by diamondiiz 17 Replies latest jw experiences
Hopscotch - yes, even I have one or two friends that I consider real now. I know they are not friends because of what I may or may not believe, but because they like me for me and that is priceless. It's kind of hard at times to make new friends but we must both keep trying. All the best to you in that.
I'm of the Df'd class.
Only about 3 of my JW 'friends' (out of TONS) still talk to me now...and at first it really hurt and bothered me. I am VERY outgoing and social, had JW friends in just about every state, my phone was ALWAYS ringing, and I ALWAYS had people at my house!! What's so sad (and still bothers me) is that 1 announcement - 1 freakin judgemental announcement decided on by 3 men/2 of whom I have had personal issues with anyways - changed my entire LIFE...so much so that almost all those people who were endlessly at my house NOW have nothing to say to me! Getting DF'd taught me about 'conditional love' - and that is what JWs are taught. If ur not serving Jehovah with them - you are against them. And that making 'mistakes' can warrant losing your entire social circle in 1 night!!!! Those 'friends' I used to have...well...they cried when I told them I was getting DF'd (although ALL of them questioned WHY I was getting DF'd due to my situation) but it hasn't changed how they ignore me or stopped keeping in touch. But who really WANTS friends like that...it's fairweather.
I think they don't have a concept of real friendship, but it's not their fault. They're trained to be that way. They think they are showing love by trying to get you back, even if that's the only interest they show toward you. I remember getting angry that my former friends seemed to think that I'd gone off the deep end. They didn't respect the fact that I'd given a lot of thought to my decision. To remain in the cult, you have to believe that others are crazy not to believe it. It's just the way cults work.
Excellent point, trl
To remain in the cult, you have to believe that others are crazy not to believe it. It's just the way cults work.
It seems that we all lost someone but really we gain freedom to associate with whomever we wish and with those who won't shun us if we don't agree with their views. It's amazing to look back and realize that we have been conned by those whom we trusted and the conditional love has nothing to do with worshipping same God or being a follower of Christ but has everything to do with being obedient to a group of men. And they say they're not a cult
I have had only a couple of true friends in my life. Both when I as young. The one had a few
health problems and was overweight but he could play sports like a pro. No one but me
had anything to do with him. They sure missed out on lot.
True friends do not judge each other. I have fond memories of him.
My other friend was when I was around 15. Was a jw if you want to call him that .
I think alot of people call people friends just because they know them. I just call
these people acquaintances. But my best friend later in life became my wife.
In words of my favorite song they showed their 'true colors shining through'
When I left it was during my divorce and that ache in your chest sometimes isn't there but then it can surface sometimes. I think it's called a broken heart. Life can be very dissappointing.
