Not Getting Over It! Ex-JWs Face Residual Psychological, Physical Damage (page 3)

designs

Our shared lives and mutual experiences, peace and freedom everyone.

Lozhasleft

TMS - Yes I can identify with your wife so much and also with you in part....I wish none of us had ever heard of this damn religion...

Loz x

Black Sheep

Leaving the JW religion of your own volition is a rejection of your core values

Speak for yourself. They are only 'core values' forced on you by your parents, or perhaps, your birth into a particular group. I am relieved that I don't have the guilt from selecting these beliefs for myself.

For me it was a rejection of valueless rules and regulations and doctines.

I still had values. I wasn't a worthless piece of shit because I didn't get my values from my parent's cult.

I might have been viewed as that as an ex-member of my parent's cult and maybe even by Christianity at large, but that wasn't the truth.

LongHairGal

TMS,

I relate to much of what you say even though I came in as a young adult. And, you can't totally 'get over it'. Sometimes things came back to haunt you.

My non-JW family was dysfunctional but at least I had the holidays and parents who tried to instill self-respect and self-reliance. I admit that some of my failures are my own. When I joined the religion it was not my intention to join a dictatorship. I was simply interested in end-time prophecy. As the layers of mystery were peeled off like the layers of an onion, after some years the realization was that I was in a high-control group that would have ruined me if I had let it. This is no understatement.

I began my 'fade' from the JWs at the end of 2000 after finding out the truth about the religion and its scandals and hidden history. Then all the pieces came together and all the doubts I felt were validated. I am still angry though probably because there are some people I have never told off and will probably never get the opportunity. Like you, I also feel anger over not getting a better career or saving more money. So, now I am playing a game of 'catch up'. But, I am not going to make myself sick over this because a failing economy can ruin even the most wise people.

The waste of time, however, is the biggest tragedy because that is one thing that can never be gotten back. We just let it slip through our hands like sand in an hourglass while we were being lulled into a stupor by tall tales and fantasy.

I am guessing that maybe you don't like 'talk therapy' because it will dredge up too many memories and you will re-live the bad things all over again. It is imporant to imprint new 'good' memories and that is what you should concentrate on, I suppose.

I hope you are happier now, in spite of recurring memories and regrets. You sound like you have people who love and care about you and this is so very important.

moshe

I have a problem with doing charity work and I know it is JW related. I am OK doing a one time volunteer thing, but don't ask me to take the lead or run a project. I just can't do it. I did many quick build KH's, worked in assembly setups and cleaning departments, was an elder ( you know how many hours a week that took up), normal field service, aux pioneer, etc. Seems like anytime I get cornered for a big volunteer project I get upset in the end. I just gave up my job as the building and maintenance volunteer person for our Synagogue. I lasted less than one month. I was told I had to do something the next day and I declined explaining I had to work the next day. The VP of the board became adamant that this project came first (they lost a computer with all membership data and no backup), so I told him I wasn't cut out for this job- I resign. Everyone here is basically retired, so they think I have unlimited time, too. Someone called me up the next day (and talked to me in a nice tone of voice) and I explained how the problem needed to be fixed- it turned out to be an easy fix and it was done at no cost the next day by a friend of the congregant who works on computers for a living.

truthseeker

TMS

Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

Although my situation is different, I can relate somewhat, having been a born in and leaving after 30 years.

The longer you are in the harder it is to leave and recover. For many of us, being a JW was part of our identity for a very long time. We were encouraged to be witnesses 24 hours a day. We ate, swallowed and digested their "spiritual food at the proper time" for years. For many of us, our entire childhood and teen years were influence by the Watchtower.

Those of us born in the truth accept that this is/was our life - it is part of our past, our history, our culture. Our lives centered around meetings, ministry, assemblies, conventions, memorials etc.

I found that after I left, I had lost continuity with the past. I can't ever go back there; I wouldn't want to go back there. I have friends and family still in.

It feels like I have been reincarnated as myself, with a new life while still retaining memories of my old life.

The only thing we can do is move on as best we can, find new interests and hobbies and try to help those who want to be helped out the organization.

Refriedtruth

I squandered my life for a cult

jam

One of the major problem we have in getting over it, can you think of one thing that was positive about

that organization. Some one stated, it,s the same as the concentration camps in Germany. Nothing positive

you can learn , only do not let it happen again and try too help others from having the same fate.

Beside becoming A great salesman, I can not think of one thing..I think about my great ancestors

when they were freed from slavery, what the hell are we going to do since we are free. Become the president.

huxley2.0

There are missed opportunities, regrets, things I missed out on, and those painful emotions pop up from time to time.

I feel like I have freedom on the installment plan though. Everytime I see a WT at a bus stop, when I walk my dog past the KH on a meeting night, when I actually take the time to remember how chained I was as a witness, those are the moments I smile and feel so liberated, and grateful to be free.

H

5thGeneration

I'm with you TMS. I understand.

Everyday, every night, my mind does likewise.

I have added pressure that the 'shit hitting the fan' is still a future event.

I have accepted that the stress and emotional toil will shorten my life substantially.

Hopefully, not by my own hand.

5th

Not Getting Over It! Ex-JWs Face Residual Psychological, Physical Damage

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