What if the ex died......

by esw1966 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • esw1966
    esw1966

    This thought came up today. I have 3 children. I am hopeful for them to get out of jw someday. If the ex died, how would I find out? Would someone actually call me or would all the relatives kidnap my kids and never let me know.

    I live 1600 miles away and have really no conversation with them as they do not answer my phone calls. What would happen if their mother passed away? How would I find out? Would the jw's have any chance of keeping them from me?

  • sspo
    sspo

    It looks like the jw's don't have anything to do with it. I don't know how old they are but it seems they have made a decision on their own not to talk to you.

    They have been brainwashed as the rest, of not having any dealings with you due to your "apostasy"

    Just hope and pray that they will see the light one day.

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    I don't get it. If they're under 18, don't you have court-ordered visitation rights? It wouldn't matter to me whether they wanted to come visit or not. You're their Dad and you need to maintain a connection to them. Later they may be glad you insisted. If they're under 18, their mother is probably influencing them, but if you stay in their life and not put any undue pressure on them to leave the org, but simply enjoy their visits and converse about anything else other than JW stuff, as they grow up, at least they'll know you and perhaps eventually leave the org on their own. If you're not in their life, who will they turn to later on if the same thing happens to them that happened to you?

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    I'm with journeyon on this one.

    If they are under 18 years old, why don't you have visitation? I just had this conversation with my cousin, he has two boys and always says, "they don't call me" so I don't bother! As the parent you have to set the tone for your relationship, children often mimick what they see, or don't see.

    Continue to call them, have them visit on school vacations. Don't give up and if you have to, get a court order.

    nj

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    I don't know the answer on that one, but, I do wonder that myself. My 9 yr old is with her dad and step-mom. If he dies, will the step-mom have rights to raise MY daughter? I get to see my daughter and talk to her on the phone...when they choose to answer it. I feel the time may come when she deciedes to not talk to me. Then what? How can I force her to? I have made it clear to her that I will love her NO MATTER WHAT and I will always be there for her.....hopeing if the cult gets the best of her little mind right now, she'll never forget me.

    It is so hard to go through this.....(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

    I feel like there is little chance of the ex's passing away though. (And I wouldn't wish that on most days...)

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep

    I thought you had court-ordered visitation!! What happened?

    If you don't, and you keep it that way, then her family would keep the kids and have every legal right to keep you OUT of their life.

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