My brief respite

by silent 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • silent
    silent

    I have been so worked up and worried for years about the end and Armageddon that I have headaches, depression, and all kinds of maladies. Been having troubles with it since 4th grade and nothing seems to help. Just being at the Kingdom Hall is mentally taxing, just anything JW is mentally taxing. Tonight I went over to a gentleman's house to help him work on his computer. He knows me from work, I'm good at computers, and I not only love to fix them but teach people as well so they realize it's just fear of the unknown that makes it scary. The 2 hours I was over there, I completely forgot about Armageddon. We talked about corruption in the workplace, some political issues (of which I could care less), lamented corruption in the legal system, about thunderstorms and tornadoes, etc. I almost didn't want to leave because it meant slipping back into this depression riddled world I live in. "In due season we shall reap if we do not tire out," I think. Something is just really nice about being ignorant of the world scene. It struck me though that the whole reason I have so much trouble with witnessing is because I'm a non-confrontational person and this indeed puts you in a confrontational situation. If only I could have a relaxing chat with some sane JWs about topics such as hobbies and personal interests instead of it being punctuated with guilt and terror. "In the new system where knowledge of Jehovah is commonplace we will have this kind of peace," I think to myself. I find that when you know what the future will bring (good or bad), it completely and utterly ruins your life in the present. Then to know there are tests to determine your "faithfulness" and whether you're fit to live on the earth or not just totally robs the enjoyment of life for me. I actually researched purchasing valium online because one healthy does of that can put you out of your misery forever. I guess I need to read and concentrate more on topics such as God/Jehovah's love, mercy, kindness, as well as Jesus' qualities instead of having this JW-driven idea of the both of them being tyrants willing to kill you at the drop of a hat. It's how I feel all the time. Another thing I noticed at this gentleman's house is that his 2 boys have girlfriends and they have their pictures up all over the house. Just really a nice family-oriented atmosphere. I've noticed that the relaxed atmosphere in "worldly" homes seems to create a nice & loving feeling. I'm sure a fair amount of worldly youth get involved in sexual sins, however I suddenly realized that in an environment as that, even if I had the chance to have sex before marriage with a young lady, I just couldn't do it to her out of respect and love for her. It seems that incessant fear-mongering about sins does nothing but create an atmosphere of distrust and you can't even act like a human being anymore. It struck me then, that a true test of morality is how you behave when you no longer fear discipline for wrong-doing or dwell on the what ifs all the time. All of a sudden, at least to me, it takes away the desire to do wrong. As I kept thinking, I started to wonder, "How many people would still be in the truth if it was discovered that Armageddon wasn't going to come as soon as was thought or that it wasn't going to happen at all?" I imagined that scenario and I felt like a huge burden was lifted off of me. I started to daydream about being loving, enjoying life, and still having disgust and disdain for wrong-doing. What I could do that I enjoy instead of coming to Solomon's conclusion that everything was vanity and consequently making me give up on life?

    It's my inordinate fear of death at Armageddon that is tainting my life and then I'm constantly reminded of it. It's a control issue and fear of how you can be killed for the slightest of wrongs that is destoying my joy. I've read about people who are diagnosed with terminal cancer and they, being right-to-die advocates, secure a bottle of nembutal or pentobarbital. The peace of mind that the sufferer gets from being able to end it at anytime gives them such peace of mind that in many instances, they tough it out until the disease takes them. So I'm curious if maybe I would see a huge relief by being able to end it all at anytime myself. It's a weird situation that is born out of feelings of loss of control but it's amazing to me, that by having the ability to end my life at anytime I wanted to, it actually gives me a desire to live to see if living is really worth it or not.

    I've already sinned by thinking and by writing this post. Everything's a sin anymore. I've never understood why Jehovah has rules that are so insanely difficult to follow when those of us humans who take the Bible seriously, have to work so hard and put so much effort into just living. When you feel guilty for everything you do, why even bother living?

    Any comments into this insight? I'm not really interested in Witness bashing as I am in just plain ol' common sense balance in biblical matters and plucking the brains of like-minded individuals who struggle along these same lines...

    sign me silent

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Jehovah does not have these rules that seem to be so distressing for you. The rules come from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Think about it.

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    When I was young the fear of Armageddon was so great that I felt never good enough that God would allow me in his paradise.

    The rules made life hard to constantly measure up to, most of the rules for young are about having friends, dress and grooming.

    Being that my father was not a jw, most kids would not associate with us, I felt all alone most of the time and secluded from the other kids

    who would have sleep overs and hang out on the weekends. I gravitated to friends I made at school I was accepted for who I was. Yet I still

    feared Armageddon I thought I would die before I ever had a chance to get married and have children.

    It takes time I think to finally reach the conclusion that God is more merciful than we can ever imagine. It is by keeping an open mind that

    understanding will come. Thinking for yourself, reading what ever you can, reading experiences here on the forums is a real eye opener.

    The worldly friends I had I felt the same way when I was at their houses, warmth and love, pictures all over, they had something that is missing in

    a lot of family's I know. What it is................they do not live with fear and guilt.

