Powers of the Dark Side

by Mindchild 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    Hi there ex-Borgie friends and enemies

    Sorry I've been away so long...you have no idea of what my withdrawal symptoms were like after going over a week without being on the Internet. It was much worse than going without sex

    After a bit of computer repair, getting settled in a new home and all that rot, I figured I would entertain you good folks with some revelations I've had during the last few weeks. The first thing is that I learned that I have somehow acquired powers from the Dark Side...you know from Satan'o and his gang of demenz. Yes, it's true, this skeptical scientist has discovered that the Wacko Tower must have been right after all and all apostates have Satan camped out right on their front door.

    So, how did I make these stunning revelations? Well a few experiments I did might show you that not only I have demonized powers but that you may well also be infected by demenz and inadvertently be supporting their cause.

    Experiment number one: Mind over Computer Monitor.

    Sit in a dark room and only have your computer monitor (I haven't tried this on a LCD screen yet but a CRT works) on for a light source. After staring a bit at a blank or stationary screen, sit back in your chair and start humming. Yes, that is right...humming.

    In a few moments, the demenz will show up and they will take the form of interference patterns on your monitor. It kind of looks like sewing machine interference or running something like an electric drill and you see little white dashed lines start to go across your monitor screen. The faster you hum, the faster the lines go across the screen and the more there are of them. This is the demenz secret telephone system you are hacking into here.

    Funny thing is, that if someone else walks in the room, they can't see the lines on your monitor...only you can! Can you figure out what is really happening?

    Experiment number two: Demonized Super Balls

    Didn't you know that demenz are attracted to Super Balls just as much as they are to Blue Smurfs? Why the other day when walking by the toy section of a major shopping mall, I just couldn't resist getting my hands on some Super Balls to impress my new roomies with my knowledge of demenz. This experiment requires two Super balls, one of which is about double the size or more of the other and an ordinary cardboard tube such as found in a paper towel roll and one ordinary ping pong ball (demenz hate pin pong balls@)

    So, in this order you fill the tube with the balls, holding the bottom opening with your hand: first goes in the largest Super Ball, followed by the smaller Super Ball, and finally the ping pong ball. You get up on a ladder or a chair as high as you can over a solid floor and remove your hand and let the balls all fall out together. Be prepared for a little surprise.

    The balls all drop together because of the vacuum created by the largest ball and when they hit the driveway (you need to do this outdoors) the ping pong ball goes flying way up in the air, well over a hundred feet at times, because the demenz have entered it and are trying to get out. Hahaha, try it to see what I mean.

    Experiment number three: Demonized Life Savers

    As far as I know, demenz only like to possess one type of food and that is peppermint Life Savers. Good JW's everywhere know that you never want to eat peppermint Life Savers when you are doing anything Witness related as the demenz come out of them when you suck them. Yes, improbable as it seems, it must be true. I discovered this also in a darkened room in front of a mirror. All you need to do in this experiment is pop in a Life Saver and open your mouth while chewing it (make sure your eyes have adjusted for the darkness) and you will see blue flashes of light come out of your mouth. Those are demenz escaping I tell you. They don't like being chewed on, especially by apostates.

    Well, I could go on from here and tell you about the many other proof's I have discovered that show without any doubt that we are surrounded by demenz but by now you should be getting the picture that something is very amiss in your worldview and you better shape up your act and start posting here more often.

    Demenized Regards,

    Skipper

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    In the name of jesus and jehovah, i command you mindchild.... Hey wait a minute, will that work if my name is satan??? Thomass, are you around??

    Great! Can't wait to go find my very own demenz.

    Welcome back
    Satan

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    I think thomass doesn't like to post after i have. bttt

  • Grout
    Grout

    You didn't have to do all these experiments. Just boot up a machine using Microsloth Windoze. It'll show just how demonized a piece of hardware can be.

    --
    Chip Salzenberg: Free-Floating Agent of Chaos

  • wannahelp
    wannahelp

    ROFL at Grout!!!!!

  • ISP
    ISP

    haha!.....Mindchild you got one of those dodgy pcs?!

    ISP

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    that photo looks like a police mugshot.

  • cat1759
    cat1759

    Ok, Ok, enough already..you have me convinced. You have way to much time on your hands.
    This was to funny.
    cathy
    still looking for the post on gilligan..you actually expected me to find it on this site?
    I know I am illiterate, some help would be nice.

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon

    Demons are in my tweezers...

    Hit a pair of tweezers like a tuning fork and hold them in front of any CRT; you'll see the arms of the tweezers ripple like they're liquid.

    I know No.3 is electro luminescence, or something like that.

    No.1 is resonance, but that's a guess.

    No.2 I'm buggered if I know...

    People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    Hey Abaddon...you got the first one right. Whenever you look at a polarized light source (for all those who don't know what this means it is light from one direction only) and hum, it creates a disruption in your visual field that looks a lot like sewing machine or electrical intereference.

    I never tried the tweezers before.

    The superballs simply work out their energy dynamics to transfer the momentum to the pingpong ball...being it is so light, it flys way out there.

    You got the lifesavers right too.

    Skipper

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