how was it for you.....

by Iron Rod 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Iron Rod

  No not that!

  I have a question for everyone regarding your personal experience with the brainwashing techniques of the WT. (Its amazing that I can even say that now. Once was a time I would have bristled at the mere suggestion that the Society brainwashes people.) Before I ask the actual question, I'll illustrate where I'm going with this by using my own experience.

  I was raised a JW,so I was taught from very early on to believe everything the Society said. Looking back on it I think that one of the things that affected me most was the idea that Jehovah was watching me at all times;that EVERYTHING I did could make him either happy or sad. Thats some heavy duty shit for a young child to live with. That you can make GOD(GOD!) who loves you and wants the best for you, sad! It just sets you up for truck loads of guilt, since none of us can live up to Gods standards. Another factor was the constant brainwashing(what else can you call it?) concerning having questions or doubts. They would constantly tell us to immediately put such thoughts out of our mind. They would say that if we have such questions or doubts that it may indicate a lack of faith.(more guilt) There are other things but I don't want to ramble on too long. Anyway...because of these techniques, I was almost always feeling guilty as a JW. After all, there were many times I had doubts, so I reasoned that I must have a weak faith.

  For example...the Revelation book.Every time we studied that book, I was plagued with thoughts about how comic-bookish it seemed. How strrrreeeeeetttttcccchhhhed many of the applications seemed. (more guilt )

  Another example was the "day for a year" application in the "Gentile times" doctrine. The verses used to support this always seemed to me to be ridiculously yanked out of left field. Every time that I explained that teaching to a study I found myself hoping against hope that the person wouldn't challenge me on that point. How could I convince them about it when it didn't really seem right to me? (more guilt....see the pattern?)

  So, my question is: How was it for you? How did the brainwashing manifest itself in your case? Was it like me...a never ending cycle of doubt, purge, guilt?

  Or were you so convinced that you seldom, if ever, had doubts and it took something major to jolt you out of it?

  Or was it some other way?

  This isn't something earth shattering;nor does it prove anything. I've just been thinking about it and I would like to hear some of your thoughts.

  Thanks
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  snowbird

  I was a JW convert, so at the beginning I was so gung-ho and zealous that doubts never entered my mind.

  My doubts began with little things that didn't add up. For instance, I would see some do things that were way out of harmony with the Scriptures. Yet they remained in good standing in the congregation. Others doing the same or less would be dogged out. Can you say double standards?

  Then there was the thing about education and being puffed up with knowledge. What's wrong with being intelligent and not being afraid to show it? I was regarded with suspicion because I'm "smart" and I know it and everybody else knows it. I used to subdue my, as Barbara Grizzutti Harrison puts it, irritating intelligence until I grew tired of the charade. I thought to myself, I don't have a problem. It's the other way around.

  There were a lot of other things: The GB presumptuously pushing ahead of Jesus Christ; the teaching that JW's have a favored standing with God; the insistence that FS was of the utmost importance when all indicators showed otherwise; these combined to create an inner conflict that was unbelievable.

  I knew I had to get out or go crazier than I already was. I chose the former.

  Sylvia
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  Clam

  Hello Iron Rod

  Another factor was the constant brainwashing(what else can you call it?) concerning having questions or doubts. They would constantly tell us to immediately put such thoughts out of our mind. They would say that if we have such questions or doubts that it may indicate a lack of faith.

  Labelling a thought as a doubt, which equals a sin prevents your mind from thinking critically about your situation. It's the world of non thought, where control takes place through the elimination of valid doubts. These doubts can easily be informative and could help you make objective evaluations. I came to that realisation and I woke up.

  Clam
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  greendawn

  It's a cult that's why those things happened to you, it makes for an inability to relate to God in an emotionally healthy way that takes into account the individuality and basic freedoms of a person. The cult needs to instil the fear of God in its members in order to better manipulate them for its own agenda and interests.
  
  The powerfully negative God image projected by the cult can easily act as a devouring dragon like figure that can interfere with the normal emotional development of a person.
  
  A religion based on fear is something very unhealthy for human psychology humans should relate to God and serve him out of love not compulsion.
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  WTWizard

  That crap about my making Jehovah sad as a guilt inducing tool actually backfired. Since Jehovah had the potential to make me happy just by adjusting circumstances (and it would have actually been easier than what He did to keep me miserable), and He refused to do it all my life (not just while I was a Witless, but before as well), I felt that it was appropriate for me to do all I could to make Him as sad as possible.

  And, if Jehovah has a problem with that, I will offer Him the same "solution" He tried offering me. However, I don't know how many zillion light-years across I should make the Paxil pill for Him.
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  serotonin_wraith

  I had doubts throughout childhood, but I didn't feel guilty about it. They were more doubts about god himself rather than the teachings of the society. I knew they would fall apart if God didn't exist.

  One of my biggest problems with the beliefs was the Bible's view of homosexuals and women. Inside I knew it was morally wrong to treat these people any different to others, and if there was a god I couldn't see how his sense of morality was less 'evolved' than mine. I felt so right in my head that I just couldn't feel guilty about it, it was God who was wrong.

  That and other doubts/feelings led me to believe that this god was a nasty piece of work and that I would die at Armageddon. But I would have rather died than live under the rule of such a morally inferior being who had to use threats to get people to worship him. I never 'loved' God, even when I thought he existed (thank you indoctrination!).

  When I was old enough I did the research and discovered there was no reason to believe in a god, and that the fallback position- faith, is considered ridiculous when applied to anything else but God belief. I stayed consistent and applied it to Yahweh/Jehovah.

  So did I have doubts? Absolutely. I was a very skeptical child. Did I have guilt? None whatsoever. Wanting everyone to be treated equally is nothing to be guilty about. I'm proud of feeling that way.
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  fresia

  it is the fear factor and the constant not doing enough, not being good enough, not giving enough.

  Thank you brothers for your'e generosity and we commend you for all youre self sacrifciing work for the kingdom interests. BUT, could you reach out could you learn a new language, could you cut youre working hours down, could you sacrifice youre lesure time to do more.

  More more more.
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  faundy

  I had a problem with a few things but more recently after getting older and especially reading other people's posts I realised how strangely obsessed the society is with sex- not only does it come up in so many of the publications but people I have spoken to who have had committees with the elders for sexual 'misconduct', if you will, have amazed me at the way the related how the elders want to go into so much detail. They want to know exactly what happened in great detail. And I don't tihnk it's up to men to tall married couples exactly what they can get up to in their private time together. Of course I am only talking consensual here, but that's the point. It's between the couple and them alone.
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  Seeker4

  I was raised a JW as well, and found myself questioning lots of things - so much that didn't make sense. Like you said, the day for a year and that whole explanation coming down to 1914 was so ridiculous that not one Witness in a hundred could explain it well - and heaven forbid someone challenge it. How obtuse and convoluted can an explanation be!!
  
  I got over the guilt about my questioning and doubts when I first got online and realized that there were tons of JWs and ex-JWs feeling exactly the same way I did. The lights came on, and I realized I wasn't the one with the problem - it was the WTS.
  
  After that, there was no looking back.
  
  S4
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  OnTheWayOut

  I was deeply disturbed that I had doubts and others seemed so confident.
  I thought that either something was wrong with me, or with all of them.

  It was kind of like being paranoid at the time that everybody WAS out to get you.
  You think it's you, but it's really them. As I got closer to the realization that it
  was them, and not me, then I was upset at myself for allowing this to happen
  to me. I prided myself on my intelligence. I do realize that intelligent people
  are sucked into the cult, but I thought I was above that kind of trickery.

  It's been a totally humbling experience.