How many happy JW marriages do you know of?

by Bonnie_Clyde 41 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Bonnie_Clyde

  Just reading Frequent Flyer Miles on the subject of feeling guilty for having a happy marriage with a non-JW.

  In our congregation which I haven't attended for about a year, I can only think of two or three who seem to be happy. Of course, I don't know what happens behind closed doors, but I know of several who admit they are unhappy. I wrote out a long list of couples who have divorced over the last 20 years--including three elders (one is on his second divorce). One elder ran off with his cousin's wife (his cousin was a fellow elder). Just a few weeks earlier he was involved in disfellowshipping a young sister who was pregnant out of wedlock. I could go on and on about the immorality that has gone on in this congregation. From what I'm seeing on this forum, this is pretty common everywhere.

  I've said it before and I'll say it again--we are no better and no worse than any other religion.
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  Marcel

  thats so true.
  but you know what my jw-mind tells me about it?
  
  "of course jws are as weak as other ppl, but we keep the congregation clean as best as possible and we know what is wrong and right. everything else is human imperfection and that underlines how important it is to stay in the truth!!!!"
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  38 Years

  I only suspected one or two happy couples in all of my years as a Witness in different congregations. Most of the married couples are miserable and stuck. It's especially worse when they get married so young. I know several couples of all age groups, where the spouse just went ahead and committed adultry just to end the misery. Then they would work to get reinstated. It was very sad to watch and listen to.
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  R.F.

  I'm so glad I never got married.

  R.F.
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  jibberish

  How many have I known? Very few!! I even have doubts that my own JW parents have a truely happy marriage. At home all I ever heard was bickering - non stop! So much so that I can't stand hearing or partaking of it now.

  Out of me and my 3 siblings, 3 out of the 4 have been divorced from so called JW's and remarried. Not good odds!

  I strongly feel, now that I am "outside of the box" so to speak, that in order not to get in trouble with the R&F or be disciplined, many learn how to pretend they are happy. I was one of them. Oh, and I made myself try to think that even if I wasn't happy in my marriage if I hung in there and made sure Jehovah was happy (aka the FDS in reality) then I would be happy too. Boy do I feel like an idiot now...what a waste of my young adulthood!

  Jib
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  moshe

  My ex- wife was never happy being married to me she claimed- not sure why she married me in the first place- it might have been my red SS-396 Chevelle convertible.- anyway, I don't recall any married couple that she ever held out to me as being the happy one. I think most JW marriages are disfunctional!
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  willyloman

  As an elder, I often delivered talks and cited a quote from one of the WTS' publications that studying the bible with JWs would make you "a better husband, better wife, a better person" or words to that effect.

  Afterwards, I and other elders would sit in the library or in someone's living room and listen to couple berate each other and charge one another with the most heinous antisocial behavior imaginable and, since we could not point them to therapy for help, tell them the solution to their marital problems is to do more theocratic stuff.
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  Mysterious

  It floored me when I was about 18 and someone told me she and her husband were separating for a while. People gave them such a hard time over it too. I just tried to be her friend and encouraged her when she said she was going to counselling. I knew quite a few happy couples but most of them didn't marry as JWs so I'm not sure how typical that is. It seemed the 30's was where all the dissatisfaction hit.
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  elliej

  I know a large handful of JW's who claim that the religion saved their marriages. They feel very triumphant about this, but I think that they are just settling for a crappy situation and then patting themselves on the back for sticking it out "for Jehovah." Maybe if they would choose their mate based on compatibility instead of works they would be happy in the first place and they wouldn't have to brag about how they stay married to someone they don't really love for the sake of their religion.
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  candidlynuts

  i can think of a couple of seemingly happy jw marriages but for the life of me i cannot think of one complete family that the watchtower hasn't ripped apart in some way.