If You "Date" Someone Do You Still Look For Other Possiblities?

by minimus 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    I have a couple of female friends who steadily date their "boyfriends". I was invited to a party by one of these women. It was Sunday night, Labor Day weekend and I had nothing to do. They had been drinking all day long and they were offering booze quite freely. I was enjoying the beautiful evening on the Boston waters looking at the skyline of Boston. Then the girlfriend of the guy throwing this party sat down next to me and I asked if I was having a good time and I replied that I was enjoying myself quite a bit. She asked me what I thought about her boyfriend and I told her he was ok but was such a blatant womanizer I didn't know how she could handle it. She then explained to me that she certainly is not into a relationship "forever" with this guy but he's fun, the sex is great and if and when something better comes along she'll look into it.

    Her girlfriend is a 47 year old woman who "sees" a "friend" usually two or three times a month and has sex with this guy and they have an agreement---they can see and sleep with anyone else they want with no strings attached. Of course the guy digs this arrangement and they never see each other in a social environment----only for sex. The woman has mostly male friends but only sleeps with this one guy (because she hopes he'll only want her which isn't happening as of now).

    The bottom line is that I see a lot of men and women who date but certainly not with the intent of being 100% exclusive. I see women who are with other men, husbands or boyfriends, and openly flirt, not seeming to care about their men's feelings. And most men and women I know will have a one night stand if the circumstances are just right.

    Honestly, if you were dating, would you be 100% committed or would you keep your options open???

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    "The woman has mostly male friends but only sleeps with this one guy (because she hopes he'll only want her which isn't happening as of now)."

    And that ain't ever going to happen. He's got it good, why would he change that? And I bet that he's got more women than just her.

  • minimus
    minimus

    He does and she knows it. She has surrounded herself with lots of guy friends on social events and claims the arrangement is almost perfect.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    She needs this book because that ship has sailed and she's allowing herself to be just a plaything:

  • minimus
    minimus

    Funny, she told me that she acts and thinks more like a guy than a girl. By the way, her therapist is not happy with her lifestyle.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    ........................

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    "Funny, she told me that she acts and thinks more like a guy than a girl. By the way, her therapist is not happy with her lifestyle"

    lol, that is a bunch of poopoo. She isn't thinking like a man. She's thinking like a little girl in high school who thinks if I give him my cookie (like her cookie has some magical power) then he'll have to love me cuz I gave him my cookie.

    Maybe she thing she thinks like a man cuz she's hopping into bed with multiple guys that don't mean anything to her.

    Sad, but not unusual.

  • minimus
    minimus

    The question is, do you think people who date are all that committed?

  • feenx
    feenx

    These types of situations are pretty common place in my experience. "Dating" doesn't necessarily mean exclusive, and being exclusive doesn't mean that both parties won't have additional arrangements. It's pretty crazy what some people are ok with. I personally am not this way. I am definitely a one woman type of guy, but not everyone is like that. It still comes down to mutual respect and a complete and honest understanding of both parties intentions. It's when those intentions are mis-understood that things can turn into quite the chaotic situation.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Cookie Monster.

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