I Asked Help of an Old JW Friend, He Refused to Reply - My E-mail to Him

by Seeker4 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  OUTLAW

  "I wondered how someone with his educational background could support an organization that discouraged any outside research on itself, and whether or not that didn't alarm him in any way."................................I`ve wondered that too,about other people.....I came to one conclusion....."It Butters thier Bread".....There is something in it for them..Maybe it`s money....Maybe they enjoy the power of having position in the WBT$.....One thing is for sure..It`s done for Personal Gain...................."Sorry I had to leave you for Dead..I had to do it,to get what I wanted!!".....LOL!!

  ...OUTLAW
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  Seeker4

  With this friend, I can't quite figure it out. He stepped down as an elder years ago. He was one of the best, and used extensively. Now, there's none of that, and I think his secular career wouldn't suffer a bit from his leaving.

  He does have one daughter in. His other two kids have nothing to do with the Witnesses.

  That's what makes it so strange to me. Why stay when he has all his own issues with the WTS?

  S4
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  flipper

  SEEKER 4 - I'm so sorry your former friend dissed you like he did. Just remember that your friend is probably 80 to 90 % of the time under cult mind control and thus has a " cult " personality which he will always display due to the mind control of the WT society. I have found when talking to former witness friends ( even my adult witness daughters ) that the rare times you can get them to briefly flash into their " authentic " personality ; it's like before too long they get nervous and quick jump back into the cult personality because they let their guard down.

  Even though this friend of yours might have had doubts - still he is motivated by fear of what will happen to him if he responds to you by the congregation. I have thought of contacting former close friends of mine that were pretty cool, even one elder I was close to - but your experience makes me think more carefully about the prospect of doing so. I've been out 5 years, and even though not DFed - I might as well be to some in the witnesses, including my 2 daughters. Don't take it too personally about your friend Seeker - he is just doing what a mind control cult is telling him to do - he is a controlled zombie or robot. In that state of mind - they have no feeling or emotion. Perhaps he will break free and change some day - it's all you can hope for. Take care, and hang in there buddy
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  primitivegenius

  i work in a sales office and sometimes when you make a call......... a legitimate call to someone that the company you work for asks you to they will just hang up on you assuming that your a 3rd party caller. I find that people handle that differently........ some just let it go and move on to the next call........... others however will call them right back and pretend they were disconnected...... still others will come right out and accuse the person of hanging up on them.

  how do people respond........ some get mad and hang up again.......... but most of them will be embarassed at being called on it, and you will get put through to who you need to speak to......... or at least there voice mail.

  same thing with that second email........... you called him on his shit............. maybe something will bounce around in his head and he will at least feel like the ass he was being.
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  The Oracle

  Great email Seeker,

  More exJws need to do things like this. Sometimes people need a gentle jolt to realize just how cultlike their behaviour is.

  I hope all else is well with you.

  The Oracle
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  Sad emo

  Perhaps he assumed your ex would speak with you so he didn't feel the need to reply.

  Also, just out of interest - have you kept in contact with him between leaving the WT and now, or did you just email him out of the blue because you needed some advice? Was your grandson's situation all you wrote about or did you ask how he was doing, suggest a meeting to catch up on old times etc?

  Guess I'm saying similar to Gregor - this might not be a simple case of shunning.
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  Witness 007

  "Middle eastern sheep and camel herders"...............OUCHY! GUT PUNCH TO A WITNESS!
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  Confession

  Enjoyed it; reminded me of some of the things I tried to express to my mother once...

  "I have no problem whatsoever being in disagreement with another person, giving him all due respect for his beliefs. I am however troubled by those who assert that their conclusions are the only right ones, and with whom disagreement brings conflict and estrangement."

  "I submit to you that it is the height of small mindedness for either of us to decide that, since we may have disagreements about what is and is not true, we should punish the other for it."
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  poppers

  Imagine the cognitive dissonance he is experiencing. He steps down as an elder and advances his career via higher education, something strongly discouraged, yet remains a devoted Witness. Responding to you would bring into focus issues that he himself doesn't want to face, issues which point out his hypocrisy. His only alternative is to keep them deeply buried, and you suffer the consequences of that action.
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  Seeker4

  I haven't kept in contact with him since I left the JWs, so it's not like I'm going to lose anything out of this. When I sent him an e-mail a month ago, I was friendly, asked a few questions about my grandson, complimented him on his career and said I still considered him a friend.

  S4