    Fear and guilt robs you of precious life, you still believe in God so remember that he is suppose to be a loving God. He is your friend and support for

    all the times you need comfort. Don't fear the future, live your life your young. God will be a lot more accepting than anyone can ever imagine.

    hope4others

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    Silent: " I've never understood why Jehovah has rules that are so insanely difficult to follow when those of us humans who take the Bible seriously, have to work so hard and put so much effort into just living. When you feel guilty for everything you do, why even bother living?"

    Jesus is no relation to Jehovah.

    Jesus said "My yoke is light." ....now does that sound like pharisical rules and regulations?

    Jesus had a mission to "free" people. What was he trying to free them from? Could it have been all the man made rules and traditions? I think so. Jesus never intended to start a new religion. Technically, Paul is responsible for starting "Christianity".

    The rules (which always affect money, power, and their control) put out by most religions come from not only their own boardrooms, but what they claim is bible based probably came from Paul. Paul never even knew Jesus and he wrote half of the NT. He was very dogmatic and rule oriented.

    Guilt is used to motivate you. There was a time when people were expected to give "sin offerings". This was $$$ or livestock and it was extracted from people by using guilt. Guilt is a moneymaker. Not only that, with WT it is used to beat down your self esteem. Once that is accomplished, you will be like putty.

    With Wt individualism is one of the first areas to be assaulted and removed.

    You are constantly pushed toward "group think" or collectivism.

    This is actually an obnoxious socialistic leveling device.

    The end game is not to give you any real spiritual education, but rather to recreate you and change you to conform to their manipulations.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    silent

    I'm going to go through your post one piece at a time and see what I can pull out

    I have been so worked up and worried for years about the end and Armageddon that I have headaches, depression, and all kinds of maladies. Been having troubles with it since 4th grade and nothing seems to help. Just being at the Kingdom Hall is mentally taxing, just anything JW is mentally taxing.

    That is exactly how the WTS wants you to feel - scared, sick at heart, worried about the future. If you aren't scared then they think something is wrong

    Tonight I went over to a gentleman's house to help him work on his computer. He knows me from work, I'm good at computers, and I not only love to fix them but teach people as well so they realize it's just fear of the unknown that makes it scary. The 2 hours I was over there, I completely forgot about Armageddon. We talked about corruption in the workplace, some political issues (of which I could care less), lamented corruption in the legal system, about thunderstorms and tornadoes, etc.

    ^This is what life is really supposed to be like. We may not have the same interests as everyone (like politics) else but we listen and enjoy the parts we can agree on.

    I almost didn't want to leave because it meant slipping back into this depression riddled world I live in.

    Your body is telling you something really really important. LISTEN!

    "In due season we shall reap if we do not tire out," I think. Something is just really nice about being ignorant of the world scene.

    yup

    It struck me though that the whole reason I have so much trouble with witnessing is because I'm a non-confrontational person and this indeed puts you in a confrontational situation.

    I doubt being non-confrontational has anything to do with it. It just isn't natural to disturb people's lives with information they don't want at a time they don't want it. People have trouble witnessing simply because it isn't a natural likable thing to do. People don't want JWs or Mormons banging on their doors to preach to them. Why would you "like" doing something your target finds objectionable?

    If only I could have a relaxing chat with some sane JWs about topics such as hobbies and personal interests instead of it being punctuated with guilt and terror.

    I haven't been to a meeting in a very long while but what you are suggesting is practically sacrilegious to the WTS. Every waking moment is supposed to be filled with WTS-induced thoughts. Hobbies and interests are not recommended

    "In the new system where knowledge of Jehovah is commonplace we will have this kind of peace," I think to myself.

    You think so? If you listen closely the first 1000 years will be filled with preaching and cleaning up the dead carcasses. And I bet the WTS has planned meetings after everyone reaches perfection. You just never know when another Satan will fall down to earth to tempt people.

    I find that when you know what the future will bring (good or bad), it completely and utterly ruins your life in the present. Then to know there are tests to determine your "faithfulness" and whether you're fit to live on the earth or not just totally robs the enjoyment of life for me.

    As long as the WTS tells people to focus on the future they have no present. No present life. This world is doomed so why bother with it? That kind of thinking causes psychosomatic health problems - stress-related problems due to no down-time. We are humans. We need time off to decompress. But believe me the WTS doesn't want people taking time off to relax and maybe think for themselves. Or just take a break and enjoy the scenery

    I actually researched purchasing valium online because one healthy does of that can put you out of your misery forever.

    That is a permanent solution to a temporary and very unhealthy problem. And I have worked with a few people who tried this and were seriously brain injured as a result. The saddest person knew what she had lost in her attempt and that she would never be the same. It wasn't worth it

    I guess I need to read and concentrate more on topics such as God/Jehovah's love, mercy, kindness, as well as Jesus' qualities instead of having this JW-driven idea of the both of them being tyrants willing to kill you at the drop of a hat. It's how I feel all the time.

    You believe it because it is shoved down your throat at every opportunity. Even Christ who was perfect took time off!!!

