I just can't do anymore right now....

by GrandmaJones 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  SweetBabyCheezits

  You're an intelligent, thinking human, Grandma. You want to learn about the other side after having only been fed JW propaganda for so long.

  Seems a good many of us do the obessive reading and research for a while about anything JW-related. I got past that and eventually migrated to Christianity & the Bible in general.

  Since being DF'd, I've mellowed out quite a bit I think. I still find myself preoccupied with exJW/exChristian issues. Someday I hope to visit and post here far less... and lead a life that is less anti and more pro. Until then, it's part of the recovery process, I believe.
• 

  pirata

  I don't know what happened with all the font changes...Weird.

  These forums don't take too kindly to cut-and-paste. If you cut-and-paste first into Notepad to get rid of the formatting, you can then cut-and-paste from Notepad to here without bizarre things happening.
• 

  fadinfast

  Hi Grandma, I wrote an answer for here but dropped in the wrong place, here http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/202220/1/Most-mags-placed FF
• 

  moshe

  You know you have grown up, when you realized 20 years ago that Ray Franz was not the end all, know all expert for all ex-JWs- a good start , but not the final answer. Keep your research going, G-J, so many get sidetracked by a convenient religion that espouses the, feel the loving spirit inside you.
• 

  Balsam

  Grandma Jones,

  Lots of us have done the very same thing you are doing, and it is perfectly normal to feel such shock and overload. Sometimes you just have to back off and quit thinking about it if you can and chill. You can always come back to it once you feel refreshed and ready to digest more.

  Balsam
• 

  GrandmaJones

  Yes , I was having a freak out that night. I had just done too much that day. Most nights I go to bed thinking of this, wake up in the middle of the night and think of it, and find it on my mind before I am even fully awake in the morning. I think if I could get my family out, then I could let it go, but I keep looking for things, that when the right opportunity presents itself, I'll have ready as ammunition. (I won't blast full force, even though that really is my personal style. It's hard to go slow with this, and I have to exercize a great deal of restaint. I know that to move forward with guns ablazin' will turn off my family and they might consider me a dangerous apostate.

  I am working on only doing so much a day. I really am.
• 

  life is to short

  I totally know where you are coming from GrandmaJones. I too cannot leave it alone. I wish I could but I also feel the need to prove it to myself that it was wrong, I also wonder what if it is the still the truth and I am just being lead astray.

  I wish I could go back to believing in a paradise earth, but the more I know the more I understand it is all a really bad cult. I think even if it was true would I really want to be part of it.

  I woke up because of child molesters in my hall. Would I really want to live for ever with people especially elders who think nothing of children being rapped and molested? Could God really be with a religion who allows men who have molested children to take care of them and hold baby showers.

  Finding this sight and freeminds, reading that I am not alone in my thoughts. To know that others have different things that woke them up makes me what to know as much as I can.

  I too go to bed thinking on this and also wake up in the middle of the night to read again and it is the first thing I come to in the morning. I wish I could stop but I can't, I just have to know as much as I can to make sure I am making the right chose to leave. I know I am but my whole life was this religion and my husband is still in, I wish I could wake him up so badly.

  It is so hard, I want a life away from all of this but for now I just cannot leave it alone.

  LITS
• 

  Heaven

  Most nights I go to bed thinking of this, wake up in the middle of the night and think of it, and find it on my mind before I am even fully awake in the morning.

  GJ... there is a mental exercise you can do before you fall asleep at night. Make yourself visualize in your mind things that give you joy, things you wish to accomplish, and images that calm you. I have found that this exercise sets me up for a restful sleep instead of dwelling on things that I cannot deal with at the moment. Sometimes I have to force myself to do this.

  Try it and see if it helps.

  There is a lot to take in about all the deception that has been placed upon us. It will be there waiting for you the next day so shelve it for the night and go to your happy place!