never celebrated holidays. Now, I have no objections to holidays, but don't see the point of celebrating them! Xmas is the worst - I can't get into the spirit, and feel I'm just celebrating it to please other people. The first Xmas I celebrated was when I was 17, and I didn't know how to. (Everyone also thought that I didn't celebrate Xmas!)
Like puffsrule, I move around a lot. It was my b/day recently - I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want a fuss, as I would have felt embarrassed!
I think the holidays rule is v. petty - it's just something else the WT uses to distinguish between "them" and "us"
Oddly enough, Jan 30 (today in SA) is my b/day, and I got one prezzie - from this girl I know, a very nice shirt that fits me really well. She has such good taste! Thanks girl! Made my day...it was so weird getting a b/day present, it just wasn't funny. I'v never gotten one, not ever.
I do party wildly tho, to make up for all the self-imposed strictness I lived under during my Dub days. Excellent!
-Well I just love to party no matter what!
-Yeah I love Christmas another great reason to party!
I`m not rebuilding anything I`m living man living!Everything prior has been deleted and the future is whats happening!
Beans
Simple isn`t it?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYN
luv deb x
Happy Birthday SYN!
Hope you get what you wanted!
Gem,
When you do decide to celebrate your first Christmas, do it with someone special.
Or spend it around children, who are so excited about Christmas.
If I didn't have a family, I might feel like you do--what's the point?
You should give it a go this year--with the less fortunate, even.
Lisa
