My parents became JW's in 1968. My oldest sisters came along in the early 70's because my parents thought they would not have to raise them in this "system of things". I came long in the late 80's...Woops. I have been fading from the Org since 2013. I've been mentally out for about 8 months.
Were you a born in or a convert?
Born In
Are your parents / family JWs?
My Dad is out mentally. My mom and one of my siblings are still in. I have a sister that's out and my husband has always been a "un-belieber"
How many generations have been JWs?
I guess I would have been the second?
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
Not allowed to cause I'm a woman. I auxiliary pioneered once and got dreadfully sick because I was trying to work full time, raise a child, deal with my cheating husband and pioneer. So yeah I never did that again.
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
Yes and I still do.
Did you get baptized? When and why?
I got baptized at 22. I had a baby at 19 and wanted to come back to the "truth" Had a heck of a time trying to get someone to study with me. They literally sat down with me and asked "are you just coming back to the truth because you want material things from the brothers and sisters who pity you...."
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
See above... They also tried to prevent me from marrying my baby's father because he wasn't baptized and I was.
Never treated right by anyone who was "my friend" essentially being back stabbed or taken advantage of for what I could offer them. Being there for them when they needed a shoulder to cry on but when i had a problem they weren't there or "that's what happens when you marry an un-belieber (spelled wrong on purpose)
My husband was cheating on me with two different women. One of these women text me pictures of him with the other other woman and told me everything. I went to the Elders and they told me I DID NOT have grounds for divorce unless my husband would admit to me that he actually had intercourse with one of them.
BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER. A year later from this meeting with them I found out my husband was on a dating website and had actually met a couple of these women and dated them. Again I found out, did some snooping and called one of these women and she told me everything. So I went to the Elders again....Do you think I had ground for divorce. NOPE, not till hell freezes over. Sorry still not enough proof. But they did end the meeting with "be careful and make sure that you use protection so you don't get an STD"
BTW I am a very attractive woman...Not that ugly women deserve this kind of treatment, no one does. But I just wanted to put a disclaimer that i'm not some Ogre...I'm 5'1, Slender, Blonde hair, blue eyes, young, smart. Just PM me if you want a date. Just kidding....Anyways.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
I was really depressed a strugling to find a way to live and I lwas praying for help and I literally typed in JW Struggling which brought up the JWStruggle website. From there I was hooked on You Tube videos...SHOUT out to JOHN CEDARS, JW STRUGGLE, ONLYINCHRIST, LONDO MOLINARI, AND EVERYONE ELSE who takes the time and energy it takes to make those videos. They are life savers. From YOUTUBE I found out about COC, In search of Christian Freedom, Captives of a Concept, Escape from Paradise, Apocalypse Delayed, this forum, and Borean Pickets.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
It was fairly easy since i felt like everyone was an asshole anyways. I just slowly stopped going and turning in field service time. They used to call me for my "time" but they haven't called me in 4 months. Whatever...I guess they don't think i'm worthy to turn in time anymore. FINE WITH ME
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
Careful quiet fade. I came "out" to my mom last week before the memorial. She is totally fine with it, she said I really don't want to talk about religion, we can just be family. My one sister who is still in (and is an UBER dub) doesn't know, but she suspects.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
My Dad. But he had actually started to fade before I did. Now we have great discussions about religion, life, the bible, God and my UBER DUB sister. He's in his 70's so I am grateful that I get this time with him to really get to know him and discuss these things with him. He's been my greatest mentor. I feel so LUCKY that 90% of my family really support me.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
See above. My uber dub sister will corner me every six months and lecture me about Dub stuff but I usually can maneuver my way out without "outing" myself to her.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
Nope. My "friends' weren't really friends anyways. I remember thinking to myself at the beginning of my fade "it really won't be that different if I do get disfellowshipped because I don't have any true friends in the Org."
How long have you now been out?
6-8 months officially but have been on this journey for a couple years
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
Not going to the boring meetings anymore. Doing what I want on the weekends without guilt. Putting my son in each and every sport his heart desires. Making real friends.
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
Going back to college and being a better parent to my son. Giving him a real foundation for his life
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
uh no
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
umm not sure, sorry don't watch movies. But no I don't regret waking up at all. I'm so much happier and less stressed out.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
I'm still Christian and have a strong faith in God and Christ. I go to a non denominational church. But I will never be one of those judgmental christians agian. I know that some people think that religion and judgment can't be separated but I know whats right for me and i will never put those same requirements on someone else. If you want to believe the same as me, great, if not thats ok too. I love that we can all be individuals and still find common ground.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
EH. It has it's place. Any religion that teaches hate, violence or anything else that is harmful to society is bad. A religion that teaches love, acceptance, charity and good works is okay with me in my book.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
NO. My in-laws (yeah i know I never divorced him, but I love that cheater. We are working on things) My in-laws are awesome regular christians and have always accepted me and are thrilled to do holidays with us now.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
No but I would love to if there was ever a meet up in California
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
A good mix of both. Co-workers, my friend who is disfellowshipped, an fading jw who is confused, and a few other wonderful people that i have met through my sons sports and work.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
Sure, if they ask.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
Pity
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
I just let my pit bull in the front yard before they get to the gate.
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
Tend to the wounded. If you storm the barricades they just put their defenses up and you can do more harm then good.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
You tube videos, forums, blogs, websites. If a JW has the mind and heart to wake up they will probably start my searching the internet.
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
Goodness, I don't know. I believe everyone will answer to God in the end. I hope he handles things before then but if not I believe they will have to answer for the pain and suffering they cause in the end. I hope JW's wake up and leave but I doubt that will happen. I can see the Org shrinking...it already is. But it would only be my uneducated opinion on what really might happen
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
I grew up in fear that I wasn't good enough to be loved by God. That Armageddon would be here any day now. So I started doing drugs at a early age. Never went to college b/c you know the end was coming. Got pregnant at 19. Had really low self esteem until I left the org.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
My low self esteem that caused me to make really horrible decisions in my young adult life.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
A CURSE
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
College, my son's sports, work, friends, family, traveling, reading and anything else I want to do.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
It's fading... I care less and less as more time passes. I really like learning more about the JW history though, because that's not always changing so it's easier to remember.
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
1 or 2 hours a week looking at this and other forums and youtube videos. I used to spend 10-20 hours a week researching, reading and watching Youtube videos. I was addicted I had to cut back, it just wasn't healthy to spend that much time focusing on something I wanted to get rid of once I realized it wasn't the only truth on earth.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Love you guys. It's like a big family. Some of you really get on my nerves but I still love you and appreciate your efforts.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
To an extent
Do you fear the future?
NOPE
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Read Read Read. Research, watch videos, pray, meditate, and reflect on what you really want out of life.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
Don't have unprotected sex and don't drink so much diet coke.
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
No! I'm so happy to be out and going to college and living a full life.
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
Uh No...sorry I'm not that interesting
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