    Another thing I noticed at this gentleman's house is that his 2 boys have girlfriends and they have their pictures up all over the house. Just really a nice family-oriented atmosphere. I've noticed that the relaxed atmosphere in "worldly" homes seems to create a nice & loving feeling.

    Makes you think doesn't it?

    I'm sure a fair amount of worldly youth get involved in sexual sins, however I suddenly realized that in an environment as that, even if I had the chance to have sex before marriage with a young lady, I just couldn't do it to her out of respect and love for her. It seems that incessant fear-mongering about sins does nothing but create an atmosphere of distrust and you can't even act like a human being anymore.

    Like you said more fear-mongering to keep the masses under control. They even make you distrust your own feelings.

    It struck me then, that a true test of morality is how you behave when you no longer fear discipline for wrong-doing or dwell on the what ifs all the time. All of a sudden, at least to me, it takes away the desire to do wrong.

    Exactly. People can be moral, just, kind, loving simply because it feels right. Not because they are scared

    As I kept thinking, I started to wonder, "How many people would still be in the truth if it was discovered that Armageddon wasn't going to come as soon as was thought or that it wasn't going to happen at all?" I imagined that scenario and I felt like a huge burden was lifted off of me.

    LISTEN!!!

    I started to daydream about being loving, enjoying life, and still having disgust and disdain for wrong-doing. What I could do that I enjoy instead of coming to Solomon's conclusion that everything was vanity and consequently making me give up on life?

    Life can be enjoyed. It doesn't require fear to make a good person. But the WTS does not want you to know that

    It's my inordinate fear of death at Armageddon that is tainting my life and then I'm constantly reminded of it. It's a control issue and fear of how you can be killed for the slightest of wrongs that is destoying my joy. I've read about people who are diagnosed with terminal cancer and they, being right-to-die advocates, secure a bottle of nembutal or pentobarbital. The peace of mind that the sufferer gets from being able to end it at anytime gives them such peace of mind that in many instances, they tough it out until the disease takes them. So I'm curious if maybe I would see a huge relief by being able to end it all at anytime myself. It's a weird situation that is born out of feelings of loss of control but it's amazing to me, that by having the ability to end my life at anytime I wanted to, it actually gives me a desire to live to see if living is really worth it or not.

    I like that last part and would like you see you give it a shot

    I've already sinned by thinking and by writing this post. Everything's a sin anymore. I've never understood why Jehovah has rules that are so insanely difficult to follow when those of us humans who take the Bible seriously, have to work so hard and put so much effort into just living. When you feel guilty for everything you do, why even bother living?

    OK first of all not everything the WTS teaches is a sin is in the Bible. You can have your hair this short or your dress this long. Your WT must be underlined so much, and you have to get to so many meetings and on service for so many hours. And on and on and on. None of that is in the Bible. All those petty things they call "principles" - they are WT-made rules to control people

    Any comments into this insight? I'm not really interested in Witness bashing as I am in just plain ol' common sense balance in biblical matters and plucking the brains of like-minded individuals who struggle along these same lines...

    I'm not really into WT bashing but rather into common sense stuff. If it makes you think of suicide it is time to rethink your beliefs.

  • C. T. Russell
    C. T. Russell

    I understand how you feel, try to find more brief respites.

    Living with impending fear of Armageddon, Jehovah or whatever is not mentally healthy long term. I know it affected me growing up. Groups or religions use this fear to control and pressure people. I have found that many don’t live in fear but they still hold themselves to high moral standards. They do this not because of possible punishment but because they have sense of self worth. No one told them they were unworthy or "born into sin".

    You sound depressed, and you’re comment about “being able end it all at anytime myself” is dangerous. It’s good to examine your beliefs, but at the end of the day you’re more important. Take care of yourself and find some joy in your life.

  • boyzone
    boyzone

    Totally endorse Lady Lee's comments to you my friend. Please please read through her post carefully and listen to what your own body's telling you.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Armagedon is a Witness fantasy my friend....nothing to worry about it already happened in 70 CE as Jesus fortold!

  • Waffles
    Waffles

    I spent almost the first 3 decades of my life in constant fear and dread of Armagedon. It put a cloud over everything I did. The constant thought of "God is coming, and will kill me if I haven't done enough meetings and service" literally drove me insane (I wound up in a psych ward a year ago). I had been on anti-anxiety and anti-depressants for many years. They helped a little, but at their best they mildly dulled the fear while making me a walking zombie. I had constant thoughts of suicide, and 2 half-hearted attempts, figuring that I might as well end it now and hope that I somehow get resurrected.

    Fast forward to now. It all started for me after I missed quite a few meetings while in the mental facility and shortly thereafter. I suppose that I had always had doubts, but never really bothered to look into them as I was fully convinced and consumed by "The Truth" of it all. Investigating one doubt led to another thing, and another thing until after many weeks of staying up til 4 in the morning doing research (using JW and non-JW materials) that I had finally come to the realization that this religion that had made me miserable for so many years was wrong about multiple issues, and very very cult-like.

  • Waffles
    Waffles

    Also wanted to add that since leaving the mental hospital, and against the doctor's wishes, I have taken myself off of all medications and am doing fine without them - all made possible by removing the fear of God killing me at any second.

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