Well twenty days ago, my wife decided to check things out and start reading and posting here. I thought I'd give a bit of an update on how things are going because she's still quite reluctant to create a new topic herself.
She has been reading alot of older posts on the forums and getting caught up, that has led to a few topics or comments by me that she's questioned me on. It's almost like having her find my personal journal of things I never discussed with her. Fortunately my comments have always been sincere. While some things I am a bit embarrassed that she's found because I hadn't written them intending on her reading it, it's not shame, just the loss of a little pride.
To the topic header, she has formed a very close friendship with our neighbors and recently told them about her change of heart. While on one side we are thinking about how our friends and family will treat us if we DA ourselves, our neighbors have been great.
Her birthday is coming up shortly and she received an email last night from her neighbor's sister stating that they went ahead and plan to include her in a joint birthday party for both herself and one of the sisters. The refer to her as their honorary fourth sister. She actually got choked up and teary eyed at this expression. Her family doesn't even acknowledge her own existence, and not because of witness reasons, just because they are hateful spiteful shells of human beings. Then she gets brought in by these "wicked worldly people" and treated like family.
Are they hoping to save her soul? Are they intent converting her? Is there any personal gain?
No.
They are just behaving like a normal human being would with friends.
Such a stark contrast with how witness view those in "the world" and even with how they treat each other.
In other news, we are still trying to wrap our minds around holidays. Someone should really write a book for people leaving the witnesses. "Holidays for Dummies" or something. We've been looking at birthday presents for our boys, musing over Christmas (we've been invited to share the holidays with our neighbors) and checking out costumes for Halloween.
Trying desperately not to go overboard and even still there are little unwanted twinges of guilt that creep up when discussing it. We've both agreed that I need to talk to my parents about our stand. I feel no need to disassociate myself, though my wife on some days would just like to make a stand. She's never been very subtle. Either all in or all out.
It will be difficult to try to manage our children's excitement with the holidays around their grandparents and we think it would be a bad example. They should respect their grandparent's beliefs, but not at the cost of their own enjoyment and freedom.
Yesterday she was talking about the book "Crisis of Conscience" that she had heard of on the forums and said that she wouldn't mind picking up a copy. I went over to my dresser, and took it off the top. It has been lying around the house for months, but it's interesting how denial can blind your eyes if you aren't ready to see something.
In all, it's been very interesting. Still working through alot of ideas, concepts and thoughts, but we're working through them together.
Those wicked worldly people
by Paralipomenon 15 Replies latest jw friends
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Paralipomenon
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poppers
It's refreshing to read about someone who actually IS waking up. Good luck to the both of you, and I look forward to reading more about your mutual emergence from the collective.
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Emma
I'm so happy for both of you. Her experience with neighbors mirrors mine. My next door neighbor during the beginning of my fade became like a sister and still is. I told her I didn't know how to make friends and she told me I WAS a friend and doing just fine. My coworkers were close, too, helping me through a divorce after 26 years and getting on my own feet. They were my sisters through those couple of years and I made a point to tell my mom and sisters that. None of my family in the "truth" bothered to see if the kids or I needed anything through those difficult times. So congratulations for seeing the light and being able to make sure your kids don't have to go through the same thing.
Crisis of Conscience, yeah! I didn't read it for years and wish I would have because it freed me of so many doubts. Glad you're not slow learners like me.
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Open mind
Thanks for the update Para!
Nice to hear a "success story" now and then, sprinkled around all the tales of tragedy. Hope mine turns out the same.
Scratching and planting.....
Open Mind
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nvrgnbk
Thanks, para and Bobbi.
Your story is touching on so many levels.
My best to you and your lucky kids.
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changeling
Para: Thank you so much for the update. I am so happy for you both.
changeling
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mentalclearness
I had this friend from school when I was a teenager whose parents practically adopted me..I ate thanksgiving dinner with them..I was always welcome in their home and always treated with respect..I loved them alot!!! I learned then that worldly people aren't evil...I'm glad I did..It's wonderful that your neighbors are so supportive...I'm sure that is exactly what your wife needs right now...
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ex-nj-jw
Thanks for sharing Parp. That's great - have fun celebrating the holidays
nj
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unique1
That is wonderful to hear!!! I hope she enjoys the book.
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BFD
Thanks for sharing this, para. Isn't it awful how evil worldly's try to lure you into thier good graces by offering thier kind support and ask for nothing in return. The nerve!
Seriously, I could not be happier for the both of you. I'll see what I can dig up on the subject of Holiday's for Dummies. lol
BFD