by Judith 21 Replies latest jw friends
Judith, you weren't dumb. Just deceived. You're in good company. Some of us, including me, put in a longer stint than you in the Borg.
Others much longer. I feel very grateful to get out when I did. It bothers me tremendously to see others get out when they are much older and not as strong to meet the challenges of exiting a destructive cult.
"The God that comes before skepticism may bear little resemblence to the God that comes after."
M. Scott Peck (The Road Less Traveled)
MegaDude
Thanks. I will accept deceived over dumb.
I started to study 28 years ago, let go of all holidays, believed that I had found the one and only true religion. There were things that bothered me (that didn't quite fit)so I stopped studying and going to the hall and then I moved from PA to WI. After a year in WI, someone came to the door from the JW's and we got talking and sure enough I started another bible study. I got heavily involved when my children were 6, 9, and 11. Went to all the conventions, etc. Got baptized in 1984 and faded away, for many reasons which I won't go into right now, in 1986. Oh did I mention I was married to an alcoholic whos mother was a JW? She would tell me to keep my mouth shut, obey my husband, and make all the meetings, read all the literature, and pray.
I tried to be quiet but that little demon in me would burst forth and I would spew my anger at him. And then go an pray about it. Gees! Oh, sorry, I forgot that Gees is not allowed because it means Jesus!
I faded away and went to college in 1989. All my children went to college and have graduated. I disassociated in 1995 but I always had this feeling of doom because I wasn't doing what God wanted of me. Oh, sorry. I seem to be getting carried away and writing a book here.
I started back to the Hall this summer and it all came flooding back again. I found this site (nervous that I wasn't supposed to look at it from a JW standpoint) but rebelled and did it anyway. Here, reading the posts, is what got my thinking back on track and helped to pull my youngest son from their clutches. He started getting that glassy-eyed freak look and I thought he was lost to them. But then the UN involvement was posted here and other things and he doesn't attend anymore either.
Gees! <rebelling again> Thanks for listening.
