Deep thoughts: conditional love

greenie

So, I know people talk a lot on here about how love is conditional for JWs (ex. as soon as you're not one, you've often lost JW family and friends). In my own situation, many of you have counseled me to get out of my relationship (for those that don't know, I'm not a JW, my partner is). Wouldn't that make my love conditional? I'm just thinking deeply and was wondering what others thought.

Robdar

Well, I do not believe in unconditional love between partners but I get what you are saying.

Yes, if you left your partner simply because of the religion, it would be conditional love.

greenie

Thanks Robdar.

Others, no response? Am I being too deep? Too complicated? Or...too boring!?!

QuestioningEverything

You are right, it would be conditional love. This is a heavy topic for a Friday afternoon-lol!

mrsjones5

"Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs. " http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unconditional_love

From what you've told us here your love for this man seems to be unconditional. You're willing to be very accommodating of his beliefs to a point that it infringes on your own beliefs. Having him be likewise to you would be unconditional love. If he keeps bringing up conditions that hamper him loving you that is conditional love.

AudeSapere

Wouldn't that make my love conditional?

I disagree. If you left, it would *not* be simply because of a belief he has or a behavior or habit, but, rather because of the control and restsrictions that he puts on you because of those beliefs. And his refusal to let you have your own beliefs and to respect your right to act upon your own desires and beliefs.

And I personally believe that his beliefs are false to begin with.

The love may or may not still be there. But do you really want to start a life with someone, and possibly have children with, someone who is so utterly controlling?

There is loving unconditionally; and then there is submitting to a control freak.

-Aude.

knows better

we thats true, but who says life is easy. you can be a martar in a relationship if you want. having been where you are, and still involved, i stand by my suggestion. you can be the better person and still be miserable for sure. my thouhts are to cut your losses and i also helps me to get it "off my chest". i see recurring themes in your posts and if you think that its ever gonna change, you maybe wrong. i love my wife more then anything. i can't change my situation now. i am in too deep. i understand you have a child with your boyfiend and that complicates the matter. and of course theres the whole love thing as well. if being "right" and unconditional is enough than god bless you. but it a long road and i dont envy you.. or me..

greenie

I don't doubt what you've ever said KB, and I wasn't thinking of this in regards to the advice everyone has shared with me. It just more or less occured to be today. Like, how could I complain about their lack of unconditional love if I wasn't practicing it. But maybe you guys are right. I mean, I wouldn't say a woman that left her abusive husband was practicing conditional love. Hmmm...

John Doe

Unconditional love does not exist. People mistakenly speak of conditional love when they mean fickle love. All love is conditional, not all love is fickle. I could fill a volume with this discussion, but that's the crux of the matter.

John Doe

Main Entry: fick·le Pronunciation: \ ' fi-k?l\ Function: adjective Etymology: Middle English fikel deceitful, inconstant, from Old English ficol deceitful; akin to Old English befician to deceive, and probably to Old English fah hostile — more at foe Date: 13th century

: marked by lack of steadfastness, constancy, or stability : given to erratic changeableness

Deep thoughts: conditional love

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