Is it possible to truly love your hubby, wife, partner, lover etc and still

by mtsgrad 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    I don't personally think so, from my marital experience if one other partner has an affair with someone else, that pretty much says

    to the other that I don't love and respect you any more and I'm trying to tell you I want out of the relationship.

    There are on the other hand other circumstances that could be perceived has an unintentional act of stupidity ,

    were not all perfect and we do on the occasion makes dumb mistakes, therefore it should be understood that

    there is indeed problems within the relationship and a effort should be put forth to resolves those problems.

  • yknot
    yknot

    Caliber....

    I just worry sometimes, but your are correct.

    Kisses

  • caliber
    caliber
    Please broaden your horizons on women's research

    Thank you Yknot and here"s about cheating men to BROADEN my outlook on things !

    Here are the top 10 reasons why men cheat:http://www.womansavers.com/why-men-cheat.asp

    1. Because they had the option. The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.

    2. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men don’t feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex any more and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. There’s nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.

    3. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought. He’s met a woman who has more in common with him who loves football or plays golf. He may check out if he is compatible with her under the sheets also.

    4. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something.

    5. He’s fallen out of love. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.

    6. Your sex life sucks. If a man has a disinterested partner or isn’t getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from getting boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.

    7. To get revenge. A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old fashioned sex?

    8. It’s new, different and exciting. Some men get tired of having steak for dinner every night and want to try a hamburger. The same goes for sex with a woman. That’s why men don’t necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners.

    9. To see if they can get away with it. If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it. However, with all the advancement in surveillance spy ware, getting caught has now become easier than ever.

    10. Because you have allowed it in the past. If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them.

    Reasons why men cheat can be more complex than the above list or even be a combination of a few different reasons. Nevertheless, no reason is good enough reason to lie and be dishonest. After all,Karma

    For Yknot a very deep and clear thinking women !

    Caliber

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    Unbeliever
    Thanks for your reply. I do not mean loving the other person, just a one night stand. Considering how many people have done it it made me wonder.

    mtsgrad

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    As many of you will know I just married Mary recently and love her more than life itself. But I travel a lot and that does bring certain opportunities. I have not done anything yet but who knows?

    mtsgrad

  • caliber
    caliber
    6 months later he claimed he was still in love with my friend. He realized he did NOT love the mistress......he loved how she made him feel. What a waste

    I think that where clear thinking comes in .. know the difference between ego gratification & true love and

    commitment ! Just remember the story about the cat that crossed the railway track.. part of his trail was cut

    off ... he went back it get it... the train ran over him... cutting off his head

    "Don't lose your head over a piece of ........" simple but sound advice ! .... !

    Caliber

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    From someone who has been there, I would say that it was a combination of parts of points 1, 2, 3, 5 and 8.

    Then I fell in love with someone else.

    Marrying young as JW can be a factor, as you change a huge amount during your lifetime. In my case, I left the JWs and my mate didn't. I became a freethinking skeptic, and decided to pursue a writing career. She gained 50 pounds and stayed a faithful JW, and I began to realize that this was it, this was my life and I'd better settle for it.

    I didn't. Yet, in many ways I don't think I ever stopped loving my wife - I just was no longer in love with her the way a husband should be. The lying and all that shit that goes with having an affair, is deadly. I couldn't handle that, and knew, if I wasn't going to be faithful to the woman in my life, I should not be with her.

    I'm in a new relationship, and determined that I'm going to be faithful in it. If it's not working out, we can split, but messing around is not an option.

    S4

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    No and No! You have to be free to do otherwise. Once there is an attachment, you are responsible for the happiness and well being of the one you truly love.

    Blueblades

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    I think so.

    You may not be getting sexual satisfaction from your significant other, but it doesn't mean that you don't love them. They probably have MANY qualities that make them easy to love... but they suck in the bedroom, or they possibly have other issues (such as a history of sexual abuse) which cause them to be resistant to sex.

    Let me put it another way... Is it possible to love your parents without having sex with them?

  • Anti-Christ
    Anti-Christ

    It all depends on the arrangement you have with your partner. If your partner considers an affair as a sing that you don't love them then you can't. Love is defined by the individual not by societies standards.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit