Does anyone else feel like this???

by YoungAmerican 12 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Mum

  You are not a "loser." You are a caring person. You do all of these acrobatics because you love your family unconditionally. I only wish it were reciprocated. You are a strong person protecting the fragile sensitivity of someone weaker. Your mom needs her delusions, and you, because you care, feed them. That is not a bad thing. It's just the reality of being involved in the reality system of a cult. Ultimately, you should do what is best for yourself and your family.

  A situation such as yours is much easier to handle given the physical distance between you. I certainly enjoy living on the other end of the country from my family.

  Hang in there,

  SandraC
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  YoungAmerican

  I just got back to read all of your responses and words of encouragement. Thank you all so much. I have found so many postings here to be very enlightning and uplifting. I left the borg because I was young and never, ever felt the true attachment I was taught I should feel for Jehovah. I really, really tried for so very long too. I figured at some point, if I was doing everything I was suppose to, that the "holy spirit" would somehow, someway finally make me feel whole. Well, it never happened! And you can only fake it for so long without becoming utterly exhausted by the effort of keeping up the pretenses. I am lucky that I do not have to do this on a regular basis since I only see my family rarely, but like I said, I do talk on the phone regularly. There isn't a phone call that goes by that my mom doesn't say something like "just hang in there honey, this old system won't last much longer" or "things are getting so bad, Jehovah knows we can only last a little bit longer, just hang on a little longer" etc.... So, thank you all again so much. We were always taught that appostates were so evil, I always pictured them all as wide-eyed, demonized, fanatics. I know, again, just another terrible lie the organizations spews out. Everyone here has been so warm and welcoming. Truly, THANK YOU ALL!
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  legalchickie

  I am pretty new to this forum but I can honestly say that I am starting to feel some peace in my life. I totally understand about putting on pretenses. It IS exhausting! I did for many years for the benefit of my elderly mother. She is in a nursing home now so it is somewhat easier. I have decided not to tell her about this and all the things I am learning about the GB and WTO, I don't think she could handle it. Even though I have not been DFS, since I no long associating with the WTO, my sister and her husband are shunning me. We were never really close though, so it's not that hard for me.

  My oldest son was DFS for something he didn't do. He was set up! That was the beginning of the end for me.

  We need to all stick close to each other and help each other get through this time in our lives. We need to remember, we now have our life back! We just have to find a way to find peace and heal the pain.