by recovering 51 Replies latest jw friends
Well, by all means everyone change their plans to accommodate your mom.
This is how my Mom tries to operate and she is getting less and less cooperation from her kids.
I can understand it's a difficult situation for you, but only as much as you are willing to let it happen.
Been there done that.
This is the life she chose and she will have to make the sacrifices as you have had to make them too.
She will simply have to change her travel plans to better convenience everyone.
purps
In that case she is using you as a Hotel. The way I would position it is as follows:
Mum I would love to see you over the holidays and would be delighted to have you come and stay. However I must let you know that my familie's christmas arrangements have been fixed for some considerable time and if I were to change things now it would greatly inconvenience not just myself but others as well. I would fully understand if you would prefer to delay your visit until after the holiday as I will be unable to change arrangements at short notice. If you decide to stay anyway we will be respectful of your wishes as far as we can whilst still maintaining our family celebration. Here is the number of the local congregation if you wish to get in touch with brothers in the area with whom you would prefer to spend the day.
This is how my wife would deal with it and she is quite good with knotty relationships.
as its a stopever as opposed to a visit , i'd suggest she books a motel now cos come christmas they may be full.
If she balks at your celebrating you could remind her how she appears to non jw relatives by being so intolerant, bossy, and grinch-like. Does she really want to give jah's org a bad name? She is supposed to be gracious and if someone gave her a gift she is supposed to accept it graciously as well! as long as the gift itself would not bother her conscience. My brother gets my jw a gift every year, and every year he says the same thing; 'I know you don't really do the whole Christmas thing but here ya go I got you something'. It's kind of cute to watch this little dance repeated every year now especially because my brother never has two nickles to rub together it is important to him to still get my jw a little something.
Here is the number of the local congregation if you wish to get in touch with brothers in the area with whom you would prefer to spend the day.
Oh very good!
There is an old saying "You deserve what you put up with."
I know that it would be nice to try to split this baby in half, but it can't be done. From an outsider's (i.e. not your perspective) I have to agree with those who are offended for you. Regardless of whether she is your mom or not, no one has a right to visit you on Christmas Day and then demand that you don't celebrate it!
I have had some "tough love" episodes with my parents at times, thought not over anything like this. Basically, my opinion is, you have your life that you don't need to apologize for, and they will get over it.
If it were me, I would tell her that I celebrate Christmas with my family, and that she is welcome anytime at my house, but that she better not mess my Christmas! If she can't do that, I would ask her to figure out if she still wants to visit.
"She basically has little to do with me". Best advice, let her sleep there and visit with her when you're done with xmas dinner. Then you will be pleasing both parties, she gets a bed and a "little" visit and you get your time with the kids. If she doesn't like that have her come later or get a motel. ...nuff said. W.Once
Just as you had/have to abide by her rules in her home, she needs to respect your home and rules. I didn't pick up if you are DF'ed or DA'ed? If so, why would she visit you if she is a "good" JW? It sounds to me like she is being very manipulative so as to block your normal routine in having any type of Xmas celebration. Tell her she is welcome to come, but you aren't changing the family's plans to accommodate that visit.
Good luck...
TYA
Go buy her a something and then tell her it is your custom to exchange gifts and hers us waiting under the tree. That should take care of it!
I am disfellowshipped , just a very weird situation
