***** Name a reason people wont make it through Armegeddon *****

by FlyingHighNow 80 Replies latest jw friends

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Let's start a list of reasons why you were told, or overheard people telling, won't make it through the big A day. I'll start.

    1. They don't take showing up for cleaning the kingdom hall seriously and never show up.

    I overheard a sour puss old elder say this to his wife after he just gave a scolding talk on it. "Yeah, they think they're gonna survive but just wait til we wake up on the other side and they are there!" And held a gnarly finger for emphasis.

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    If I didn't take my kids to all the meetings we would die. (By my brother in law)

  • carla
    carla

    Suppose passing out anti witness literature would be on that list?

  • Priest73
    Priest73

    Fornication (points at myself) My favorite sin ;)

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    They go to school beyond the age required by law.

    W

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    IMO Number 1...Secret sin.

    I can just see the witlesses now. The big A is over, the birds of the heavens are stuffing themselves on the billions of carcases lying around, the dubs are gleefully cleaning up the mess with the zeal that they clean the kingdumb hall before the memorial with. Than someone says 'I thought for sure brother seemsfaithfull would have made it?' Than elder highandmighty says 'well obviously he must of had some secret sin that only Jehovah knew about.'

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    They performed oral sex on their spouse. Shame!

    After Armageddon, I can just see all the JWs dancing in the street singing "Aquarius" while stepping over bodies.

    Smoking ruins litter the backdrop.

    When the moon is in the Seventh House
    And Jupiter aligns with Mars
    Then peace will guide the planets
    And love will steer the stars

    This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
    The age of Aquarius
    Aquarius!
    Aquarius!

    Harmony and understanding
    Sympathy and trust abounding
    No more falsehoods or derisions
    Golden living dreams of visions
    Mystic crystal revalation
    And the mind's true liberation
    Aquarius!
    Aquarius!

    When the moon is in the Seventh House
    And Jupiter aligns with Mars
    Then peace will guide the planets
    And love will steer the stars

    This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
    The age of Aquarius
    Aquarius!
    Aquarius!

    Elders will then do a breakdance. POs and COs will attempt to moon walk in puddles of blood.

    Then everyone will fight over who gets the bigger houses.

  • dinah
    dinah

    Missing meetings or field service, having worldly friends, not following the directions of the "slave", questioning anything you hear from the podium, any sort of sexual activity except missionary position while married. It almost seemed like you would die just for breathing.

    When my daughter was born, my Mom started working on me to get reinstated so she wouldn't die at Armageddon.

    Thank God I couldn't behave well enough to be a Witness.

  • Casper
    Casper

    Showing up at the Kingdom Hall once a year for the Memorial...

  • digderidoo
    digderidoo

    Not becoming a regular pioneer upon leaving school.

    That was the attitude in my cong. There was intense pressure upon ALL school leavers of 16 years of age to become pioneers.

    Paul

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