Husband forgot our anniversary....again

by nsrn 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Bumble Bee

  ((((nsrn))))

  I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. My hubby did the same thing on our anniversary in March. And it wasn't the first time. And I've come to realize it probably won't be the last time either. That's just him. We had even talked about what we were going to do what each other wanted several times and he still forgot.

  You need to tell him just exactly how his forgetting made you feel. You may have done this before, but you need to do it again. After a couple of days, when the hurt wasn't so fresh anymore we sat down and had a heart to heart talk about it. It really did help.

  My husband is not the best at communicating, it's something we've constantly had to work on. I really liked jgnat's "When you see it, say it" advice - I think I just might work on that myself!!

  Cheer up! Go and buy yourself some flowers and an anniverasry card and put them somewhere he can see them! lol

  BB
• 

  bluebell

  maybe you should have just given him the card, you didnt forget even if he did- maybe the conversation could have happened then.

  conversations that are serious are hard. i hate them too.

  hope you manage to talk with him and sort something out, everyone deserves to be happy. maybe he is unhappy too and you can both go your own way or maybe you can communicate and sort things out.

  thinking of you (i need to have a serious conversation with my other half and am putting it off too)
• 

  juni

  I've been married 40 years this October. Yikes!! Time flies.

  This has happened in our marriage also when stuff wasn't going good. As others have said here, COMMUNICATE your feelings. A good book I'd recommend is this one:

  THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES by Gary Chapman

  Juni
• 

  ninja

  Nancy...come out for a wee drink with the ninja.....and I'M PAYING!!!!....wow...did I say that???.......ninja
• 

  Cold Creek Swimmer

  Hello. I don't often post here, but this topic caught my eye. My wife and I have had our share of difficulties over the years. We have on several occasions come close to splitting up. But as many will tell you, the main problem has always been communication and understanding. When one gets into a certain frame of mind-hurt, anger, resentment-the most dificult and least appealing road is the one where these ideas are shared with the personwho seems to be the cause of the problem.

  You may think that you are the only one with an issue, but I guarantee that he also has an issue or 2. The best way to come to a resolution is to open you heart first and let him know how you feel-without the anger and resentment. Ask him to let you know what issues he may have with you, and then be open minded enough to look at yourself objectively to see if maybe he does have a point. Yes, all of this is easier said than done, but rarely is the problem only one sided. I am going on 20 years with my woman-and I thank god everyday that we have stayed together. No one can make me as angry or happy as she. I would not trade her for anything. I suspect that your husband deep down feel the same way, but does not know how to approach the subject. That is why we need you-women. We are te worst communicators in the world. It is easier to fight and then 10 minutes later want sex because we have said our piece.

  If you want this to work-as it sounds that you are at a crossroad-then you need to do this as gently as possible so that he does not get defensive.; Tell him your faults 1st, then ask gently if he can see where he might need to change a few things. I am no counselor, but hen my wife approaches me this way, we accomplish a lot more than when we hurl accusations and supposed hurts at each other.

  I wish you well-whatever the outcome. It can't get much worse and if things don't work out then at least you have the peace of mind that you tried all avenues. Remember also that you need to make sure that leaving him is not just changing one set of problems for anoher. If that is the case, then you have to decide which set is better.

  CCS
• 

  ex-nj-jw

  ((((((((((((((Nancy)))))))))))))

  Please talk to your husband and tell him how you feel, men don't know how to read between the lines, so we have to tell them what we want, how we want it and when we want things.

  Maybe he needs to hear how you feel to be able to make changes. Please give your marriage 100% before giving up. Also, the "true love" maybe it feels like true love because your marraige is not where you want it to be, sometimes the grass only looks greener.

  Unless your hubby is abusive, I say try to talk to him, see if he's willing to make changes!!

  nj
• 

  Paralipomenon

  Chances are he forgot, but that could just be him.
  
  Knowing that he has a tenancy to forget, you set yourself up to be disappointed by not mentioning it to him. In the end, you sat up late at night because you wanted to make a point and didn't like the outcome. What is more important to you, enjoying your anniversary together or him remembering?
  
  For some men, anniversaries just aren't that big a deal. If you would like him to remember, why not give him reminders?
  
  From my view, what's worse, a partner who forgets an anniversary or one who remembers but doesn't do anything because they're upset?
  
  I see it as you're both to blame and really need to work on communication.
• 

  John Doe

  Maybe he had a card waiting for you to mention the date? Really though, what's the bfd about stupid dates. They mean nothing.
• 

  mouthy

  Tell him how hurt you are my love. Men dont remember those things as much as women.

  If I were you , I would say it right now.... Put your arms around him and say" I thought this was a really special day,evidently you didnt darling, are you sorry we were married?"""

  I want to knoe the outcome of this day. I hate it when I see marriages fizziling out....
• 

  FreedomFrog

  Maybe he had a card waiting for you to mention the date? Really though, what's the bfd about stupid dates. They mean nothing.

  Sorry, but I disagree with you, special days are that...special. Especially if the one that you love don't show a lot of emotions or care on other days.

  JD, they may mean nothing to you...but for most of us ladies they mean a great deal. Just because they don't mean anything to the man doesn't mean that it's a same feeling with the woman.