hello.....

L.Wells

hello everyone

I have lurked here for quite some time but felt the need to register, probably because i feel almost ready to leave. A little background. I am raised in the truth, am for all intents and purposes a good witness. I just do not believe it anymore and have only my family to lose. I don't believe in God, in fact I'm not sure if i ever did. I never pioneered, instead have gone to university where i am currently writing my PHD in History. The only problem I suppose is that I still live at home (a PHD is expensive stuff...) and my boyfriend is here as well. We have spoken about believes, and I know he knows where I am at, spirtually speaking, but he has a whole "dynasty" behind him, which so do I. He feels under pressure to pioneer (he did, but no longer does) and be a good MS and eventually elder.

I have no shady past- I had a happy childhood and have a bright future, I just don't want my future to be in "the truth". I have good days and bad, sometimes I am riddled with guilt about feeling this way- but for the most part I am glad to be on the way out.

Sorry if this was long winded

XXXEmmsXXX

fifi40

Hello and welcome

Fifi

journey-on

Hello to you, too L. Wells....

I have to say, like you, I was raised a JW and had a good childhood compared to what I've seen and heard from others. I faded many years ago, was never d'f nor did I d'a, but I still have family members in the org and it's currently creating problems.

It's a conundrum, indeed. Balancing and weighing the pros and cons, trying to decide just how to "get out" without destroying everything, trying to be true to yourself, etc. This forum will help you... lots of smart, compassionate, and helpful folks on JWD.

Welcome.............Journey-on

itsallgoodnow

L,

welcome! I understand your situation perfectly. they don't make leaving this organization easy, do they?

I think you will like it here, sometimes you just need to be able to talk to people who understand.

exwitless

Welcome aboard, L. Wells. Nice to meet you and hear your story. Congratulations on pursuing such a prestigious degree (despite the JWs advice against it.) You have a great future ahead of you, as long as you maintain your path AWAY from the Watchtower. Hope you and your boyfriend can find a way out soon. Good luck! (Yes, we can actually say "luck" here!)

mouthy

Welcome aboard you said>>> I have good days and bad, sometimes I am riddled with guilt ...But that is not healthy I believe Guilt is the most destructive force in the world... So make up your mind to either realise it is NOT the truth ....& stop the guilt. If you devulge your feelings & thoughts to any in the WT or jw family you may lose them all. & since you say you dont believe in GOD that will be one way you will realise that GOD does exist-....because He warned us about the WT ...told us NOT to go there . But we did. & didnt read the Bible for ourselves we let a bunch of old men sitting in Bethel tell us what to believe how to walk ,how to talk., Welcome aboard the UNCONDITIONAL congregation

What-A-Coincidence

I am riddled with guilt about feeling this way

this too shall pass

OnTheWayOut

Another big welcome to a newcomer. Great to hear your brief story.

Sorry if this was long winded

Most people here want more-more-more. Feel free to add.

The road ahead is rough. Some would suggest you just walk away
and face it like pulling off a bandage. That's one way.
You and the BF can fade if you aren't ready to
remove yourselves from the lifestyle and the families. Suggest to the BF
that he sabotage his chances of becoming an MS, by some irregular
publishing (skipping a whole month here and there). He could also
stand to miss a few meetings and "forget" about a TMS assignment.

Be careful that he doesn't become loyal and turn you in. Make sure he is
on board before you share too much. But if you are turned in, enjoy the
freedoms you will have, or pretend repentance.

free2think

Welcome L.Wells, look forward to reading more of your posts.

ninja

hey emmster.....welcome to da board

hello.....

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