Asked a deep question to my father last night

by Alex Delta 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Alex Delta
    Alex Delta

    I’m in bed trying to get shut eye and just can’t because of this repeating question that I have in my head. I know what the answer is to the question, but I need to hear it from the horse’s mouth. So in my 30 th hour of being awake I get the courage to dial 411 and call my father who’s an elder that I haven’t spoken to for 10 years. I placed the call 3:30 in the mourning, on the fourth attempt my father answers. I say, this is your son and I have a simple question for you, all I want to hear you say is a yes or a no. If I would die and you’d find out, would you come to my funeral? 15 seconds of a pause, which felt like a half an hour passed, he says well that’s not a question he’s received before in this form of circumstance. I say, I will give you one more chance yes or no, he then tried to explain why he wouldn’t, and I hung up. 10 min. pass and he tries to call back I didn’t bother picking up the phone and proceeded to get ready for work. They tried and called 4 times but I wouldn’t answer. On my way in to work I realized that they may have thought I was going to kill myself which I had no intension of to do, but I can see how they’d be scared after I hung up. The secretary at shop calls me and tells me, your mom is on the phone here and wants you to call them back, I say Vikki If they call again just tell them I died and hopefully they’d want to see me at my funeral, what? Vikki replies, I say, I’ll explain when I get there just tell them that for me, and she did.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I understand your reasons for being upset.
    But remember that they are captives of the mind-control cult. They think they are doing
    what is right, they think you might come back to the cult if they are hard on you.

    I don't expect you to just overlook their answer, but don't let them stew over this for any
    duration. Call now and tell them you are alive, but they will probably never know when
    you do die. It ain't right to make them suffer. What if Mom commits suicide for putting
    you through this? Call now.

  • LtCmd.Lore
    LtCmd.Lore
    On my way in to work I realized that they may have thought I was going to kill myself which I had no intension of to do, but I can see how they’d be scared after I hung up.

    Let 'em sweat.

    Maybe they'll finally realize how mean they are.

  • carla
    carla

    They haven't thought enough of their child in 10 years to check on him, you really think they are losing sleep over this?

  • Alex Delta
    Alex Delta

    I know that it's harder on my mother than on me and pray she wouldn't do such a thing, but in the same token when else would I have a chance for them to hopefully wake up by scaring them.

  • cognac
    cognac

    Wow, Alex...

    There has to be a point where they just say, "wow, this is to much... Something is really wrong if I'm not willing to go to my own son's funeral." I mean, sins are forgiven if you die... How horrible that they wouldn't go to your funeral...

    I'm so, so sorry that they are like this with you...

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    I think the key to all the actions and re-actions is that ten years have passed. If you received a call under the circumstances you describe at 3:30 in the AM I am sure you would assume suicide too. Why not get back to them and try to smooth it over. (Unless this is an emotional Mexican standoff move on your part and now that you've made them blink you're going to run and hide). The best answer is to make your own life and let them be.

  • flipper
    flipper

    ALEX DELTA- I realize you hurt.I'm sorry they have shunned you for so many years. It is horrible behavior . I'm sorry you hurt. I didn't talk with my parents for 4 years once - when I was DFed. But trying to instill fear into them isn't the reasonable way to get them back . As On the Way Out said, they are " cult mind controlled ". If they were not influenced by the witness cult - then their authentic personalities would come through . Just try explaining to them what you hurt about , communicate- whether they like it or not. Make them think outside the " witness " box. Good luck , Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • 5thGeneration
    5thGeneration

    OTWO and Flipper:

    Agreed!

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Alex Delta,

    I think your question was very good and how you handled it. They need to mull it over because it could happen. Illness, accidents, all kinds of things bring our lives to an end. Your parents are being stupid. My two sons are both disfellowshipped but you know if one of them died their Dad would go to their funeral even if it wasn't a JW Funeral. Some witnesses take extreme measures to try and prove their faithful and it is just totally nuts. I hope your parents reconsider what they are doing and realize you will not be part of their lives much longer unless they change their attitude. It is a wake up call for them whether they take action on it or not.

    Ruth

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