PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT- CULTURE

serenitynow!

So as not to hijack another thread I decided that a thread on culture could be useful. I'd like to provide a safe place for people to talk about cultural norms or abnormals. You don't want to learn that you've done or said the wrong thing by gettin' a fist in the face, know what I'm saying?

I did this for you minimus, (and other people who are a bit challenged in the area of awareness of other cultures)! I like you, but you are heading towards an a-kicking if you keep saying certain things around the wrong people.

It is not wrong to reference culture. dictionary.com defines culture as "the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture." It does not mean that there are not individual differences, but there are some core issues, and that should not be ignored. Certain things are just common behavior/viewpoints for races of people.

Everyone, please feel free to chime in. I'm going to start off with the most important things for me.

1. Non-blacks- you simply cannot say the n-word period. Chris Rock does a really funny bit on this. Honestly, we shouldn't say it either but it's our choice.

2. Do not touch a black woman's hair. That is likely to result in broken fingers.

3. Do not touch black people's food. If we offer you food, please do not attempt to eat it with the utensil you've already been using.

4. What I've noticed on this board- monkey references. With the racist history of likening blacks to monkeys, dont ever do that. I know that alot of men like monkeys and find them fun, but if you compare a monkey to someone who happens to be black, things can get ugly pretty darn quick.

That's all for now.

wasblind

even if this has been discussed before, an ocassional reminder to be respectful of others is always welcome great post

gubberningbody

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5i5tsIFhDM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeXUm8OOUA8

StoneWall

1. Bullshit....thats like telling your kids not to cuss/obscene language then cussing like a sailor. The word Hypocrite springs to mind here.

Chris Rock doesn't impress me in the slightest , so I won't be taking any cues from him on what is appropriate or not.

If you don't want others to use a word then do the world a favor...don't use them yourself...even in jest.

2.Don't touch anybodies hair; black,white,hispanic, etc. without asking. Could get your fingers broke by any of them.

3.Seems like common courtesy not to mess with anyones food....do you assume white folks love to poke in each others food?

4.Most monkey references on this board seem to be to Shamus..with his kiss the monkey and other such stuff.

NOTE: I have no clue what the thread is and haven't read it yet so might be out on a limb here but when I first read this opening post it hit me the wrong way. I'm sick of all these people trying to tell others what they can and can not say or do or think.

I left my parents a long time back and don't need no one else trying to fill their shoes....my RANT for the day.

techdotcom

1. Non-blacks- you simply cannot say the n-word period. Chris Rock does a really funny bit on this. Honestly, we shouldn't say it either but it's our choice.

hmm...okay. How black do you need to be. Most people I know range in color from a light pinkish tone all the way to super dark brown (a Nigerian man I know) Oops is Nigirian too close? What about someone like Tiger Woods or Obama? I mean they look pretty "black" to me but I would hate assume too much and offend. Maybe you could provide the number from a color sample from the Home Depot paint dept. as a quick guide and reference.

The other stuff you posted is just plain silly and is something anyone would generally consider good manners. Except for the monkey thing? I am aware of the cultural reference you mention but fail to see how it could apply under the circumstances.

serenitynow!

"I'm sick of all these people trying to tell others what they can and can not say or do or think."

I do know that there are lots of people who don't give a rip about whether or not they offend others. Those people are always going to say or do whatever comes to their mind regardless. This thread really is not for people like that. It's for people who are in general caring, and wouldn't intentionally say or do something to hurt anyone else. The thing is, if you haven't been exposed to a variety of cultures you may accidentally hurt someone due to ignorance of other's cultural customs, practices, etc. I'm guilty of doing this myself.

2.Don't touch anybodies hair; black,white,hispanic, etc. without asking. Could get your fingers broke by any of them.

I have first hand experience, and know of through my relationships with other black women that this is a problem. Especially if you happen to be the only black woman in the office, i.e. the only black person they know.

3.Seems like common courtesy not to mess with anyones food....do you assume white folks love to poke in each others food?

I'm not saying it is all or most white people- I actually didn't even name a specific offending race as I've noticed alot of non-blacks do this. The point is in my community, that's not cool.

The bottom line Stonewall is this, we do have freedom of speech, but as I believe it was the apostle Paul who stated, "all things are lawful, but not all things are advantageous." Just because we can say something, does not mean that we should say it.

Part of being a member of society and just plain being a good person is being considerate of others' feelings.

serenitynow!

"How black do you need to be. Most people I know range in color from a light pinkish tone all the way to super dark brown (a Nigerian man I know)"

Black is black.

The other things that you think are silly I and others have actually experienced. Just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it hasn't happened. If it happened to me and I was hurt by it, then it matters- even if the next person doesn't care.

HintOfLime

Ah, gee.. I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling. Unfortunately it sounds like black people have a lot of special rules. I don't want a light-hearted attempt at swiping a french fry off my friend's plate... or letting the 'm****y' word slip in a discussion of human evolution to land me in the hospital with a broken jaw.

I dunno, maybe it'd just be better if I avoid making friends with black people. And I guess I'll have to tell the ones I'm already friends with I can't be their friend anymore, because I'm likely to offend them with my culture.

(Instead of creating a list of 'commandments' people must obey when around you.. maybe just politely let people know if they do something that offends you, and then let it go?)

- Lime

mrsjones5

I'm gonna comment on the point 2. I've never had anyone come out of the blue and touch my hair, not saying that it hasn't happened to other black women. I have had comments about my hair that made me feel like my hair was some alien creature on the top of my head.

I do understand why some black women don't want their hair touched even during intimate moments - it's because of all the time and money spent on the upkeep of black hair. If you see a black women with long hair, most often it's weaved hair and a man trying to run his fingers through that hair hurts because those weave tracts are tight and his fingers can get tangled up there. Most black women also wrap their hair up in do-rags, not because of the look but to protect the hair because cotton sheets will break off black hair, especially hair that has any chemicals in it and as a result has been weakened.

Most black women with relaxer perms do not swim in chlorinated pools. The chlorine severely damages the hair and will cause the relaxed hair to break off. Even if a black woman doesn't have a relaxer in her hair and flat irons her hair to get it straight, she will not swim in a pool because the hair becomes kinky when wet and any sort of style or look is immediately lost.

My daughter wants a relaxer in her hair again and she looked cute when she had one. But she wants to swim this summer so I said no.

Currently I'm sporting a very short natural look (no relaxer) with a cool fade in the back.

Finally-Free

My own boundries aren't cultural, they're personal, but not too far from the ones mentioned.

Call me anything you like, but expect to be called something worse in return.
Unless we're very close friends or family, don't touch my hair, arm, or any part of me. Better still, imagine a wall around me that extends 5 feet in every direction. I don't like anyone invading my personal space. If you see me on the bus get off and wait for the next one.
Don't touch my food. Don't even think about it. You eat my food, I'll eat you.
Don't knock on my door or call me on the phone during my dinner and assume you'll get a civil response. Ain't gonna happen.
If you want something, ask. I consider requests, but never demands.
If you're more than 15 minutes late, assume I'm gone.
Never assume you're more important than my bird. Friends and lovers come and go. A loving pet is loyal forever, regardless of my political leanings, religious beliefs, sexual orientation or how bad I smell. Being unshaved is the exception. He doesn't like having my bristles poke him in the eye.
Never touch my computer without permission until after I'm dead. Seriously.

W

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT- CULTURE

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