The answer to the WT making more money

horrible life

Advertisements and Direct Sales

This is the answer to all the financial woes of the WT. Wanting more and more money from the rank and file, in these economic bad times, is like beating a dead horse. Poor unemployed and undereducated Witnesses can't cough up any more.

If I were a overweight single JW female, I would pay quite a pretty penny for a singles ad. Especially in the Members Only copy of the WT. $500.00?? for a 1"x1".

How about an energy drink?
Get the energy to knock on extra doors!!! JEHOVAH JUICE!!! 6 for $10.00 plus s&h.

Don't go to the donut shop!! Spend more time in service.
Donuts to Go, single serving packages. Everlasting Donuts and Paradise Pastries $2.00

Lotion for those service related wind chapped cheeks and hands.
Living Long Lotion $2.99

They could designate an area to be a little store in the book room. Items for sale directly from the WT, could be included in the WT shipping boxes. Outside companies would just pay to advertise, and knowing the greedy guys in New York, I am sure they would negotiate a kick-back also. Since these items would all be blessed by the governing body, I would think that no sales taxes would be levied.

Any more ideas?

cognac

lol

Mary

LOL! Those are great! Lessee......How about a:

Freddy Franz Dunce Hat: $3.99
Bethel Bourbon - $24.00 a bottle (24 oz)
Anti-typical Anti-depressants (for those mornings where you don't place any magazines!) - $144.00 a bottle (If anyone screams too loud at the price, just tell them it's symbolic)

horrible life

Martha Stewart or someone like her, had a way to cook a whole meal on the engine of your car.

Service Supper for 4/door car $19.95

horrible life

Bethel Bourbon - $24.00 a bottle (24 oz)

How about Devil-Be-Gone Daquari mix? $3.95

I told my daughter a long time ago, that the only thing JW's can do is drink. Now when JW's come up in a conversation, she always has to incorporate the drinking tidbit. LOL

Athanasius

Maybe the Watchtower should try this next year:

Wasn't it wonderful to learn at the 2009 Divine Illusion District Assemblies that all baptised JWs are now invited to partake of the emblems at the Memorial. To serve the needs of our brothers for the 2010 Memorial, the Society will make available special Watchtower Wine from Kingdom Farms; where each step of the winemaking process is supervised by a member of your Governing Body. The final product is blessed with a special prayer by our beloved Brother Jaracz. Watchtower Wine will be made available for a donation of $100.00 per two litre bottle. We suggest 10 bottles per 100 partakers.

Now some may reason that this expensive for red wine, but many brothers think nothing of spending $75.00 for a 3/4 litre bottle of French Champagne. Moreover, Watchtower wine is the only wine available that is blessed by your Governing Body. With this wonderful provision from Jehovah now available to all congregations of God's people, it would be improper to serve wine from worldly sources. Therefore, begining in January, each body of elders will need to ascertain the needs of their congregations and order accordingly.

Watchtower Matzos are also required for the Memorial. As with Watchtower Wine, every process of Matzo preparation and baking is closely supervised by a member of your Governing Body. Watchtower Matzos will be sent to your congregation for a $10.00 donation per box of 12. We suggest 10 boxes per 100 partakers.

FuzzyPaul

The Watchtower IS NOT WHAT THEY THEY SAY THEY ARE. They take in huge amounts of money and do not support any charities. Jesus in Matthew 25:31-46 says that the standard of measure for who is a Sheep or a Goat is whether one recognizes true charity and HELPS other people.

The WT is going to get a very adverse judgement - the total destruction they rant about for others - and have not only set themselves up for it but the JWs who think that feeding starving people is just like "Painting the deck of a sinking ship." That is way callous.

SOOOOooooo. No. I think the Watchtower has sought and hoarded quite enough Filthy Lucre.

ACTUALLY. I WANT SOME $$,$$$,$$$.00 BACK. I spent 46 years wasting my time and energy and money on a bag of rags to hand out and parade with. I want to be compensated for what I lost while the Governing Body lived HIGH.

Regards,

Paul

I Accept Jesus as my personal lord and savior. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Salvation is by Faith alone - In Christ alone. Not through membership in a publishing corporation.

FuzzyPaul

Did the Watchtower really say that JWs can drink the wine and eat the bread at the memorial?

Wow - I went to a Lutheran Church for that last year.

Regards,

Paul

WTWizard

Official White Dress Shirts--$79.97

Official Puke Color Suits--$799.97

Official Call Book--$34.97 with refill cards at $7.97 per pack of 100

Official Field Circus Bag--$499.97 (huge size; perfect for pio-sneers)

Official Watch--$299.97 (dress look analog)

Computer with Software that Prevents Going to Sites Other than the Official Site--$2,999,97 for 512 MB

Official Approved Pencils for Field Circus--$7.97 each

Official 4-Door Car for Field Circus (like the Yugo 4-door version)--$59,997

Breakfast Food: Microwave Poison Sausage--$8.97 a serving

While they are at it, why not sell permits to let certain things slide because they don't have enough time? That way, they can demand even more time for field circus. Typical prices might include:

**Hair that is between 6 and 7 cm: $100 donation, plus another $250 per cm in excess of 7 cm

**House not perfectly clean: $200 per unit of clutter or $500 per unit of dirtiness (the units can be arbitrarily determined by self-serving congregations). If there is paint needing to be redone or the lawn is untidy, it is another $500 donation.

**Car is dirty outside: $250

**Car is untidy inside: $400 donation

**Suit has small spot that is visible at 30 cm in strong sunlight, or has barely visible dust: $200 per day donation

**Wearing clothing that is not approved: $100 per session per article donation

**Listening to real music, 3 minute length: $50 donation per song or per 3-minute portion thereof

stillajwexelder

Bethel Bourbon - $24.00 a bottle (24 oz)

Antitypical of the 24 elder arrangement in Revelation

The answer to the WT making more money

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