Do you REALLY believe Ezekiel laid seige to a brick 390 days?

Terry

In Ezekiel the 4th chapter one of the most ludicrous passages in the bible tells us God commanded his prophet Ezekiel to lie on his left side in a mock seige against a.....brick! For how long? 390 days!

Was that all? Nope. After that, he had to lie on his right side 40 days!

Read the details and then tell us IF YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS or not and why.

Thanks!

1 "Now, son of man, take a clay tablet, put it in front of you and draw the city of Jerusalem on it. 2 Then lay siege to it: Erect siege works against it, build a ramp up to it, set up camps against it and put battering rams around it. 3 Then take an iron pan, place it as an iron wall between you and the city and turn your face toward it. It will be under siege, and you shall besiege it. This will be a sign to the house of Israel.

4 "Then lie on your left side and put the sin of the house of Israel upon yourself. [a] You are to bear their sin for the number of days you lie on your side. 5 I have assigned you the same number of days as the years of their sin. So for 390 days you will bear the sin of the house of Israel.

6 "After you have finished this, lie down again, this time on your right side, and bear the sin of the house of Judah. I have assigned you 40 days, a day for each year. 7 Turn your face toward the siege of Jerusalem and with bared arm prophesy against her. 8 I will tie you up with ropes so that you cannot turn from one side to the other until you have finished the days of your siege.

9 "Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side. 10 Weigh out twenty shekels [b] of food to eat each day and eat it at set times. 11 Also measure out a sixth of a hin [c] of water and drink it at set times. 12 Eat the food as you would a barley cake; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel." 13 The LORD said, "In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them."

designs

Was Ezekiel the first famous Mime

Scully

I think Ezekiel may have breathed in the fumes of burning human excrement and suffered brain damage.

He may have also been poisoned by the fumes of burning human excrement which filtered into the food he was baking and eating.

390 days plus 40 days = 430 days = 1 year, 2 months, 10 days (in Jewish calendar terms).

I guess verse 9 is the basis for the Ezekiel bread recipe. I wonder if the health food people also bake it in an oven fired by human excrement.

Terry

This, for me, is a test for Biblical literalists and inerrantists.

Are you willing to stand up and say with a straight face that this account is a TRUE REPRESENTATION OF ACTUAL EVENTS?

If you are....then....well....

we know what we are really dealing with and it is very sad.

"It is a terrible thing to lose one's mind." (George Bush trying to say "A mind is a terrible thing to waste.")

Dark Side

That crazy Jehovah. He likes to fuck with people. "Lay seige to a brick". LOL.

Does anyone know if he posted it on YouTube?

Pistoff

It is only a "prophetic retelling" of Ezekiel's experience with constipation after too much cheese.

Essan

He was a Worshipper of Jehovah....so I'm afraid he may well have laid siege to a brick for over a year.

Actually, the brick was discovered in a recent archaeological dig. It had an inscription on the side which said:

"You don't have to be crazy to lay siege to a brick for 430 days because a mean old man in the sky told you to....but it helps"

Do you REALLY believe Ezekiel laid seige to a brick 390 days?

Terry

designs

Scully

Terry

Dark Side

Pistoff

Essan

sooner7nc

cantleave

brotherdan

Share this