by KICKED OUT 62 Replies latest jw friends
Let her in. Then when she's there come home from work early one day, walk over to her, give her a hug, tell her you love her and invite her to stay with you. If she refuses, tell her to hit the bricks.
I must admit my first re-action was pretty much the same as nathan natas.
BFD
This is the kind of stuff that makes my blood boil...grrrrr. You damn right I am angry at the religion that forces mothers to ignore and shun their children. Frankly, there are many who choose to not cutoff limited association with a child. In the end, responsiblity really does fall on the individual, no matter what instruction they've received.
As much as the knee jerk reaction would be to tell her to take a hike, it may not be what you really want. If you can stomach it, and it doesn't tear you up inside, maybe you could try her plan. I say that with the hopes of giving her a view to your new life outside the org, and maybe she will have a change of heart. And if that happens, it gives her the opportunity to "break the law" in favor of love. No gurantee though.
If you cannot take the duplicity of the JW "love", then don't do it. Concentrate on your new family and hope someday your mother can be a part. Either way, good luck and let us know how it turns out.
My .02.
BFD that is a good plan as well thank you
My initial response is to answer like AK-Jeff did, but there is some merit to letting her into your
life through the side door.
1. The child will know a grandmother.
2. She will not be forced to stay loyal to WTS and choose to be no part of the family's life.
3. She may encounter you and find it impossible to shun you.
4. She will eventually get kicked out of Patterson, thinking she is unwelcome in your home,
but WTS will teach her to sponge off of relatives and their money since they won't care for her anymore,
so she will already feel like she can be the prodigal mother.
I will go with this:
Let her in. Then when she's there come home from work early one day, walk over to her, give her a hug, tell her you love her and invite her to stay with you. If she refuses, tell her to hit the bricks.
Either way, you make her face her problems with the cult. So her asking this is a good thing.
I say, make it an ongoing good thing.
There seems to be three options for you, from the advice above: 1) Decline, and keep her out of your family's life, 2) Acquiesce, and allow her to visit your family on her terms, avoiding the father of her grandson, or 3) Invite her to visit, sharing this special occasion with your entire family, not just who she wants to be around. My favorite option is the third. She may actually want to see you, but thinks she is showing you tough love by holding you at arm's length. Force her hand, call her bluff.
Your mom choosing to shun you outside is one thing .... but coming into your own home to shun you is something else! According to her religion, aren't you are the head of that household? Doesn't she think you deserve some measure of respect in such a circumstance? I'm not saying to shut her out completely, but if she wants to be in her grandchilds life she's going to have to make some sort of compromise (in my opinion)
That being said .... I would go with BFD's suggestion on how to treat with the matter.
how does your wife feel about that? You have to take her feelings into consideration as well... That could be a very akward thing for her. And you should point that out to your mom. The situation is not "normal" i understand completely the confusion and hurt. Talk it out with your wife before making any kind of decision.
My wife is a wonderfully understanding person and she leaves it up to me, as long as my mother does not preach to our child and I have no problem with my mother avoiding me she has stated that we might want to take a chance at it. CC are you on LI?
hey kicked out.
Hey Cc81 are you on LI, or were you raised their??
